grifters
Dave Weigel Tongue-Bathes Roger Ailes, Asks If He Was Gentle Enough
The few times we have ever paid attention to Dave Weigel, he struck us as a reasonably intelligent guy even if we don’t agree with his politics. So maybe someone out there can tell us: did he hit his head on something recently? Take up smoking opium? Develop a brain cloud? Because there must be [...]
Sunday Nice Time: TV Minister/Doctor Who Sold ‘Cancer Cure’ Of Suntan Lotion And Beef Flavoring Going To So Much Prison, Hooray!
Christine Daniel is a minister and doctor (although, not, to our knowledge, a realtor, dentist, or vampire hunter) who just wanted to help the world beat cancer! She did this by going on Trinity Broadcast Network and selling a mixture of suntan oil and beef flavoring. To people with cancer. As a cure. For cancer. [...]
Oh No, Conservatives In Epic Twit-Fight Against Common Frauder Sarah Palin, And It Is All The Fault Of Your Wonket
We are sorry, conservatives, that you are all mad at Sarah Palin for spending 95 percent of her SarahPAC muneez on grifty consultants and “shipping and handling” and “overhead.” We are sorry, because we are the ones who pointed this out, which means we will be subpoenaed to testify in the doubtless totally amicable divorce. [...]
Mitt Romney Grifted Your Yearly Salary In The Time It Takes To Read This Headline
One thing we have learned in the past few years of grifter politics is that rich people are way way better at grifting than poor slobs like us. You are probably just too fucking lazy to figure out how to get someone to buy you $150,000 worth of clothes for a job you did not [...]
Weep, Ye Mighty, For Fallen Soldier ‘Joe’ The ‘Plumber’
There is not a reason in the world to click on the video above of fallen Wonkette hero “Joe” the “Plumber” flapping his gums at his election loss party, except to note his killer rags. Dude, you were running for Congress. You think the flannel might be a touch … less formal than the occasion [...]
Sarah Palin Snubbed For Top Speaking Spot at Dairy Goods Meetup
National Free Lunch expert Sarah Palin has apparently accepted an exciting spot as some food industry lecturer at this year’s “International Dairy Deli Bakery Association Seminar and Expo,” sure. Complimentary donuts. But according to the hot speaker lineup spotted by Wonkette baked-goods operative “Banana_bread,” Sarah Palin lost out for the top-billed spot to alleged racist [...]
YouTube Does Not Care for Herman Cain’s Bunny Snuff Film
Herman Cain is back again with a new video in which an adorable bunny symbolizing adorable small business is catapulted into the air and blasted to pieces by some NRA sociopath with a rifle, as part of Herman Cain’s ongoing series of snuff films starring small, defenseless animals (remember when the goldfish was tortured, how [...]
Herman Cain Tells CPAC To ‘Outsmart Stupid People Running America’
Didn’t you sort of feel like Herman Cain said he was just going out for a pack of smokes, and then we never heard from him again and somehow got stuck with his car note and a bunch of boring creepo ‘Washington insiders?’ Well, CAIN’S BACK, BABY. Just goes to show you can’t keep a [...]
Rick Perry Has Idea About Which Gov’t Officials Need a Pay Cut: Not Him
Rick Perry’s comprehensive new policy platform for “fixin’ shit” is just to slash Congress’ $174,000 annual paychecks in half and cut back on the time that Congress spends in Washington, as punishment for making everyone hate them. This is Rick Perry’s huge “solution” to everything according to his new campaign ad, an idea that has [...]
Nancy Pelosi Shamelessly Tries To Cash In On Occupy Wall Street
The Democratic Party is still not entirely sure what to do with this “Occupy Wall Street” stuff beyond allowing for a few cautious statements from one or another “liberal” member of Congress let out of the pen for a few minutes to say something to the effect of “it’s possible people might be somewhat fed [...]
Imbecile Sarah Palin Thinks Roger Ailes Doesn’t Own Her (He Does)
Thanksgiving hasn’t even happened yet and look, here already is a giant plate of half-putrefied “leftovers” to add to the compost bin: mutant overgrown toad wart Roger Ailes nearly (OH GOD, WHY NEARLY) evicted yammering reject Sarah Palin from his evil teevee space beams in an enraged fit right after she “announced” she was quitting [...]
Herman Cain Is Also Sexist Against Vegetables
As America prepares to give Newt Gingrich his turn at waterboarding its collective unconscious with streams of incessant nonsense the media will for some reason pretend to pay attention to for a couple weeks, men’s fashion zine GQ brings us this late-breaking SCOOP about nearly-forgotten idiot Herman Cain’s political platform on, uh, pizza toppings: “A [...]
Here Are The Hilariously Shlocky Herman Cain Ads From 2004!
We are a little weary of reading the 999 million reports about Herman Cain’s futile efforts to get his dementia-laden storylines about those sexual harassment allegations to line up, so let us escape together briefly, for laffs, in our queer solar-powered time machines back to when Herman Cain was losing his other attempt at political [...]
Michele Bachmann Sends Creepy Spam Promising To ‘Fleece’ Supporters
Alright you weirdos (we say it with love), here by popular demand of the zillion or so tipsters who were revolted enough by Michele Bachmann’s latest apparently irony-free email spam offer to “fleece” her supporters in exchange for money — funny how that works! — that you all forwarded it to us knowing we would [...]
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