Tag: gubernatorial

Ted Nugent Will Poop On Wendy Davis Like She Is His Underwear In The Vietnam Draft

We don’t know much about Texas politics, and we don’t want to. But it strikes us as maybe a bit desperate of Republican gubernatorial candidate Greg Abbott to be campaigning with Ted Nugent, the terminally conservative guitar man of...

Meg Whitman’s Illegal Mexican Housekeeper Was Illegal, Mexican

Gloria Allred, one of those high-profile controversial lawyer people, shoved Meg Whitman's former illegal immigrant housekeeper into the limelight today, because now is a pretty good time to do that. Nicky Diaz–Santillan worked for Whitman for nine illegal years,...

Tom Tancredo Comforts Olds About Dan Maes’ Evilness

As Weigel notes, this woman doesn't actually say what Colorado Republican gubernatorial candidate Dan Maes did to her, or even who she is. Did Maes steal her Social Security checks and then rape her, or did he rape her...

Rick Scott Wins Contest To Be First Candidate To Cut Mosque Ad, Does Hilarious Pagels Impression

By the voice and cadence and crazy words coming out of his mouth about things that have nothing to do with being governor of Florida, you would think Florida gubernatorial candidate Rick Scott is a dim paranoid schizophrenic like...

Deval Patrick Shouts At Opponent To Take Down Photo of Nice Lady With Obama-Hitler T-Shirt

It turns out that you people still eat photos of things that compare Obama to Hitler up, so Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick, in an epic quest for his own pageviewz, has noted that his opponent Charles D. Baker had...

Basil Marceaux’s Exploiters Staged a Debate, and It Made Lincoln-Douglas Look Like a Conversation Between Two Retarded Baby Pandas

THERE HAVE BEEN GREAT MOMENTS IN THE HISTORY OF AMERICAN RHETORIC. Yet there has been only one occasion of pure, unadulterated genius. That's what happened last night: a debate staged between the Internet's favorite Tennessee gubernatorial candidate, Basil Marceaux,...

The Basil Marceaux Has Become SELF-AWARE, Is No Longer That Fun

Since we introduced you to your 2010 election boyfriend, Basil Marceaux, the man and his opposition to traffic-stop slavery have achieved virulence here on the Internets. Basil's infamous local news broadcast introduction to voters has shown up and been...

Tom Tancredo Running To Be John Elway of Colorado Government

After threatening hilariously last week, former Republican presidential candidate and very current birther / Muslin-hater Tom Tancredo has finally announced that he is indeed running for governor of Colorado, home of mile-high testicle oysters and the Broncos foot ball...

One of Basil Marceaux’s Leading Opponents, Zach Wamp, Would Like To Secede Maybe

Congressman Zach Wamp is locked in a three-way battle for the Republican nomination for Tennessee governor (though it will ultimately go to a fourth candidate, Basil Marceaux), and so to give himself an edge he has resorted to the...

‘Crazy Man James’ Is Heating Up Basil Marceaux’s Gubernatorial Race

Tips have been streaming in today to find "America's Next Top Basil Marceaux," and it appears the most worthy contestant just happens to be running against Basil Marceaux himself. "Crazy Man" James Reesor, as he calls himself, is an...