Tag Archives: greece

  Worst Honeymoon EVER

Sad Mississippi Lovebirds Just Wanted ISIS Honeymoon Of Their Dreams, Is That Wrong?

THOSE CRAZY KIDS!
THOSE CRAZY KIDS! KIDS THESE DAYS. These two crazy Mississippi kids, Jaelyn Delshaun Young and Muhammad Oka Dakhlalla, had it all, or so they thought. They were in love, they got married, they had planned to fake a honeymoon but instead go fight with ISIS in Syria, they picked out this cute little house on the outskirts of town with a white picket, WAIT WHAT? Why you gotta do ISIS, y’all? What about “the beach” or “France” or “oh fuck it, we’re poor, let’s just drive to Memphis for the weekend?” Ugh, you idiots: Read more on Sad Mississippi Lovebirds Just Wanted ISIS Honeymoon Of Their Dreams, Is That Wrong?…
  Here have some news n stuff

CNN EXCLUSIVE: Beware The Flag Of Radical Islamic Dildos And Buttplugs

While The Gays and their friends were priding through streets all over the world, CNN International assignment editor Lucy Pawle reported this shocking discovery at the Gay Pride in London, where she spotted a “quite distinctive man” with a quite distinctive flag: Read more on CNN EXCLUSIVE: Beware The Flag Of Radical Islamic Dildos And Buttplugs…
  You Got Your Church In My State!

Dumb Virginia County Can’t Stop Invoking Jesus, Must Pay $74,000, Ha Ha Ha

Take this gavel, and rap it in memory of me
In a court decision that surely must mean the end of Christianity forever, once again, a federal court ruled Friday that a Virginia county board of supervisors can’t start its meetings with explicitly Christian prayers. You astute Wonketteers who are in the know may find yourselves scratching your heads and saying, “But wait, didn’t the Supremes just rule last year that it was hunky-dory-mary-joseph-jebus for some town in New York to start its meetings with a double helping of Jesus-invoking and a side of Amen? And you would be right! Read more on Dumb Virginia County Can’t Stop Invoking Jesus, Must Pay $74,000, Ha Ha Ha…
  coming in on a wingnut and a prayer

Supreme Court Tells Towns They Can Pray To Jesus All Night Long

Happy news, America — your town councils can legally start meetings with prayers that are as full of Jebus as you want them to be! The SCOTUS ruled in a 5-4 decision that the town of Greece, New York, was not in violation of the First Amendment’s Establishment clause, even though all but a few of the prayers offered by the council’s guest chaplains were exclusively Christian. We’re pretty sure that there’s no way any other municipalities will take that sort of thing to extremes or anything. Why, yes, South Carolina, we are looking at you. Read more on Supreme Court Tells Towns They Can Pray To Jesus All Night Long…
  tree of liberty & cradle of democracy

Leaders Of Greek Neo-Fascist Party Arrested, May Be Sent To FEMA Camps

The Greek government has launched a crackdown on the neo-fascist Golden Dawn party, arresting its leader, three members of the Greek Parliament, and several other top members; they will be charged with forming a criminal organization. After Golden Dawn leader Nikos Michaloliakos was arrested, police said that three guns had been found in his home. Also arrested was party spokesman and MP Ilias Kasidiaris, who you may remember as the charmer who punched a communist party lady on TV. The group has also been implicated in “hundreds of attacks” on immigrants, gays, and leftists during the county’s economic crisis; the last straw appears to have been the September 18 murder of anti-fascist rapper Pavlos Fyssas by a Golden Dawn member. Following Michaloliakos’ arrest, members of Golden Dawn gathered in Athens to protest the crackdown, claiming that the Greek government was trying to silence them. You know, by not letting them have an armed revolt. Not that we’re making any comparisons to other groups that might be calling for the violent overthrow of an elected government or anything. Read more on Leaders Of Greek Neo-Fascist Party Arrested, May Be Sent To FEMA Camps…
  obamacare we dont need no stinkin obamacare

U.S. Is Number One at Being in 28th Place for Health Care!

