Tag Archives: grover norquist

  grumpy old men

Mean Old Alan Simpson Not Done Yelling At Republicans

Here is the thing about the newest RINO, former Alan Simpson: back when he was Wyoming’s lone Congressman and then its senator, he was about as conservative as Republicans got — save a Jesse Helms here and an old Strom there. It’s not like he was ever Linc Chaffee, you dig? And now he’s so old and mean to the poor GOP, calling them out for being batshit aggressive and (simultaneously) giant pussies afraid of Grover Norquist. He’s a fun get, is what we’re saying. [NewsBusters] Read more on Mean Old Alan Simpson Not Done Yelling At Republicans…
  and i did not speak up

Grover Norquist: Why Are All These Democrat Nazis Holocausting Poor Billionaire Eduardo Saverin?

Poor Eduardo Saverin! All he wanted to do was renounce his American citizenship, coincidentally shortly before a big honkin’ tax bill came due from his Facebook public offering or something (we don’t know, it was all the news there was on Friday, which brought our cherished Internet to a dumb screeching halt). And then mean old New York Senator Chuck Schumer targeted him with the delightful Ex-PATRIOT Act, which would ding poor Mr. Severin for 30 percent of his income! That is double the rate that is supposed to be paid by the wealthy, as a reward for them creating your jobs. (You do all work in yacht sales, right? Or yacht construction, or yacht redecorating, or yacht skippering, or yacht insurance fraud?) And doubling the tax rate, so that it is equal to what your slob brother-in-law pays on his unemployment check? That is punishing them for their success! Everybody knows that! But did you also know it’s what the NAZIS did? That’s right, anti-tax hero Grover Norquist says this Ex-PATRIOT bill is the worst thing since the Holocaust, and we know six million Jews who would totally agree! Read more on Grover Norquist: Why Are All These Democrat Nazis Holocausting Poor Billionaire Eduardo Saverin?…
  gifzette daily briefing

Jobs Report Slightly Less Awful, Democrats About to Beat GOP For Once

NEW YORK—Big news this morning out of the Bureau of Labor Statistics: the unemployment rate dropped! Like, a lot! People without jobs are now at the lowest number they’ve been at since six months or so after the economy fell off a cliff (which, it should be noted, still remains at an astoundingly high 13.3 million people without jobs). Read more on Jobs Report Slightly Less Awful, Democrats About to Beat GOP For Once…
  Secret Half-Muslin

Wingnut Anti-Tax Hero Grover Norquist Actually Muslim Extremist?

It was a long, long reign of terror. But slowly, and at long last, real conservatives are coming to understand the true identity of anti-tax Republican hero Grover H. Norquist: He’s a dangerous Muslim extremist! Important wingnut Internet Newspaper World Net Daily broke the news about the right-wing heartthrob, and now teabaggers nationwide are expected to quit supporting Norquist’s anti-tax policies and probably join the #Occupy Wall Streeters …. anything to avoid the creeping Shariah that is always creeping up the wingnuts’ legs and making them feel all tingly. Read more on Wingnut Anti-Tax Hero Grover Norquist Actually Muslim Extremist?…
  cpac is weird

Ha Ha Ha, It’s A Funny Joke About Joe Stack At CPAC

Here is President-Viceroy Sir Buttfuckington of Human Events introducing his best friend in history, Grover Norquist, who has been so edgy about his difficult life recently and could very well be planning to blow up his own Austin IRS building in the near future, ha ha ha. Good thing that terrorist yesterday was white and we can make jokes about it, 9/11 having killed irony and such like. [YouTube] Read more on Ha Ha Ha, It’s A Funny Joke About Joe Stack At CPAC…
  endorsements

Grover Norquist Hearts John McCain

Poor old John McCain is having a hard time these days, now that his party has been taken over by nativist ignoramus lunatics who have no respect for an ancient WAR HERO who once teamed up with a liberal Jew to take away Americans’ most precious freedom: the freedom to let Saudi corporations run political ads during the Super Bowl. McCain faces two (2) primary opponents who are always calling him a communist hippie, which has forced him to pretend to be an actual conservative. Read more on Grover Norquist Hearts John McCain…
  ...go on?

Politico Gets The Scoop On DC’s Top Masturbation Material

We’re a day late to this one and have no time for long, meandering first paragraphs about nothing. Here’s the deal: The Politico has written a pornographic feature about how it wants to fuck Peter Orszag, Grover Norquist, Christopher Hitchens, Chuck Todd, Rahm Emanuel, Eric Cantor, and Dr. Congressman Ron Paul, in that order, maybe. Read more on Politico Gets The Scoop On DC’s Top Masturbation Material…
  what the youths are up to

Young Conservatives: They’re Young, And Conservative, &c.

