Tag: Greg Gutfeld

Unemployment Drops Again, Trump Has Good Economy To Wreck! Your Wonkagenda For Friday, December 2, 2016

Kellyanne Conway can't stop crying, Trump's big league illegal immigration problem, and Webster's requests more words. Your daily news brief!
This isn't about democracy, this is about politics. Which Democracy doesn't need.

Andrea Tantaros’s Lawsuit Against Fox News Is OMG WTF INSANE!

Bill O'Reilly's in there too. AND former Sen. Scott Brown. AND Dean Cain. AND AND AND AND AND!

Fox News Idiots Wish Fox News Idiots Weren’t So Mad At Fox News Idiots Right Now

Oh no, there is trouble right here in River City, by which we mean at Fox News! And it's all about that Donald Trump boy. SOME PEOPLE at Fox News think he's the bees tits, whereas OTHERS think he...
This is Hillary's 'Are you shitting me?' face. We saw it a lot.

Wingnuts So Sad Hillz Didn’t Admit She Ordered The Code Red In Benghazi

Following Hillary Clinton's epic ass-kicking performance during the Benghazi hearings, we received an assignment that we knew was going to hurt, but was necessary: watch Fox News to get a feel for how the hearings played in the Conservasphere,...
Why does anyone care about permafrost? You can always get a touch-up at the salon.

Fox News Tells Obama To Go Be A Weather Girl If He’s So Worried About Climate

Barack Obama may be visiting the Arctic this week to call attention to climate change -- even though self-appointed Alaska spokestwit Bristol Palin told him to stay away -- but Fox News is not impressed with a bunch of dumb stories...
This is what Greg Gutfeld looks like when he thinks he just made a point.

Fox News Jackass Greg Gutfeld Will Keep Fetuses In Wastebaskets Where They Belong

Yr Wonkette, as you know, is a pro-life mommyblog. HEAR US OUT. We're pro-life in the REAL, grown-up way, the one where abortion is legal, and women should have a right to do with their living bodies as they...
It's a good idea in Oregon, it's a good idea everywhere

Tyrant Hillary Clinton Will Haul All Americans Off To Voting Camps

Hillary Clinton pleasantly surprised the hell out of us Thursday by calling for every American to be automatically registered to vote at 18, following the lead of Oregon, which passed universal registration earlier this year. In a speech at Texas...
From 'Children's shows we never watched, Volume 3'

Fox Host To Grads: Want To Save The World? Go Work For Big Oil

It's Graduation Season, and time for all kinds of inspiring thoughts from Olds to Youngs, mostly aimed at telling the Youngs to not fuck things up as badly as the Olds did. One exception, of course, was Kurt Vonnegut,...
All terrorists are leftwing. That's just a given!

Fox News Can’t Remember Any Rightwing Terror Attacks. We’re Here To Help

Fox News's The Five had a little memory problem Monday, accusing the Department of Homeland Security of completely imagining that rightwing extremists pose any threat to U.S. Americans, because as we all know, the only real terrorists are the...
You're looking at a guy who knows cool

Fox News Thinker Greg Gutfeld: Stephen Colbert Would Be Nothing Without Us (And Our F**kups)

Following Stephen Colbert's big finale on the Colbert Report, the thought leaderers of Fox's The Five shared their thoughts on Colbert's sendoff. Dana Perino and Kimberly Guilfoyle thought it would have been a nice touch if Bill O'Reilly had...
If it keeps the terrorists from winning, it's still civic-minded.

Fox News: Young Women Should Go Find Sexxytimes Online And Leave Democracy To Grownups

Fox News hostroid Kimberly Guilfoyle said Tuesday that America would be a far better place if young women would just please stay home and go do their Twittergrams and Tindermatches instead of cluttering up our elections with all their...
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Ladies Flying Planes And Other Tales Of Terror

Yesterday on Fox’s The Five, Kimberly Guilfoyle gave a shout-out to Major Mariam Al Mansouri, the first female fighter pilot in the United Arab Emirates. Mansouri led her country’s contingent of military pilots that participated in bombing ISIS in...

Fox News Demands Putin Replace Pansy Dictator Obama, But Just For A Sexy Hot Minute

Good Lord, the adult diaper budget for the on-air personalities at Fox News must dwarf the GDP of your average mid-sized nation. Maybe Fox is even a front group for Depends the way the NRA is a front for...

Fox’s Katie Pavlich: Just Because I’m Scared Of Black People Doesn’t Make Me Racist

Poor Katie Pavlich is just sick and tired of all the racism out there, and on Fox's The Five Wednesday disagreed vehemently with the crazy notion that we all have prejudices. God knows she's not prejudiced, although sometimes she...

Fox Gives Ladies Their Own Talk Show, Guess What It Is About Pop Culture And ‘Relationships’

Fellas, do you ever feel as if there are just too many women in your life who will not stop with the yapping about stuff like that hussy Taylor Swift and liberals and “The Big Bang Theory” and liberals...

Return Of The Lucky Duckies: Fox’s Greg Gutfeld Wishes He Was Poor So He Could Live It Up

Hey, kids, remember when the Wall Street Journal started using the charming phrase "lucky duckies" to refer to those high-living Poors who don't pay any taxes at all, except for payroll taxes, sales taxes, Social Security tax, property...