America is Number One in everything. We are the bestest country on the goddam planet because we have huge dicks and trucknutz and guns everywhere and democracy and robot drones that kill whoever the fuck we want and Osama Bin Laden is Dead and GM is Alive and Lee Greenwood and bald eagles and Honey Boo Boo and purple mountains majesty and FUCK YEAH! So naturally we have the best health care in the world, too, right? Take it away, Mother Jones: A new study in JAMA … compares American health outcomes with those in other rich countries. Overall, we’re now in 28th place, sandwiched in between Chile and Poland. There is only one logical response: SUCK IT POLAND. Read more on U.S. Is Number One at Being in 28th Place for Health Care!…
  I hate Greek Nazis

Greek ‘Golden Dawn’ Neo-Nazi MP Slugs Little Girl, But On Accident

It is sort of comforting to know that we here in the US of A are not the only ones with far right-wing lunatics serving in elected office. (See, for example, this guy and this guy and this guy and this broad. We could go on, but there are not enough column inches on the whole internets to provide a full list.) Read more on Greek ‘Golden Dawn’ Neo-Nazi MP Slugs Little Girl, But On Accident…
  quiet riots

Angela Merkel Enjoys Traditional Greek Hospitality, Rage

Every crew of friends has its successful members and its fuck-ups. The latter can often be found on the former’s lovely Teutonic couch, sleeping off a long night of getting wasted on ouzo and freak-dancing to the music of Yanni. This is sort of exactly what is happening right now between Germany and Greece, two hardcore straight-up G’s who couldn’t be more different in their approach to fiscal responsibility. While Germany was once upon a time the meanest bitch in high school, she has matured into a lovely young woman who really has her head on straight. Unfortunately, Greece, which showed such amazing promise in nursery school, has degenerated into a hot mess, the kind of gal who stumbles into work two hours late wearing a spanakopita-stained outfit from the day before. Germany is all, “Yeah, you can crash with me, but you’re gonna have to help out around the house and be in by 10 each night” and Greece is all, “You don’t fuckin’ OWN ME! You think you’re better?” and Germany is like, “Noooo…I just, um…I think it’s time someone created some boundaries for you?” All this is just to say that Angie Merkel is in Greece, and the Greeks are not psyched. Read more on Angela Merkel Enjoys Traditional Greek Hospitality, Rage…
  eating your liver with a nice chianti

Around The World With Lloyd Dangle: How The European Debt Crisis Is Like Grease Through A Goose

(Paris) Ah, the enchantment –– the boulevards, the catacombs, the long lines of tourists, the little dogs and the charming messes they leave on the pavement. I’m here in The City of Light wearing my red-white-and-blue monster truck cap with the words “American Debt Crisis Observer” embroidered on it. In the sidewalk cafes I notice the French people shying away from me, due, obviously, to their deep embarrassment over the crisis and their inability to speak perfect English. I assure them that even though I’m visiting from the country most loved by God I’m not here to pass judgement. French people generally agree that the Greeks are irresponsible mouth-breathers who don’t like to work but love to spend the money they borrowed recklessly from well-intentioned banks (just like Floridians). So they deserve to have their minimum wage cut by 20%, their government workers fired by the thousands, their pensions raided, their small businesses bankrupted, and their suicide rate up 40%. Take that, lazy souvlaki eaters! Welcome to what we call the lesson of Wisconsin. Read more on Around The World With Lloyd Dangle: How The European Debt Crisis Is Like Grease Through A Goose…
  nazi best idea dude

Greek Neo-Nazi Politician Suing Woman For Making Him Punch Her on Live Television

