• Eight soldiers were killed on Saturday in a region of Afghanistan that the U.S. was kinda already supposed to have left. [Washington Post]
• Obama has said NO THANK YOU to hanging out with the Dalai Lama. He will do this to impress his new popular friends, the Chinese, who hate the Dalai Lama like so much. [Washington Post]
• …and China will attempt to become better friends with North Korea. You see, they have communism in common! [Reuters]
• The socialists have won Greece’s national elections! Technically, now, Barack Obama is the first black president of Greece. [WSJ]
• October 25th is the big day for some U.N. inspectors, who will go to Iran and get to visit the newly un-secret underground weapons cave thing! [Los Angeles Times]
• Pay-per-minute telephone psychic Alan Greenspan says the following: unemployment will reach 10% in the third quarter, but the economy overall will grow 3%. [CNN]

Macedonia wants to join NATO, but it can’t unless it changes its name. You see, existing NATO member Greece also has a province called “Macedonia,” and it doesn’t want anyone to get confused. Last month a U.N. special negotiator put forward a list of five names that Macedonia might want to consider, but the country turned up its nose in horrified disgust. What were these terrible alternate names? MORE »

The votes are in! No, not in your silly American primary election; I’m talking about The Foreigns, who got one look at last week Malaysian sex tape scandal and voted with their cameras, genitals, and fists. “Yes!” they said, in their Foreign languages. “I too want to do titillating things on camera that will end my political career forever!” After the jump: The Foreigns do it live on TV and/or film, for your entertainment. MORE »

Tucson, Arizona news station KOLD has received an FBI alert warning Southern Arizona of an invasion by Iraqis. Shit! I thought Bush said we fight them over there so we don’t have to fight them here? This policy somehow doesn’t add up! MORE »

* Lawmakers follow through: everyone who said they intended to be against President Bush’s “new” Iraq plan seemingly still is. [WP, NYT]
* Weekend news shows to resemble shopping channel, if you’re in the market for a half-assed war plan. [USAT]
* US Embassy in Athens hit by bubble and squeak terrorists. [WP, NYT]
* Democrats get a mile high, chose Denver for 2008 convention. [WP, NYT]
* New stem cell bill gets House members ready to “booze up and riot.” [NYT]
* Christopher Dodd announces his last place Presidential run on last place radio show. [WP]
* Jews take over congress! [WP]
* White House gets around to thinking about maybe having trials for terror detainees. [NYT]

* DCist offers some ass-wiping pointers for the Media Matters men. We’ll probably have more to say about this tomorrow. For now, please read this — it’s some funny shit. And be sure to check out this comment. [DCist] MORE »