Tag Archives: grumpy old men

  all the nudes that's fit to sprint

With (Debatable) ‘Naked/Nekkid’ Distinction, Alan Simpson Completes Transformation Into Cartoon Character

This is the sort of thing that gets a blogger through a Tuesday, it really is: When retired Senator Alan Simpson got a call from a Des Moines Register reporter, he asked for a moment to get ready for the interview because he was “stark nekkid.” “Do you know the difference between naked and nekkid?” he asked The Des Moines Register when he returned to the telephone interview Monday. “If you’re naked, you don’t have any clothes on, but if you’re nekkid you don’t have any clothes on but you’re up to something.” We are convinced that Alan Simpson is working very hard on actually becoming Abraham J. “Grampa” Simpson. He may as well dye his skin bright yellow, though we won’t insist that he have surgery to remove one finger on each hand, because dedication to cosplay only goes so far. On the Standard Scale of Old Man Stereotypes, Sen. Simpson has just upped his status from “codger” to “coot.” (Mind you, we do not mean to imply this is a bad thing. Like Calvin, Yr Doktor Zoom looks forward to the day when he can “putter around.”) Read more on With (Debatable) ‘Naked/Nekkid’ Distinction, Alan Simpson Completes Transformation Into Cartoon Character…
  the love that dare not speak its name

When One Senator Loves Two Other Senators Very Much: The Lindsey Graham Story

Guess what? It is a new day, so it is time to talk about Lindsey Graham again. We will get to write about this until the end of time, apparently. This poses a problem for yr Wonkette because there are only so many old-timey gay ads we can use in stories about him. Fortunately, there is no dearth of pictures of Lindsey Graham looking fetchingly butch so we’re OK for a while. (Lowly not-editor’s note: isn’t that picture terrifying at that size???) The Senate’s most macho closeted Southerner went on Piers Morgan last night to talk about gay marriage, along with grumpy old men (and unrequited love interests of Lindsey Graham) John McCain and Joe Lieberman, because why not? We’ve watched all painful five minutes of this Huey, Dewey and Louie show so you don’t have to. Thank us later. Read more on When One Senator Loves Two Other Senators Very Much: The Lindsey Graham Story…
 

Rage-Filled Larry King’s Little League Rant!

CNN host Larry King, the only man in America older than John McCain, has a 9-year-old son who plays Little League baseball in Beverly Hills. And because Larry King grew up back when the sport was called “stickball” and involved tossing around a shrunken pig’s bladder stuffed with India ink, lignum vitae, and torn drafts of the Constitution, he is an Expert who coaches his son’s team. It appears that Coach King didn’t take his mood-control pills the other day, because he flew into a rage at an umpire! Read more on Rage-Filled Larry King’s Little League Rant!…
 

HOUSE REPUBLICANS STOMP OUT OF CONGRESS, NOBODY CARES: Hey, a whole bunch of GOP representatives angrily walked out of the House this afternoon because they’re so angry about how Josh Bolten and Harriet Miers were finally held in contempt of Congress for all their many crimes against America, God and Nature. Happy angry Valentine’s Day, children! [CNN] Read more on …
 

Florida Retirement: Liveblogging the GOP Debate, Part II

The GOP candidates spent about three minutes on Iraq. Remember that place, where we sort of had those problems? Well Ron Paul is the only guy who will say what Dennis Kucinich said — and it’s completely true, of course, but you can’t win an election in America by bitching about a failed war. (Ask John Kerry. Or George McGovern.) And that’s why Part II of this debate is all about giving things to old people! Read more on Florida Retirement: Liveblogging the GOP Debate, Part II…