Well, it would be nice if these guys ever went to jail for anything, but it seems unlikely that they will go to jail for this. A grand jury in South Texas handed down indictments against various current and former public officials connected with wrongdoing in private prisons — including, most notably, Dick Cheney and Alberto Gonzales. The prison company, The GEO Group, was charged with three counts of murder and manslaughter. This is an ugly, complicated story, so let’s cut to the chase: how many South Texas prisoners has Dick Cheney had shipped up to his basement dungeon in the Naval Observatory for experiments? MORE »

So let’s recap: MORE »

One thing’s for certain: If Bush apparatchiks were expecting news of the Miers withdrawal to distract people from the grinding wheels of Patrick Fitzgerald-style justice, they sorely miscalculated. The special prosecutor’s office has again announced that no word of grand-jury indictments will be forthcoming today. Fitzgerald’s spokesmen did announce however, that they’ve downloaded Tetris on the special prosecutor’s web page for anyone growing exasperated with the wait. –HOLLY MARTINS MORE »

All right, he doesn’t quite appear to be a completely broken man, but here at last is a shot of the proto-indicted Scooter Libby making his way through a phalanx of superbig cars with the same grim determination he doubtless brought to the two-hour St. Regis sessions with Judy Miller. And seriously, we wish the plucky aide a speedy recovery. Those jumpsuits are a bitch to get on over a cast. — HOLLY MARTINS

A loyal reader writes in that Das Scooter has been spotted on a pair of crutches. Alas, there appears to be no photographic confirmation of this at present. Nevertheless, aforementioned loyal reader supplies yet more irresponsible speculation surrounding the Plame case, to wit:

Top 5 reasons Libby on crutches

5. Tried to take out frustrations on family dog and got bitten.

4. Got frustrated and kicked office safe after learning combination changed.

3. Tripped down basement stairs while carrying documents to home shredder.

2. Transparently faking injury in hopeless sympathy plea.

1. Twisted ankle in shower portion of prison orientation tour.

A good start, but we have–in no particular order–more after the jump –HOLLY MARTINS

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Raw Story is reporting that Fitzgerald will grace indictments on–we hope you’re sitting down–Scooter Libby and Karl Rove. Citing the usual “lawyers close to the investigation”–evidently locked out during a lunch break–the Rawsters claim that Rove will catch an obstruction count, and that Scooter is looking at perjury and obstruction. They waffle, though, on the key question of whether anyone was violating the 1982 Intelligence Identities act that originally set this whole crazy caravan in motion. First they claim that Fitzgerald believes Scooter broke the law, but then they issue this closing disclaimer: MORE »

Look, we know Patrick Fitzgerald is a by-the-books tieclipped tightass and everything, and really, we’re grateful. Who else could have had the fortitude to trace the source of the Plame leak all the way back to the sulphuric maw of Dark Lord Cheney? But all this tension is getting unbearable. We haven’t clicked so compulsively on the CNN site since the days of the Janet Jackson Superbowl clip. Can’t the guy take pity on us and hand down just one charge to tide us over? Another day like this, and the sheer distraction of the thing will have us believing Harriet Miers is actually qualified for the federal bench. –HOLLY MARTINS MORE »