If there’s one thing everybody can agree upon, it’s that the brave democracy protesters in Iran deserve at least our moral support, right? It’s not like it costs money or risks our safety to, say, put a “me too” green stripe on our dumb blogs, right? NO WRONG, IDIOTS, Ron Paul just cast the lone opposing vote on the harmless House Resolution 560, “Expressing support for all Iranian citizens who embrace the values of freedom, human rights, civil liberties, and rule of law, and for other purposes.” MORE »

Huzzah, it’s our very first entrant in the “show us a picture of Michelle Obama poisoning the White House fountain with Irish puke” contest! While this is not technically “taking a comical picture,” as Ken requested, we will accept it. Thank you to faithful commenter NoWireHangers for this horror show.

Who exorcist-puked in the White House fountain? Maybe nobody! Chicago street organizer Michelle Obama “ordered” the pretty fountain to be ruined in this gross way, because this is how Chicago people “celebrate” the Irish Plague, “Saint Patrick’s Day,” which is apparently today. SPECIAL CONTEST MISSION: Go take a comical picture of this, use props, make dumb faces, whatever, and send it to us, quickly, and the best pictures will be posted right here with a link to your livejournal or whatever. SPECIAL CONTEST PRIZE: Best Picture Taker wins a coveted Wonkette Operative t-shirt. Newell will bring it to your house tonight. [We Are Dead Serious]

Anyone who’s managed to score higher than “zero” on this thing is a golden god and should run the global economy. UPDATE: DAVE J. HAS THE SECRET. [EcoDriving USA]

A feature in yesterday’s Washington Post Food section very liberally suggests, with a garish math graphic as its weapon, that Americans should use Thanksgiving as an opporunity to learn about eating “green” and reducing one’s carbon footprint. Behold, the language of the new Obama-style post-socialism: “A holiday all about seasonal food presents a real opportunity to eat sustainably. But making the right choices is more complicated than you think. Should you buy local or organic? Or is what you eat — and how much — more important?” This would be an insanely mockable newspaper item if not for the fact that it’s so boring to read. Just look at the graphic! It’s all, “blah blah blah 92% blah fowl e=C0_2 Al Gore blah fart.” Fortunately, the National Review read it and has published a lengthy response, about the War on Thanksgiving. MORE »

The downtown Sheraton in Denver was handing out WOODEN key cards, made of WOOD, as part of the Democrats’ secret plan to embarrass themselves in front of the nation with their deliriously impractical solutions to such urgent problems as America’s overreliance on plastic hotel key cards. Of course these wooden key cards did not work right and clerks had to give people plastic cards so that they could actually get into their rooms. Next thing you know, we will be hearing that the DNC-endorsed woven hemp condoms for local courtesans weren’t such a hot idea either. [New York Sun]

Hey, what the hell? Here’s Hollywood’s “The Joker” showing off his sweet Chevy ride with a regular crappy Chevy V-8, which runs on Hydrogen gas, which is produced by these little solar panels, all of which produce no emissions beyond bong water, which Jack inhales. So what happened to this system, anyway? [YouTube via Cryptogon]

It appears the Democrats have come up with an absurdly constipated boondoggle of a convention that will show Americans, once again, exactly why they don’t like electing Democrats. From the massive expense to the terrible lack of planning to the weird diktat about frigging food colors, this whole thing confirms everyone’s worst suspicions about Democrats being spendthrift hippies with the souls of incompetent Soviet bureaucrats. The reporting on this clusterfuck reads like the paranoid scribblings of Rush Limbaugh on a three-day Oxycontin bender. Let’s review the ridiculousness together. MORE »

Remember how the liberals and environmentalists were freaking out, a few days ago, because the BLM wanted to stop accepting solar-energy applications for federal land in the southwest until maybe the environmental impact of the other 125 projects already submitted could be given the sort of environmental review the environmentalists generally believe is a good thing? Well, never mind. MORE »