A male Greek neo-Nazi politician slapped a female Greek communist politician on live television last week. We brought you the scintillating footage, which features brilliant insults like “you old commie” because Greece is so poor now that their politicians have to recycle insults they got on loan from America 70 years ago. It was disturbing footage, a sad window into Greek political discontent. We were saddened. While it’s not clear what criminal action is being taken, there is civil litigation moving forward in the case. Hold on a minute, people who assume this will be a rational development: In a brilliant attempt to save face and repair his reputation, the slapper, Ilias Kasidiaris, is suing his victims. Amazing! What spectacular crisis management skills he’s got. Somebody get Jerry Sandusky on the phone; he’s been doing this all wrong! Read more on Greek Neo-Nazi Politician Suing Woman For Making Him Punch Her on Live Television…
  oopsies

Neo-Nazi Greek Politician Beats On Lady Politician On Live TV (VIDEO)

Well, this is great. During a live television debate on Thursday between a bunch of Greek politicians (its broke citizens go to the broken polls on June 17), Ilias Kasidiaris, a spokesperson for and member of the terrifyingly named neo-Nazi party Golden Dawn, tossed a glass of water at a lady rival, Rena Dourou of the left-leaning Syriza party, THEN slapped another lady politician, Liana Kanelli of KKE, the communist party, twice. This after an exchange of insults including “you old commie!” (he to she) and “fascist!” (she to he). The bestest part of this is that it is ONLINE! The second best part is that the reason Kasidiaris attacked the women is because they were asking him about a 2007 mugging that he has been implicated in. The trial about that mugging is ongoing, but it’s safe to say, um, innocent until proven to be a violent freak on national television. Read more on Neo-Nazi Greek Politician Beats On Lady Politician On Live TV (VIDEO)…
  at least it's a freaking ethos

Greek Neo-Nazis Win 21 Seats, Charm Nation With Reminder It Is ‘Time To Fear’

While America’s been focusing this week on incredibly important issues like Rush Limbaugh’s induction into the Missouri Hall of Flame, Obama’s no-shi moment, how Obama’s gayness will be the end of him and how undercover bathhouse boy will save us from the gayz, and how gas prices are all Obama’s fault but not really but yes they are… we’ve been bizzy too, over here in Yore-up. Greek political parties failed to agree (for the fourth time) on a coalition government and announced they’re heading for yet another general election. Even this weekend’s coalition talks were close to impossible, because Alexis Tsipras (who is freaking handsome and should just win, OK?), the leader of the the Radical Left Coalition, Syriza, refused to sit at the same table with the neo-Nazi “Golden Dawn” party. Read more on Greek Neo-Nazis Win 21 Seats, Charm Nation With Reminder It Is ‘Time To Fear’…
  occupy 2012

2012: A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy As the Human World Breaks Apart

The modern idea that human civilization would collapse in 2012 supposedly goes back to another overextended American empire on its last legs, that of the Maya. But like so much wrong thinking now popular in today’s United States, this concept made its first impression on the nation’s nervous consciousness through the teevee screen. In Search Of, the syndicated paranormal program hosted by Leonard Nimoy, claimed that the Mesoamerican long count calendar came to an end on December 24, 2011. (That date has moved a year forward in today’s paranoid circles.) You are probably waiting for the “Ron Paul connection,” at this point, and it is this: According to Leonard Nimoy reading a script for a pseudoscience documentary series in 1977, the end of the Mayan calendar would bring a cataclysmic earthquake, the collapse of the dominant civilization, and the creation of an internationalist New World Order. Actual scholars of the ancient Mayan culture, however, believe the end of the calendar would bring not disaster, but a wonderful celebration. Who’s right? WHO WILL WIN? Read more on 2012: A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy As the Human World Breaks Apart…
  fourth horseman

Cops Now Hunting Escaped Zoo Monsters

How are things in the American Heartland this morning? Very terrible, according to this video news report from … a comedy blog? A superhero musical? No, it’s from the Associated Press. Read more on Cops Now Hunting Escaped Zoo Monsters…