Perhaps in honor of CPAC, but with no mention of CPAC at all, the Washington Post has run a delightful “color piece” this morning about what it’s for young Republican hatchlings looking for work in Washington, where they are no longer welcome. Basically there are about seven of these people, total, all gaming for one position at Grover Norquist’s tax place. Let us learn more about these out-of-luck patriots, by block-quoting a few of the funny things they say. Read more on Young Conservatives: They’re Young, And Conservative, &c….
 

Beyond the Valley of the Condi Veep Rumors

America’s Princess Diplobot had a busy end of March: She celebrated 4,000 troop deaths in Iraq, reminisced about slavery, and reignited vice presidential rumors all by herself, by doing nothing more than talking to a friendly bear. Way to go, girl! Catch up with Condi after the jump! Read more on Beyond the Valley of the Condi Veep Rumors…
 

Grover Norquist Hired Illegal Alien For Back-Breaking Lobbyist Work

As if Americans didn’t have enough trouble with The Illegals coming up from Mexico to take all of our high-paying lettuce-picking jobs, there’s a new menace on the horizon. It comes from the lost pirate nation of Australia, which is sending a flood of lobbyists over our borders and depriving many hard-working Americans of the right to bribe Congress for a living. Read more on Grover Norquist Hired Illegal Alien For Back-Breaking Lobbyist Work…
 

Tough S.O.B.s

This week, Dave Chapelle, Carl Levin, Stephanie Herseth Sandlin, Grover Norquist, Margaret Spellings, Ann Gillespie, Rusty, Chris Matthews and Masi Oka were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump. Read more on Tough S.O.B.s…
 

‘The Onion’ DC Reception

As you may have heard, The Onion now has a DC edition. And because one party celebrating this wasn’t nearly enough, they threw another one last Wednesday. This one was a slightly classier occasion, with a more exclusive guest list and much classier venue: the Folger Shakespeare Library. Read more on ‘The Onion’ DC Reception…
 

Rumors On The Internets: The Enemy of My Enemy Is a Rat Bastard

* Conservative anger orgy generates new things to hate at a grueling pace. [The Gaggle] * Grover Norquist is still belly-dancing and wants his fellow tax-crusaders to do the same. [Think Progress] * It’s acceptable to tolerate Rick Santorum for however long he’s talking smack about McCain. [The Swamp] * Sharon Stone is desperate enough to play Valerie Plame in what will surely be the most boring movie of whatever year it gets released. [Variety] * Where they know Biden best, they like him least. [Political Wire] * Barry Hussein: advancing left-of-Stalin policies since 2004. [MoJo] * The many sins of Keith Olbermann will now go unheralded. [Olbermann Watch] * Just not perky enough Katie, just not perky enough. [On Tap] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: The Enemy of My Enemy Is a Rat Bastard…
 

Wonk’d: Crispy Twister Sandwich is Its Own Happy Ending

Those interested in the commuting, eating, and theater habits of John Bolton , Evan Bayh, Grover Norquist, and Sam Donaldson will find this week’s Wonk’d to their taste. Those more interested in the handjob “Tucker Carlson” got in a KFC bathroom from one of DC’s famous tranny hookers will also be well served by reading on. Read more on Wonk’d: Crispy Twister Sandwich is Its Own Happy Ending…
 

Breakfast With the GOP Powerbrokers

Looking for a Friday diversion? Have some highlights from last Wednesday’s Grover Norquist breakfast meeting: * Tony Snow: “The Iranian people are more pro American than any American university faculty.” * Slap-fight between Snow and Rep. Dana Rohrbacher. Dana sez Bush “has burned this bridge with me” regarding immigration, accuses administration of having a “secret agenda.” * Snow: “You’ve got an attitude that is so poisonous to the administration.” * Senator Jim Inhofe to his staff: “What’s my website again?” Read more on Breakfast With the GOP Powerbrokers…
 

Wonk’d: Yglesias Don’t Play That

Bold facers display their blithe indifference to the common man in this week’s Wonk’d as Alan Greenspan laughs uproariously at the unsuspecting pawns in Borat, Bill Clinton ignores dead bodies in the street, and fey Karl Rove won’t even give a guy a courtesy nod. James Baker still keeps it real by hanging at bars – but only if they’re really classy. At least there’s always Marion Barry, who’s hip to the hot spots, and down with the cool styles. All these celebrity drinking habits, plus Grover Norquist reduced to buying last season’s irregular suits off the rack, after the jump. Read more on Wonk’d: Yglesias Don’t Play That…