Tag Archives: grift

  We Watch So You Don't Have To

The Fartknocker Report: Add China To List Of Countries Sarah Palin Can See From Her House

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented By Fartknocker
If you enjoyed the Inception-inspired editing featured in last week’s Fartknocker Report, you will be a sad panda today, because Sarah Palin’s back to her standard derpsplaining-into-the-camera format. She published five videos this week, which might make it seem like she put in a full work week. On closer inspection, however, Palin’s wearing the same jacket in two videos published two days apart, with a total run time of 10 whole minutes and 24 seconds. Both videos focus on Obama’s foreign policy failures, and we will bet our bottom Bitcoin she shot them both in the same sitting. We are really not joking about Palin running a terrifyingly efficient grift in the game. Read more on The Fartknocker Report: Add China To List Of Countries Sarah Palin Can See From Her House…
  Does Club Fed have a day spa?

Grifty Virginia Governor’s Wife Sentenced To Sleeping On Very Low Thread Counts In Prison

Nope, can't take the Ferrari to prison with you.
Ice Queen and former Virginia First Lady Maureen McDonnell brought single-digit temperatures with her to Richmond this morning for her sentencing hearing in the case of tobacco pills, unrequited love, and rides in a Ferrari that gripped the nation last summer. Federal Judge James Spencer sentenced her to 12 months and one day after a hearing featuring character witnesses and a brief appeal from McDonnell herself. The sentence is right in between the 18 months what the prosecution was asking for and the community service the defense wanted. Read more on Grifty Virginia Governor’s Wife Sentenced To Sleeping On Very Low Thread Counts In Prison…
  grift is a very big thought indeed

Ben Carson Shilled Scam AIDS And Cancer Cures For 10 Years, Will Be Your Next President Obvs

grift is a very big thought indeed
Just how much clownery do you need to completely obliterate the good will you built up from starting a foundation to do brain surgery for poor kids? How much pure nonsense does a trailblazing brain surgeon need to peddle to convince the world that he is venal and/or not very smart? Dr. Ben Carson, 2016 GOP presidential nomination hopeful/flirt, isn’t entirely sure, but being a student of the scientific method, he is apparently extremely determined to find out. Read more on Ben Carson Shilled Scam AIDS And Cancer Cures For 10 Years, Will Be Your Next President Obvs…
  kickstarter to shut these bitches up already jesus

Sarah Palin’s Brother Learning The Art Of The Sweet Sweet Grift

lol
We’ve had a lot of fun over the years laughing until we puked about how former half-term governor Sarah Palin loves to fleece rubes. (You and your family should probably check Grandma’s bank statements before you send her to the home.) But did you know grifting is an art you can learn? It’s true! Just ask Palin’s brother, Chuck Heath Jr., who has a kickstarter up for the fine and noble purpose of buying Chuck Heath Jr. some new camera equipment! Let’s see what Brotherquitter has to say! Read more on Sarah Palin’s Brother Learning The Art Of The Sweet Sweet Grift…
  From China With Love

Sheriff Joe Arpaio Allegedly Allows Chinese Hacker To Steal America’s Coolest Secrets

CRUSH
Sheriff Joe Arpaio (seen here crushing the testicles of an invisible immigrant) allegedly, we said allegedly, failed to report an alleged Chinese spy who infiltrated the Arizona Counter Terrorism [sic; seriously, Arizona, buy an AP style book] Information Center. That’s according to ProPublica and the Center for Investigative Reporting, but we heard about this through The Verge, so they get the linky. Grab a fresh cup of coffee, because this story gets deep in a hurry. Read more on Sheriff Joe Arpaio Allegedly Allows Chinese Hacker To Steal America’s Coolest Secrets…
  we're on a road to nowhere

Meet Alaska’s Airport And Harbor To Nowhere

What are you thankful for this holiday weekend? The re-election of the Muslin in the White House? That Ol’ Handsome Joe Biden is still driving his bitchin’ Camaro up and down Pennsylvania Avenue? That drunk Uncle Fred is behind bars awaiting trial on a DUI? Hookers and coke? The people of Akutan, Alaska, have much to be thankful for. Oh so very much. About $100 million reasons to be thankful! Or sort of not thankful, and annoyed! Either way! Read more on Meet Alaska’s Airport And Harbor To Nowhere…