Tag Archives: great hashtags

  freedom on the wing

Shutdown, Week Two: Wingnut Civil Disobedience Reaches Peak Hilarity

Hello patriots! (Yes we know you are libtards and thus by definition you hate America — it’s called irony, people.) Welcome to week two of SHUTDOWNGHAZI!!!11!! Which is the defensive measure by which the GOP will protect us from the Dread Tyrant Obama, who is the greatest threat to democracy since the Battle of Aegospotami. Luckily there are plenty of brave freedom fighters amongst the citizenry and their representatives in the Wacko Bird caucus who are ready and willing to fight rearguard actions against the regime in order to ensure our freedoms. As a public service, we present this guide to both ongoing and future acts of civil disobedience that you can join in if you value your God-given rights in The Greatest Country in the History of Ever. Read more on Shutdown, Week Two: Wingnut Civil Disobedience Reaches Peak Hilarity…
  You May Say To Yourself: Deer God -- What Have I Done?

Chuck Grassley’s Postmodern Tweet-Lit Phenom: ‘Assume Deer Dead’

Senator Charles “Chuck” “I now h v an iphone” Grassley (R-Xanadu) just loves him some Twitter. And he tweets with all the Nrg a man can bring to the task. But a true artist knows that he must grow. He must test his limits. There is a limit (140 bytes) to just how many insanely cryptic abbreviations a creator can get away with before it all becomes stale, even, dare we say it, banal. So rather than yet another story of taking a “pixtur” with “3 SixPak voleybal(jay’steam),” the man is branching out. He’s dabbled in engineering. He’s experimented with observational comedy. And now, he is exploring the frontiers of avant-garde narrative: “Assume Deer Dead.” It’s practically a Chuck Palahniuk novel all in itself. It is awesome and manly and essentialist, man battling for his place in the universe, with success, in darkness. It is an “Easy Rider” for today. It is an epic in the making — we’re thinking Paul Verhoeven should direct. If this tweet has not been optioned and a screenplay greenlit by the end of the weekend, then Hollywood truly is the stinking cesspit of creative imbecility that John Nolte says it is. Read more on Chuck Grassley’s Postmodern Tweet-Lit Phenom: ‘Assume Deer Dead’…