groping
Head Of Air Force Sexual Assault Unit Loves To ALLEGEDLY Sexually Assault Strange Women In Parking Lots
Oh, Air Force. Oh, Lieutenant Colonel Jeffrey Krusinski, chief of the Air Force’s sexual assault prevention and response branch. You have been arrested for (ALLEGEDLY) getting drunk and grabbing the tits and ass of a woman you did not even know in a parking lot. And yet it is in fact your job to prevent [...]
SHOCKING Japanese TSA Video Exposes Moon-Groping Conspiracy
A brave iReporter in the land of Rapelay uploaded this shocking TSA grope video from one of their teevee comedy shows, which is basically SNL but funnier because it’s in moon-language and Tim Meadows is nowhere in sight. It’s a great distraction from preparing your fresh vending machine crabs for your Thanksgiving Cherry Blossom Hello-Kitty [...]
Happy National Opt-Out Day! Go Forth and Get Groped
National Opt-Out Day is finally here! Thousands of men, women, children and stray cats are expected to refuse a TSA naked cancer chamber scan, choosing instead to be gate raped by career failures. Chief TSA Pedobear “John Pistole” says that people who love getting cancer shouldn’t opt-out, because then you won’t get cancer and also [...]
Groping Locales Sexier Than the Porno-Cancer Scanners
Maybe you’re not the type of person who enjoys the groping supplied by the porno-cancer scanners or its radiation-free alternative, the hot and heavy pat down. Maybe you reserve the look-y looks at your genitals for the nice people you meet at crowded, dark bars, as opposed to the TSA agents who come after you [...]
Joe Miller Still Suing Alaska For Not Letting Him Win
Lisa Murkowski leads bearded fraud Joe Miller by more than 1,700 votes, and there are still thousands of write-in ballots that haven’t even been counted yet, ergo: Lisa Murkowski totally won, suck a fat one and choke on it, Joe Miller! But facts are stupid things invented by people who didn’t go to Yale Law [...]
Ben Nelson Is 100% Democrat, Except When It Comes To Voting For Things
Good ol’ Ben Nelson is liberal America’s favorite Democrat to hate, when they aren’t hating semi-Democrat Joe Lieberman for general douchebaggery, or Obama for failing at everything they hoped for him all the time. Well, did you think that maybe Ben Nelson is sick of you guys, too? Tired of all your carping about how [...]
Who Groped David Brooks?
Even though we attended The Week‘s Opinion Awards with David Brooks a few months back and very much looked forward to making pleasant conversation with him over the lobster thermidor, we got stuck in the back with some old gents who did not believe anybody could blog “for a living.” But if we had sat [...]
Chelsea Clinton Groped By Lesbians
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