gun control
Ted Nugent Is Very Concerned About All This Rape. Of the Constitution. By Libruls.
Constitutional scholar, NRA board member, and serial fact assaulter Ted Nugent, miraculously still neither dead nor in jail, would just like America to know that we do not need to fear easy access to guns by ordinary Americans like Adam Lanza (no prior convictions) or James Holmes (no priors) or Jared Loughner (possession of drug [...]
Deleted E-Mails Of The Week: Progressives Are The True Nazis, And An Important Clarification To Our 2008 St. Patrick’s Day Story
Hey, kids, it’s been a hoot being your Stealth Editron all day today, as a dry run or shakedown cruise or dress rehearsal for June, when Yr Dok Zoom will be editoring for the three weeks of Yr Editrix’s Great Wonk Your Brains Out Tour. (We are fairly sure we did OK, though some buyer’s [...]
Piers Morgan Responds To London Terror Killing By Uninviting Dana Loesch From His Birthday Party
In a concrete demonstration of what happens when insufferable jerkbag meets irredeemable boor, Dana Loesch and Piers Morgan had themselves a big ol’ Twitter fight Wednesday, the occasion being Loesch’s tweet in response to the decapitation of a British soldier by a pair of terrorists. Dana made a funny joke about why gun control is [...]
Teen Korner For Teenz: Please Don’t Shoot Us Edition
Guns! Can live without ‘em, and with ‘em, well, we can’t live! I tell ya! But however much Obama and the Kommunist Youth are trying to take your second amendment gun fondling rights, you will always be able to keep your semiautomatic lead sprinklers, no matter how much we sensible people might try to grab [...]
Here is Your Handy Wonkette Guide to Not Panicking About 3D-Printed Guns
This is a guest post from your compatriot Alex Ruthrauff, aka “Sheriff Joe Biden.” We are all Jetsons now with our 3D printers spitting out all kinds of shit all the time, like houses and ears and spiky-tipped dildos and also now guns named by unimaginative libertarian dipsticks. Meet the, ahem, “Liberator,” everybody! The New [...]
Boss Hogg Takes Over As NRA President
Alabama, you have given this nation so much: George Wallace, Bull Connor, Roy Moore, insanely restrictive abortion laws, Richard Shelby AND Jeff Sessions in the same Congress, crappy Neil Young songs, and even crappier Lynrd Skynrd responses. Your generosity in contributing to this nation’s civic and cultural life is so vast, we can never repay [...]
Jerry Brown’s Stormtroopers Might Actually Pry Some Guns From Some Cold Dead Hands, and Other Gun News
Hi diddly ho, Wonkerinos! It has been awhile since we submerged ourselves in the crazy world of America’s most prominent and deadly fetish. Frankly, we were feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the stories of people accidentally blowing away their own toddlers while cleaning their shotguns, and then the useless dicks in Congress killed gun [...]
Jim Inhofe Introduces Bill to Provide Desperately Needed Bullets for Starved American Guns
Terrible news, America. After decades of stockpiling obscene quantities of killing implements for fun and murder around the world, the good times are coming to an end now that Senator Jim Inhofe has gotten wind of the real reason the Department of Homeland Security is buying 1.6 billion rounds of ammunition: the government is trying [...]
WSJ Columnist Explains Conspiracy Theory for Gabby Giffords Editorial, Crawls Back Under Rock
Since Gabby Giffords reacted to the Senate’s defeat of gun-control legislation with this anguished New York Times op-ed declaring she would not give up the fight, a variety of right-wing pundits have mansplained that Gabby is being “emotional” and not using “logic” and “reason” and is a “bully,” so she should sit down and shut [...]
Like Crazed Person With Gun, Senate Kills Everything It Sees
Hey remember how yr Wonkette told you, over and over, that the Senate’s gun control bill was going to die…with (well really without) votes? We now declare this meme dead along with the bill. Today the Senate votes on the package of amendments to the watered-down gun control bill it has spent three months painfully [...]
South Carolina Congressdude: Gun Background Checks Will Rwanda Us To Death
We must admit we are impressed. In a media environment where Everything Is Just Like Hitler, Rep. Jeff Duncan (R-South Carolina Like That’s A Surprise) proves once again that he is a master of analogy. Seeking a worst-case scenario for expanding background checks to cover gun shows and other private sales, he didn’t simply grab [...]
Senators Maybe Agree On Gun Background Checks; NRA Psychics Predict That Shootings Will Still Happen
Good news, everybody! There’s been incremental progress toward closing the gun-show loophole in background checks for gun purchases! Senators Pat Toomey (R-Pennsylvania) and Joe Manchin (“D”-West Virginia) announced that they have agreed on a watered-down version of universal background checks that would not be universal but would still expand the checks to cover sales at [...]
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Deleted Comments Of The Day: Did Someone Mention Guns?
by Doktor Zoom
Hey, looks like Yr Wonkette wandered onto one of those news aggravation sites again. This time, we had an influx of new readers from the Gun-Fondling community, who simply wanted to have an honest exchange of views on the question of gun safes, until their comments went to moderation like all new comments do, at [...]