Albert “Al” Gore Junior, Jr. — the black sheep of the over-achieving Family Gore — apparently pled guilty to have marijuana and some unprescribed prescription pills with him while setting the new land-speed record for a stupid Prius. But because he’s a rich white kid, the judge says Gore can actually withdraw the plea and just go to rehab for a while. So he can come back and be “sentenced” in February and all will be forgiven. Yay, justice for the elite! MORE »

We can’t even remember what this particular dude did — Abramoff something, bribes, etc. — but White House budget office guy David Safavian is off to federal prison for a year and a half. MORE »