grover norquist

Reading Is For Snobs had a nice catch today with the Grover Norquist tweet you see above (above). Asked for his favorite Jimi Hendrix song, the anti-tax “small government” guru chose “Hey Joe” because it is pro-Second-Amendment and pro-family! (Pro-Second-Amendmenting your family, at any rate.) Let’s reacquaint ourselves with Hendrix’s pro-family message, shall we? Fuck […]

Poor Grover Norquist. He was so famous once! He was the guy who got nearly every Republican congressthing to sign a “no tax hikes ever” pledge, which turned out to actually mean “no tax hikes on rich people,” remember that? Remember how the Sourest Muppet was totally copacetic with letting the proles suffer the expiry […]

At a Tea Party meeting Monday night at a Lutheran church in Fort Worth, Texas Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst, who is running for re-election, called for the impeachment of President Barack Obama. This is now apparently something that lieutenant governors now have a say in. “This election is about protecting you and your freedoms, which […]

So apparently there is some Dante’s Inferno Ninth Circle hellscape called the “Funniest Celebrity” contest where “celebrities” (oh god is that term used loosely) make with the funny and give the money to charity. The most recent of these events happened last night in DC, and thank god we did not know about it in […]

Sometime back in the early 1990s, CNN left its standards at one of Ted Turner’s sheep ranches and has never bothered to so much as send out a couple of interns to bring them back. We can think of no other reason why the network ever employed fetid compost pile Dana Loesch as a commentator […]

If you’ve noticed the acrid smell of gelled hair burning today, that’s the scent of the conservative world en fuego. The battle for the hearts and minds of the worst Americans is on, and it pits the terrible against the even more terrible. At the center of the fight is Pamela Geller, who can most […]

Irrelevant short-bearded sadbear Grover Norquist is floundering in the surf. He is at an existential crossroads, with his life-defining tax pledge seeming to lose grip on legislators who are deciding in ever-growing numbers to abandon irresponsible platitudes in favor of actually legislating. “No taxes, EVARRRR!” sounds nice, but punishing legislators for compromising is rapidly appearing […]

Have you heard of Senator Mike Lee? Neither have we, all of these rich white guys look alike to us because we are reverse racist/sexists. Anyway, he has made it his business to stand out among the sea of white male GOP senators by going on Mike Huckabee’s radio show and something extra stupid (well, […]

Grover Norquist, an anti-tax crusader who is definitely totally also a Muslim, first sanctified the union between Congressional Republicans and himself with the Taxpayer Protection Pledge in 1986. It has been, for the most part, a harmonious relationship grounded by a mutual desire to prevent a few percentage points of income from being funneled to […]

Well, Wonketteers, we bring you some very depressing news: the petition for “all everyone to punch Grover Norquist in the dick” has been removed from We The People, the White House’s platform for direct democracy. This saddens us greatly for reasons that should be pretty obvious, do we really need to go into it because […]

Somalia — a scrappy, can-do failed state that is the platonic ideal for those who want to shrink government down to the size where they can drown it in the bathtub — is not taking it lying down that the US has offered $7 million for the location of this dude Ahmed Abdi Aw-Mohamed and […]

Here is the thing about the newest RINO, former Alan Simpson: back when he was Wyoming’s lone Congressman and then its senator, he was about as conservative as Republicans got — save a Jesse Helms here and an old Strom there. It’s not like he was ever Linc Chaffee, you dig? And now he’s so […]

Poor Eduardo Saverin! All he wanted to do was renounce his American citizenship, coincidentally shortly before a big honkin’ tax bill came due from his Facebook public offering or something (we don’t know, it was all the news there was on Friday, which brought our cherished Internet to a dumb screeching halt). And then mean […]

NEW YORK—Big news this morning out of the Bureau of Labor Statistics: the unemployment rate dropped! Like, a lot! People without jobs are now at the lowest number they’ve been at since six months or so after the economy fell off a cliff (which, it should be noted, still remains at an astoundingly high 13.3 […]

It was a long, long reign of terror. But slowly, and at long last, real conservatives are coming to understand the true identity of anti-tax Republican hero Grover H. Norquist: He’s a dangerous Muslim extremist! Important wingnut Internet Newspaper World Net Daily broke the news about the right-wing heartthrob, and now teabaggers nationwide are expected […]