• May 27, 2012

gross

By the Comics Curmudgeon What basic human impulse motivates the men and women who stride the corridors of power in our nation’s capital? Is it a desire to advance the interests of their nation? An urge to mold the government to reflect their political ideology? Do they wish to help their fellow citizens? Is it [...]

Mormon crickets: If you live, say, anywhere in the American West, you know these horrifying animals as a persistent cannibal scourge that can form a phalanx a mile across and two miles long, marching through the desert in search of food. If you are a senator “from” Arizona who grew up in Virginia and spent [...]

James Carville and Paul Begala: they are lurking in the shadows of our nation’s capital, hidden behind a mysterious “door,” and when you open that door they will jump out wearing Batman suits and rape you before they steal your kidneys. Find out how you can get in on this one-in-a-millennium sexytime action, after the [...]

EWWWWWWWWWW Oregon state legislators are filthy! All they talk about is blood and poop and semen. They wrote a bill about this stuff because they are gross. (Also, to protect Women.) Basically it says that before you give the nice lady a Cleveland Steamer, make sure she consents.

Let’s see, it’s … yep, it’s a day of the year, so that means another exciting “Help Hillary Pay Her Campaign Debt, With Your Money, Instead of, Say, the Clintons’ Fortune” email. Today’s spam comes from the “Actual Psychopathic Cajun,” Mary Matalin’s equally frightening spouse, James Carville. Just hit that DONATE button and fork over [...]

Early this morning, in Wonkette’s Daily Briefing, we had this to say about Blago’s replacement: “There’s a new Illinois governor, right? And he is ‘squeaky clean.’ So god only knows what kind of kinky stuff will bring this guy down.” Now we know: New Illinois Governor Pat Quinn is one of the original practitioners of [...]

And you all thought Washington wasn’t sexy: the office of ambitious young House Republican Whip Eric Cantor has confirmed to your Wonkette that instead of watching President Obama’s boring press conference last night like the rest of us dingbats, Cantor and a bipartisan group of legislators attended the Show Of The Century at downtown’s Verizon [...]

Everybody was so excited when what’s his name, Atlantic child wonder Ross Douthat, got Bill Kristol’s spot in the New York Times. We’re still kind of angry about the NYT taking away one of our easiest weekly comedy bits, so no hurrahs from your Wonkette. Also, this Ross Douthat does seem to be that most [...]

MAN does it suck to be in the Congressional minority leadership, especially when you’re the Republicans and you’ve got enraged Bitters calling your office and screaming the latest pitchfork-mob chants from Limbaugh every waking second, for no reason. The RedState blog has its own way of endlessly prodding: stunts. Hyper-masculine, masturbatory war stunts with PHOTOSHOP [...]

How could we let Thanksgiving end without sharing C.S.A. Colonel Saxby Chambliss and family’s warm regards? What a lovely surprise! And the children! They tell us to vote for their “Big Daddy,” gross. “Big Daddy” responds with a white-knuckled clench of the little girl’s breast. [YouTube]

Barack Obama publicly taking off his shirt in Hawaii — or as Reuters puts it in a headline, “Obama takes shirt off again” — is such a cheap topic of discussion that we had to make it, in fact, a topic of discussion, between yours truly and Sara K. Smith, in a chat, after the [...]

John McCain and his loser friends are all racists, which we know because they made an ad with Britney Spears and Paris Hilton but not Brad Pitt, Tiger Woods, David Beckham or The Police. Can you even believe it. Back here on Planet Earth, however, there actually was some pretty clear racial shit coming out [...]

“One more hit, baby. Just one more toke on the ole oil pipe. … Give me one more pop from that drill, please, baby. Just one more transfusion of that sweet offshore crude.” PUT THAT AWAY. [New York Times]

Get Railed By John McCain!

by Jim Newell  1:02 pm June 12, 2008

Hey ladies and gay men, have we got the sexy ticket for you today! Your lovers can now purchase McCain Condoms, a promotion by the Practice Safe Policy organization. Having trouble pleasing your partner? Well just throw on ol’ Johnny Latex, with an image of WALNUTS! emblazoned on your “McCock,” and… well… you will last [...]