grover norquist
Horrible Woman Too Horrible To Attend Conference Of Horrible People
If you’ve noticed the acrid smell of gelled hair burning today, that’s the scent of the conservative world en fuego. The battle for the hearts and minds of the worst Americans is on, and it pits the terrible against the even more terrible. At the center of the fight is Pamela Geller, who can most [...]
Senator Mike Lee Will Protect Poors By Protecting The Rich
Have you heard of Senator Mike Lee? Neither have we, all of these rich white guys look alike to us because we are reverse racist/sexists. Anyway, he has made it his business to stand out among the sea of white male GOP senators by going on Mike Huckabee’s radio show and something extra stupid (well, [...]
Grover Norquist In Denial Over Breakup With Cheating GOP
Grover Norquist, an anti-tax crusader who is definitely totally also a Muslim, first sanctified the union between Congressional Republicans and himself with the Taxpayer Protection Pledge in 1986. It has been, for the most part, a harmonious relationship grounded by a mutual desire to prevent a few percentage points of income from being funneled to [...]
Mean Old Alan Simpson Not Done Yelling At Republicans
Here is the thing about the newest RINO, former Alan Simpson: back when he was Wyoming’s lone Congressman and then its senator, he was about as conservative as Republicans got — save a Jesse Helms here and an old Strom there. It’s not like he was ever Linc Chaffee, you dig? And now he’s so [...]
Grover Norquist: Why Are All These Democrat Nazis Holocausting Poor Billionaire Eduardo Saverin?
Poor Eduardo Saverin! All he wanted to do was renounce his American citizenship, coincidentally shortly before a big honkin’ tax bill came due from his Facebook public offering or something (we don’t know, it was all the news there was on Friday, which brought our cherished Internet to a dumb screeching halt). And then mean [...]
Jobs Report Slightly Less Awful, Democrats About to Beat GOP For Once
NEW YORK—Big news this morning out of the Bureau of Labor Statistics: the unemployment rate dropped! Like, a lot! People without jobs are now at the lowest number they’ve been at since six months or so after the economy fell off a cliff (which, it should be noted, still remains at an astoundingly high 13.3 [...]
Wingnut Anti-Tax Hero Grover Norquist Actually Muslim Extremist?
It was a long, long reign of terror. But slowly, and at long last, real conservatives are coming to understand the true identity of anti-tax Republican hero Grover H. Norquist: He’s a dangerous Muslim extremist! Important wingnut Internet Newspaper World Net Daily broke the news about the right-wing heartthrob, and now teabaggers nationwide are expected [...]
Ha Ha Ha, It’s A Funny Joke About Joe Stack At CPAC
Here is President-Viceroy Sir Buttfuckington of Human Events introducing his best friend in history, Grover Norquist, who has been so edgy about his difficult life recently and could very well be planning to blow up his own Austin IRS building in the near future, ha ha ha. Good thing that terrorist yesterday was white and [...]
Grover Norquist Hearts John McCain
Poor old John McCain is having a hard time these days, now that his party has been taken over by nativist ignoramus lunatics who have no respect for an ancient WAR HERO who once teamed up with a liberal Jew to take away Americans’ most precious freedom: the freedom to let Saudi corporations run political [...]
Politico Gets The Scoop On DC’s Top Masturbation Material
We’re a day late to this one and have no time for long, meandering first paragraphs about nothing. Here’s the deal: The Politico has written a pornographic feature about how it wants to fuck Peter Orszag, Grover Norquist, Christopher Hitchens, Chuck Todd, Rahm Emanuel, Eric Cantor, and Dr. Congressman Ron Paul, in that order, maybe.
Young Conservatives: They’re Young, And Conservative, &c.
Perhaps in honor of CPAC, but with no mention of CPAC at all, the Washington Post has run a delightful “color piece” this morning about what it’s for young Republican hatchlings looking for work in Washington, where they are no longer welcome. Basically there are about seven of these people, total, all gaming for one [...]
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