Wonkette

* Heard on the Hill: Chaos at the Capitol as a crazy woman tries to take a cop’s gun and a bunch of suspicious packages are found…. Steve Cohen is totally screwing Cybill Shepard… “Wryly acknowledging his reputation as a playboy, former Rep. Harold Ford Jr. (D-Tenn.) assured Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley (D) that he has no designs on O’Malley’s teenage daughter.” Ok, WTF everyone… Barbara Boxer: Short! She needs to stand on a box to reach the mic! [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Celebrities, DC people attend another gala… Woman who wrote book about cancer to respectfully cash in on current popularity of the disease. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Those suspicious packages showed up as a bunch of congresspeople were trying to pray or something. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Phil Hare fell asleep during a congressional hearing and C-Span filmed the whole thing… Now we’re on to the “first 100 days” of the Dem congress… The Gridiron dinner won’t have the President and it’s being held somewhere new and no one will go. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: You excited for the Media Research Center’s annual “Media DisHonor Awards”? No? Why do you hate America? [Politico]

* Reliable Source: White House pastry chef leaves for Las Vegas. . . Press accidently catch a glimpse of Bush on his bike with “pink-and-blue socks”. . . Clintons took a hike in Rock Creek Park on Saturday. . . George Stephanopoulos seen barefoot in Glover Park. [WP]
* Under the Dome: Sen Jean Carnahan (D-Mo.) failed to pay taxes on her parking spot. [The Hill]
* Inside the Beltway: “Once-powerful lobbyist” seeks letters from friends to reduce jail time. [WT]
* Rush & Molloy: Sen. Obama “stole the show” at the Gridiron Dinner. Said Bush, “I want to do a joke on you, [but] give me something to work with… Mispronounce something!” [NYDN]
* Page Six: Top Clinton donors invited to $2,100 per person fundraiser hosted by Mark Patricof. [NYP]

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We were going to go to the Gridiron Dinner, but it was such a nice night out, we decided to give it a miss and drink on a rooftop instead. Oh, and it turns out bloggers aren’t invited. But we don’t feel too slighted to have missed the dinner, a glorified office Christmas party in which every year they rouse the surviving members of Carson’s writing staff and put them to work retrofitting hundred-year-old punchlines with torn-from-the-headlines topical references. MORE »