Wonkette

COURAGEOUS RON PAUL SAVES BABIES FROM TAXES, GUN CONTROL: He has a natural “pocket of support” in Alaska, where locals share his love of firearms, hatred of the income tax, and favorite hobby: swaddling one-armed infants in flags. [Wall Street Journal]

William Hoover might’ve had some Taco Bell or something for dinner before he stopped by the Wheeler’s Beverage Store in Southport, New York on Sunday night, but who’s to say, really. Witnesses, however, report that whatever Billy-boy ate left an impression on them (and possibly a stain on his pants). Unable to cope with the humiliation of everyone knowing that he farted, he went outside to his car and retrieved his semi-automatic rifle to eliminate all the witnesses. He’s in jail, but, when he gets out, Wonkette has some advice: if you squeeze your ass cheeks together really hard, you can truly stave off a fart. Also, um, calling Mike Mukasey? There’s at least one more dude to add to that list of crazy people who shouldn’t have guns. Thanks! [WETMTV.com]

Attorney General Mukasey announced today that the FBI had added more than 220,000 crazy people to its list of people prohibited from owning guns that gun dealers are supposed to check - since June. Only 28 states currently provide the FBI with any data about dangerously mentally ill people who probably shouldn’t be toting guns around. [Washington Post]

Wonkette correspondent Katie Clancy, who stirred the pot with a brief incendiary report from a book party for Hunter S. Thompson bio Gonzo, weighs in on Obama’s fuzzy stance on gun control.
Gun Lovers Unite! Obama does support 2nd amendment rights — as long as you live on a farm and have a gun rack in your truck. Driving through Harlan, Iowa this past weekend (wild country!), Michelle Obama apparently took a stand on gun control through urban-tinted goggles. MORE »

Gun nuts and anti-gun people are all waiting with breathless anticipation to see if the Supreme Court is going to take up the case against D.C.’s gun ban. The United States Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit ruled last March that D.C.’s longstanding gun ban was unconstitutional and everyone’s been waiting for the Court to decide whether to take the appeal of that appeal. No one really knows if they’ll rule in favor of a broad interpretation of the whole “A well regulated Militia being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed” thing or a more strict one, but I think people sense the irony that many of the same advocates who castigate judges for not being narrow enough in their interpretation of the law seem to like the broader definition in this case. Right? [NY Times]

Attention, Poughkeepsie, New York: Vice President Dick Cheney is coming to town, and he will be armed. I repeat: HE WILL BE ARMED. We know he will be hunting, but we don’t what he’ll be hunting. Consider yourselves warned.
Exclusive: Cheney to hunt in Dutchess County again {Poughkeepsie Journal]

Above, the now famous video of Rudy Giuliani taking a call from “his wife” in the middle of a capitulating speech to the NRA, who, understandably, hate him for supporting stricter gun control measures while mayor than just about any other politician in the country besides those who are or have been mayors of large cities. But maybe his wife wasn’t actually the one who was calling him! If you watch the video, and you’re a fan of either guns or the Constitution (or both!), you might notice that America’s Mayor is, in fact, in the middle of fundamentally misquoting our beloved Second Amendment when his wife calls. Our patriotic colleagues at FreeRepublic certainly noticed. MORE »

Good news: Everyone gets a gun! MORE »

The New York Times sent its anthropologists deep into the South and Midwest to determine just what sort of things go on in these godforsaken places and report back to the entrenched liberal elite. Their findings: Gunplay! MORE »