Tag: gun nuts

Hot New Dating Site Helps Gun Humpers Hump Other Gun Humpers

Gun lovers! Do you love the idea of a romantic first date at a coffee shop, but fear that the ladies you meet on Tinder may be put off when you show up with a ginormous assault rifle strapped...

Second Amendment Nuts So Mad Bill O’Reilly Doesn’t Want Them To Overthrow The Government

Yes, apparently Bill O'Reilly is far too liberal now!
Fresh out of butt jokes this week.

The Snake Oil Bulletin: ‘Health Rangers,’ Please Don’t Put GMO Scientists On Your ‘Kill Lists’

Are you suffering from a poor case of chin cough, milk leg, or St. Anthony's Fire? Well step right up hyah! Your Wonkette proudly presents to you, at only a modest fee, the Snake Oil Bulletin, your premier source...

The Blaze So Excited About Tennessee Restaurant That Really Loves Gun Humpers

Though the gun humpers are hell-bent on humping their guns everywhere, they've recently suffered some setbacks with places like Target and Chipotle taking away their god-given Second Amendment freedoms by not letting them roll into the store on a...

Target Stores Are The Latest Lucky Hosts Of Open Carry Texas Idiots

Another day, another story about some gun nuts that just won't be happy if they can't bring a semi-automatic weapon to the corner store when they pick up a loaf of bread, a container of milk, and a stick...

Gun Humpers Fight For Their Right To Shoot Up All The Polling Places, For Freedom

Remember when history's greatest and most pervasive monsters, the New Black Panther Party, showed up with a whopping two dudes or so in Philly in 2008 and stood around intimidating little old white ladies by holding doors open for...

Open Carry Gun Humpers Prevail Over NRA, Are Gunniest Nuttiest Humpiest Of All

We are having one hell of a time keeping up with this internecine gun group warfare. It all started Monday, when the grandaddy of all gun-humpers, the NRA, asked some of the open carry folks to please chill because...

Veep Recap: The Punch Heard ‘Round the World

The campaign within the campaign has begun to take over the actual campaign on this week's episode of "Veep." We open on Selina's motorcade descending on the blighted urban Thunderdome that is Detroit, and there's a some kind of...

Supreme Court Coming To Grab Your Guns Just Because You Beat Your Wife, Like That Is Even Fair

So let's say you are a person who abuses your spouse, but only in the teeniest tiniest way. And let's say you plead guilty, just to put that whole mess behind you. That shouldn't stop you from your God-given...

Hero School Board Member Martyred Over Plan To Lovingly Remember Sandy Hook Victims With Ammo Giveaway

Last month, lots of people worked through their continuing grief over Sandy Hook in their own ways. There were moments of silence and flags flown at half-mast. Some people, like Gregory Beck, a member of the Brookfield school...

You Can Pry The Smith & Wesson From Lady’s Cold Dead Hoo-Haw, And Other Notable Gun News

Oh hai! Welcome to this edition of Our Cold Dead Hands, Wonkette’s weekly look at the state of the gun debate in America, where evil liberals bent on controlling every aspect of your lives continue their efforts to disarm...

Field & Stream ‘Gun Nuts’ Columnist Zapruders Sarah Palin

Poor Sarah Palin. She got fired from Fox (probably, why not) and doesn't even have a reality show anymore. Since nobody in her family seems to have a job, ever, who is going to keep her in Taco Bell?...

NRA: Despite Living In House Full Of Guns, More Guns Could Have Saved Kasandra Perkins

In the ritualized aftermath of a high-profile shooting, there are certain things that absolutely must happen. Obviously, it is very important to explain how the victim's poor choices led to the tragedy, so that We At Home can feel...

Missouri House Backs Making Gun Nuts Protected Class

Missouri state Rep. Wanda Brown has had it up to here with the suspicion, the bigotry, the gol-dang prejudice against a certain class of Murkins who know from the pain of intolerance and hatred, and Rep. Wanda Brown did...

Arizona Cop Not Sure What Big Deal Is Over His Bullet-Riddled Obama Photo

What had we gone, a whole week or so without a news story about a public official cracking jokes online about murdering Barack Obama? That's kind of a long time! Don't "worry," however, Mexico still does not want Arizona...

Arizona Gun Nuts Pose Children With Assault Rifles and Santa

Have you somehow forgotten about Arizona these past few days? Let's remember it all over again, for the holidays! Nothing says "mythology of the peaceful savior Jesus" like an Arizona gun club hosting a Guns 'n Santa family foto...