Tag Archives: gun control

  Not so brave after all

Nikki Haley Did Her One Good Thing, Back To Being Coward Now

Leadership fail
While people are so busy clap-clapping for South Carolina’s Republican governor, who finally and quite reluctantly called for the removal of the Confederate flag from the state capitol, they might want to take a brief intermission to note just how reluctant Nikki Haley is to see the flag removed: Read more on Nikki Haley Did Her One Good Thing, Back To Being Coward Now…
  america fuck yeah

Rep. Steve King: Who Cares About A Few Massacres When You Have All This Freedom?

Good Ol' Fashioned Nightmare Fuel
Iowa Republican congresscantaloupe Steve King had a few thoughts about Barack Obama’s treasonous attack on freedom last week, when the president said the United States is pretty exceptional, and not in the good way, when it comes to mass killings, and that “this type of mass violence does not happen in other advanced countries.” For one thing, said King on a rightwing radio show in Iowa, it does happen, sometimes, just not nearly as often as it does in the USA — which was Obama’s point anyway. But for another thing, we can’t do anything to prevent it without making America a worser, less Americanly Exceptional Freedom Landy place: Read more on Rep. Steve King: Who Cares About A Few Massacres When You Have All This Freedom?…
  Ha ... ha ... groan

Ted Cruz Tells Another Appropriate Well-Timed Joke, This Time About Guns Ha Ha Ha

Hoo boy, that Ted Cruz sure is a funny guy. While he is too big a coward to take a position on the Confederate flag and whether it should continue to fly on the grounds of South Carolina’s state capitol (hint: it should not), he’s not at all afraid to crack some “jokes” about gun control at a town hall meeting in Red Oak, Iowa: Read more on Ted Cruz Tells Another Appropriate Well-Timed Joke, This Time About Guns Ha Ha Ha…
  A Mighty Fortress Needs More Guns

Fox News: Gun-Free Zones Committed That Hate Crime In Charleston

This would fix everything
That was fast! It only took a few hours for Fox to toss up an editorial explaining that the best explanation of why six women and three men were shot to death in their church Wednesday night is that nobody in the church was packing heat like they should have been. Read more on Fox News: Gun-Free Zones Committed That Hate Crime In Charleston…
  Why does he always have to politicize everything?

President Obama Divides Nation, Says Charleston Shooting Involved Gun

President Obama spoke briefly about the church shooting in Charleston that left nine dead, in what the Department of Justice and other authorities are investigating as a hate crime. There’s no official word from the feds on what kind of hate crime, so per Fox News and other rightwing “news” outlets, it’s likely the alleged shooter spewed racist epithets and wanted to take his country back from the black congregation because he was primarily motivated by his hatred of Christians, of all races. Read more on President Obama Divides Nation, Says Charleston Shooting Involved Gun…
  just kidding they're all racist assholes

Wingnuts React To Charleston Church Shooting With Thoughtful Gravitas We’ve Come To Expect

Unlike wingnuts, that ugly dog is actually lovable.
Our headline is a flat-out lie. Wednesday night in Charleston, a white gunman identified as Dylann Storm Roof allegedly sat and prayed with black churchgoers at a bible study for an hour, and then opened fire, killing nine people, including the pastor, Clementa Pinckney, who was also a South Carolina state senator. As he continued to shoot, a survivor reports that Roof said, “I have to do it. You rape our women and you’re taking over our country. And you have to go.” Unless this particular church has a reputation for raping our women and taking over our country, that sure sounds like a hate crime, and we don’t mean against Christians. Read more on Wingnuts React To Charleston Church Shooting With Thoughtful Gravitas We’ve Come To Expect…
  America: Where preventing child murder is controversial

Country Stars Tim McGraw, Billy Currington In False-Flag Gun-Grabbing Sandy Hook Slapfight!

