Tag: grifters

Would you buy a used car from this PAC?

‘Pro’ Bernie Sanders Fake Super PAC Spent All Your Twenty-Seven Dollarses At The Disco

Look, a post about Bernie Sanders and we are not even punching Bernie Sanders! HOORAY!
Portrait of the idiot in her natural surroundings.

Bristol Palin Shocked To Learn She Is A Idiot

Commenters, we need to ask you a question, and we PROMISE we will not get mad. Has somebody out there been doing some rogue, face-to-face guerilla Wonkette-ing? Because somebody marched right into the medical office where Bristol Palin works...

Everyone Is Laughing At That Poor Dumb Idiot, Indiana Gov. Mike Pence

The Indianapolis Star's Tuesday edition is a bit stunning, in that the entire front page is devoted to an editorial demanding that Indiana lawmakers "FIX THIS NOW." They are of course referring to the Fuck The Gays law, signed by...
Behind door number three is this bitch named Yvette, who isn't allowed at this gym anymore.

Butthurt Michigan Woman Sues Planet Fitness For Being Nice To Transgenders

Some weeks back, we had a Nice Time, about a Michigan lady, Yvette Cormier, who was bitching and moaning about the fact that her local Planet Fitness allows transgender people to use bathrooms and locker rooms that correspond to...
God loves you and he needs money!

Teevee Pastor Needs Most Luxurious Private Jet on the Planet, For Jesus

A televangelist literally named Dollar has been caught trying to score $65 million from his parishioners so that his ministry could buy a new private jet. That's "new" because it's meant to replace his old private jet. Pastor Creflo Dollar...

Grifty Gov. Bob McDonnell Hanging Out In Gay Priest’s Rectory

How much do we love the Bob McDonnell grift trial, currently underway in Richmond, Virginia, for giving us a break from August’s unrelentingly bad news? So very, very much. Thank you, Bob and Maureen McDonnell! We would even consider...

Guess How Much More Sarah Palin’s SarahPAC Spent On Consulting Than Candidates, Hint It Is ‘Twenty Times More’

Hey kids! Is your grifting game going a little sideways lately? Do you need to learn from the big girls? Then let us head over to OpenSecrets.org and check on what Sarah Palin's SarahPAC is up to lately, as...

Virginia Ex-Gov Bob McDonnell Indicted For Being The ‘Alleged,’ Whatever, Griftiest In All The Land

We hope former Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell enjoyed the ten days off since his term ended since he now will spend the immediate future trying to avoid a stretch in the pokey. That’s because old Grifter Bob and his...

Wingnut Wants Homeless Veterans To Stop Being Low-Lifes Milking Sympathy, Be Upstanding Like Him

Happy Veterans Day / Armistice Day / Kurt Vonnegut's birthday! Perhaps you have the day off of your "work," and are using your free time to trawl your Wonkette. (Don't forget to trawl HappyNiceTimePeople while you're at it, now...

Jesse Jackson Jr. Goes To Prison, Wonders If The Pacific Is As Blue As It Is In His Dreams

It will not be a very happy Rosh Hashanah in the home of Jesse Jackson as his son, Jesse Jackson Jr., was sentenced today to two and a half years in a federal prison for the crime of being...

Dave Weigel Tongue-Bathes Roger Ailes, Asks If He Was Gentle Enough

The few times we have ever paid attention to Dave Weigel, he struck us as a reasonably intelligent guy even if we don't agree with his politics. So maybe someone out there can tell us: did he hit his...

Sunday Nice Time: TV Minister/Doctor Who Sold ‘Cancer Cure’ Of Suntan Lotion And Beef Flavoring Going To So Much Prison, Hooray!

Christine Daniel is a minister and doctor (although, not, to our knowledge, a realtor, dentist, or vampire hunter) who just wanted to help the world beat cancer! She did this by going on Trinity Broadcast Network and selling a...

Oh No, Conservatives In Epic Twit-Fight Against Common Frauder Sarah Palin, And It Is All The Fault Of Your Wonket

We are sorry, conservatives, that you are all mad at Sarah Palin for spending 95 percent of her SarahPAC muneez on grifty consultants and "shipping and handling" and "overhead." We are sorry, because we are the ones who pointed...

Mitt Romney Grifted Your Yearly Salary In The Time It Takes To Read This Headline

One thing we have learned in the past few years of grifter politics is that rich people are way way better at grifting than poor slobs like us. You are probably just too fucking lazy to figure out how...

Weep, Ye Mighty, For Fallen Soldier ‘Joe’ The ‘Plumber’

There is not a reason in the world to click on the video above of fallen Wonkette hero "Joe" the "Plumber" flapping his gums at his election loss party, except to note his killer rags. Dude, you were running...

Sarah Palin Snubbed For Top Speaking Spot at Dairy Goods Meetup

National Free Lunch expert Sarah Palin has apparently accepted an exciting spot as some food industry lecturer at this year's "International Dairy Deli Bakery Association Seminar and Expo," sure. Complimentary donuts. But according to the hot speaker lineup spotted...