greatest depression

BLOODY CAESARS FOR ALL!  2:20 pm July 23, 2009

HOORAY, WE’RE RICH AGAIN! RECESSION OVER … In Canada

by Ken Layne

Feeling a little fancy today? You should be! If you’re Canadian, we mean …. Because the Bank of Canada has announced the Horrible Recession is over, done, finished, kaput, était finie. But only in Canada, and only for Canadians. Dang. [Canada.com/Globe and Mail]

OUR FLOURISHING ECONOMY  1:13 pm October 2, 2008

Senate Bailout Doesn’t Actually Save Collapsing Economy

by Ken Layne

Hey, you half-million people seeking unemployment checks last month: Did you not hear that Congress and Hank Paulson are going to Save the Economy? And what about you Wall Street analysts finally admitting, today, that the United States is in a terrible recession? Did you forget that John McCain believes the fundamentals are strong?

ALL PROBLEMS SOLVED!  11:35 pm October 1, 2008

Brave Senate Saves Massive Gov’t Spending Bill

by Ken Layne

There were many frayed nerves Monday — about 777 frayed nerves, or more than $1 trillion in soiled panties — when the loopy House of Representatives voted against a giant government spending bill to help homeless Wall Street executives buy one of John McCain’s unwanted mansions. But everybody with money can rejoice again, because the [...]

WHOOPS  1:24 pm September 29, 2008

Global Capitalism Fails, Ends

by Ken Layne

Well, shit. Fun while it lasted, right? For us, anyways — the elites who had the MacBooks and iPhones and flat-screen teevees and cars and hot water and, uh, food. Pretty much sucked for the other 5 billion, but whatever, it’s all academic now. Ha, not really, because there will be no more academics. Just [...]

HOW WILL WALNUTS RUIN THIS?  9:00 pm September 26, 2008

Liveblogging the Barack vs. Obama Mississippi Massacre, Part I

by Ken Layne

Good lord, people, who even knew we would be doing this, tonight?! Just think, drinking and watching some crap on the teevee and maybe just cold layin’ down some blogs. Oh yeah right that is just the normal life in America every single day … or it was, before the Economy Collapsed. Anyway, who knows [...]

IT'S ON!  1:02 pm September 26, 2008

Coward McCain Will (Maybe?) Show Up Tonight, So Here’s Your Debate Drinking Game!

by Ken Layne

Whew, that was close. Goofy old national joke John “Walnuts!” McCain had threatened to skip tonight’s debate unless he, uh, solved the Financial Crisis. Luckily for us, the 500-year-old clown can’t “keep his word” for more than a few minutes, so of course he’ll be at the debate tonight, unless he changes his mind again, [...]

OUR FLOURISHING ECONOMY  11:20 am September 26, 2008

Barney Frank & Harry Reid Will Kill John McCain

by Ken Layne

Barney Frank is ANGRY, again, and John McCain better stay away from the portly House Financial Services Committee chairman. He says they’re all working with “serious Republicans” but that obviously means no McCain. Frank’s doing a live press conference, which we would liveblog, but we already did one of those this morning and it’s not [...]

WAIT WHAT?  9:23 am September 26, 2008

by Ken Layne

HELP US, GEORGE W., YOU ARE OUR ONLY HOPE? Oh dear lord, George W. Bush will be rolled out in a moment to speak about the Depression, again. Liveblogging will occur. [Associated Press]

WHAT WILL MCCAIN DESTROY NEXT?  12:50 am September 26, 2008

Washington Mutual Collapses; McCain Destroys Bailout Deal

by Ken Layne

There are no more nights in politics or business — only the endless horrible grind of collapse and fuckery, 24 hours a day, including this newest chapter in our latest, greatest depression: Washington Mutual has collapsed, and was closed by the Federal Government late Thursday night. It’s the biggest bank failure in U.S. history. And [...]


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