Tim McGraw's gonna have to pry the guns out of his own songs!
Remember the Sandy Hook school massacre? The one where 20 first-graders were gunned down by a crazed shooter named Adam Lanza? Yes, that one. Tim McGraw announced this week that he would be headlining a concert in Hartford, Connecticut, to benefit Sandy Hook Promise, a America-hating, gun-grabbing nonprofit group that seeks to protect kids from getting murdered, with guns. Sounds innocuous enough, right? Not for America’s rabid gun-humpers! No, not even the Sandy Hook massacre was horrifying enough to get those fine patriots to reconsider their position on gun control. Those kids are just collateral damage we guess — assuming they existed! Also scheduled to perform were Billy Currington and Chase Bryant, but oh wait, after being relentlessly attacked by wingnuts, Billy Currington has decided to be a pussy and pull out. Let’s examine in further detail! Read more on Country Stars Tim McGraw, Billy Currington In False-Flag Gun-Grabbing Sandy Hook Slapfight!…
  There's an app for that

Gun-Humpers Using Sexy App To Track Gun Control Advocates, What Could Go Wrong?

Just a normal guy, on his way to the Taco Bell.
Here is a story that will warm the hearts of all patriotic Americans with guns firmly held by cold dead hands, out of which none can pry them! There are people out there who think it might be wise to fight for a little more gun control, a little more responsibility on the part of gun owners, so kids don’t get massacred at school or accidentally shot by their siblings. This is an un-American belief, so these people must be tracked, and wouldn’t you know it, there’s an app for that: Read more on Gun-Humpers Using Sexy App To Track Gun Control Advocates, What Could Go Wrong?…
  the secret life of emily mitty

Gun-Nut Reporter Did Not Actually Fight Off One Million Crack Fiends Singlehandedly

A few years ago, wingnutty bobblehead Emily Miller published a series of articles about the Kafka-esque bureaucratic nightmare she encountered when buying and registering a handgun in Washington after she survived a home invasion. She eventually expanded the articles into the book “Emily Gets Her Gun…But Obama Wants to Take Yours,” for which she has been feted by gun-humpers everywhere. The NRA even made a video of her story. A dark night, a vulnerable young blonde white woman, a bunch of street thugs probably hopped up on the Mary Jane … Scary! Read more on Gun-Nut Reporter Did Not Actually Fight Off One Million Crack Fiends Singlehandedly…
  intramural frisbee golf just got more exciting

Nevada Bill Will Solve Rape, Let All Co-Eds Shoot Everyone, What Could Go Wrong?

Where could she even be hiding a gun?
Ah, college. That heady brew of drinking, parties, hormones, Marxist indoctrination, drugs, late nights, not enough sleep, political correctness, overblown drama, and more hormones. You know what might spice it up even more? Allowing students to carry guns on campus. Because when you can arm immature monsters who drink like fish and have poor impulse control, you have to do it. Read more on Nevada Bill Will Solve Rape, Let All Co-Eds Shoot Everyone, What Could Go Wrong?…
  Mah Raghts!

Gun Nuts Just Want Mom’s Address To Say Howdy, Probably

More evidence that open carry is in the Napoleon-in-Russia phase of its campaign for gun rights most people never asked for and don’t want: a now-deleted tweet from prominent Texas open carry nut and alleged airline pilot Eric Reed: How’s that month-old frozen horse meat tasting today, Eric? (Astute readers may recognize one Robert J. “Raging Rob” Kinnison in the reply. He’s the guy who likes to tell people to put dicks in their mouths and shut up.) Read more on Gun Nuts Just Want Mom’s Address To Say Howdy, Probably…
  grab a rifle and stand a post

Ammosexuals Exploit Charlie Hebdo Massacre For Media Attention And Profit

Gollum will stops you from getting the preciouses.
If there is anything your more vocal ammosexuals hate, it’s anyone who calls for gun control laws in the immediate aftermath of a mass shooting. It’s too soon, they will cry. How dare you make this political before the bodies are cold, they will whine. Way to stand on the bodies of dead children to advance your agenda, gun-grabbers, they will derp. Read more on Ammosexuals Exploit Charlie Hebdo Massacre For Media Attention And Profit…
  second amendment solutions

Open Carry Nuts Yell Nonsense At Texas State Rep, Because That Is Kind Of Their Thing

THE SETUP: A group in Texas called Open Carry Tarrant County feels very affectionately toward guns and certain Amendments. They also like HB195 (“the Texas Constitutional Carry Act of 2015″), a bill before the Texas legislature that would do two main things: Remove the requirement that Texans obtain a permit to carry a concealed handgun, and permit any legally sober Texan to carry a handgun, either concealed or openly upon their corpus, pretty much anywhere except churches, prisons, sporting events, hospitals, saloons, amusement parks, and government meetings. So Open Carry Tarrant County assembled to do a little lobbying for HB195 at the State House! Read more on Open Carry Nuts Yell Nonsense At Texas State Rep, Because That Is Kind Of Their Thing…
  news of the weird

South Carolina Republican Wants To Take Guns From Lady-Beaters. No, Seriously.

Us, right now.
Hey there South Carolina, birthplace of the Late Unpleasantness, state that gave Newt Gingrich his sole primary victory in 2012, and home base of this asshole. What crazy shenanigans are you up to now? Oh, just trying to pass a bill that would make it illegal for domestic abusers to own guns. Ha ha, you impetuous hicks, you—wait, what? That sounds like a sane and reasonable idea. What in the hell? Read more on South Carolina Republican Wants To Take Guns From Lady-Beaters. No, Seriously….
  history is written by the inept

Conservatives Continue Rewriting History, Because They Are Dumb

And no, the London Underground was not a political movement.
Oh conservatives, you and your wacky knowledge of American history. Where would we be without it? (We would be, collectively as a nation, much better-educated.) We always enjoy remembering, for example, that Thanksgiving celebrates the Pilgrims’ victory over the scourge of socialism, which everyone knows they practiced 200 years before the birth of Karl Marx. Thanks, Professor Limbaugh. Read more on Conservatives Continue Rewriting History, Because They Are Dumb…
  Freedom's just another word for no one left to shoot

Responsible Open-Carry Advocate Shot Up Her Family. We Guess They Must Have Been Bad

Hey, you know who else wanted to carry his gun everywhere?
Hey there, Open Carry Tarrant County! How is your campaign to convince everyone that you are all responsible gun owners who can be trusted to tote around lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of firearms without popping off and shooting people going? Read more on Responsible Open-Carry Advocate Shot Up Her Family. We Guess They Must Have Been Bad…
  wonkette world o' books

Clip & Save! Your Handy Wonkette Review Of (Part Of) Dana Loesch’s New ‘Book’

An armed society of intelligent cats is a polite society of intelligent cats.
We were planning to review for your enjoyment Amazon’s free preview of Dana Loesch’s new book-like substance, Hands Off My Gun, because who doesn’t want to spend a nice afternoon slogging through a piece of writing that is one step removed from the crude etchings some Neanderthal left on the wall of a cave ten thousand years ago. It would be impossible to be more generous than that to Dana even if we didn’t already think she is an insane ball of white-hot derp. Read more on Clip & Save! Your Handy Wonkette Review Of (Part Of) Dana Loesch’s New ‘Book’…
  lectures from the schoolmarm

Peggy Noonan’s Dead Aunt Is Smarter Than You

Another drinkie-poo? Are you really asking me that?
Graciousness! A lost art in America, Peggy Noonan mused to herself as she wandered the marbled halls of her Upper East Side manse with a pitcher of gin-and-NyQuil martinis in one hand and her Aunt Mary’s framed Ellis Island health card in the other. The card had notches in it to indicate that Aunt Mary had passed the examination of a shipboard doctor every day during her passage across the ocean to America in 1909, back when the country feared the dirty plagues carried by the filthy Irish from their home counties of Cork or Dork or Fie-de-Horsecow, or wherever. In America, Aunt Mary had pinned the card to her coat and worn it everywhere to let her new countrymen know that she was not one of those Irish, but a clean and (of course) gracious woman who would not infect anyone with potato blight. Read more on Peggy Noonan’s Dead Aunt Is Smarter Than You…
  Your Morning Maddow

Rachel Maddow: Good For You, Washington State, You’re 50% Smarter Now (Video)

It's really quite simple. Or should be.
Rachel Maddow is delighted — and so are we, because happy Rachel = Happy us — that in the recent Scottish independence referendum, small but substantial numbers of ballots had to be thrown out because they had both “Yes” and “No” marked on the simplest question ever put on a nationwide referendum: “Should Scotland be an independent country?” This was too much complexity for some folks, apparently. Read more on Rachel Maddow: Good For You, Washington State, You’re 50% Smarter Now (Video)…