You may have seen on the Internets this morning various excerpts from what appears to be GQ’s answer to Vanity Fair’s Levi Johnston article, in terms of the great “which major New York magazine can publish the weirdest and least fact-checkable 10-page fart of targeted-readership porn” journalism wars. “Matt Latimer,” a late-term speechwriter for George W. Bush, has written a snippy sack of anecdotes from his time in/near the White House during the 2008 presidential race, the Wall Street collapse, etc etc. It could have been an interesting read, but here’s the problem: it’s not. It is one of the shittiest pieces of writing, ever, or at least since Uncle Tom’s Cabin. Did you know that not a single person in the White House knew anything about anything except for smug mid-level stenographer “Matt Latimer,” according to Matt Latimer? MORE »

This Draper cat is our new journalistic hero. While we were all sitting around in late August typing out “Oh who is Barack Obama going to pick for his Veep, and how does one assemble this complicated Ikea cabinet” on our elitist Macs he was in SOMALIA, trying not to get KIDNAPPED. He is basically your modern-day Indiana Jones, studied in the obscure traditions and quaintly superstitious folkways of an ancient band of bullet-headed goons and moose hunters called “Republicans.” Let’s learn how he infiltrated their tribe and got them to reveal all their embarrassing secrets! MORE »

You may all remember Robert Draper for his insanely long NYT article about the reverse-cowgirl firing squad that is the McCain campaign, or that book he wrote a couple years ago about George Bush being a turd. Whatever. There is news! He is a blogger now! And his blog has even more fantastical goodies about how John McCain has forced Sarah Palin to ride on the roof of the Straight Talk Express along with Mitt Romney’s dog. MORE »

Here’s the magic secret to throwing a good free party: Have an open bar that will pour actual booze instead of just beer and wine, serve good food, and make sure the attractive people show up. This last hurdle can be pretty difficult to overcome at a blogger party, which was why the geniuses at the Huffington Post and GQ made sure their Netroots Nation party would feature little Zooey Deschanel-lookalike nymphet waitresses and a healthy smattering of cute boys in slim-cut suits straight out of Mad Men. Of course everybody got wasted. MORE »

The April issue of GQ features a delightful profile of Meghan McCain, the 23-year-old daughter of WALNUTS! and famous Blogette. Somehow she procured full access to the McCain campaign, and has done a dutiful job reporting on the minutiae of life on the trail — namely, her favorite songs, what shoes she and her Blogette friends wear to town halls, and which McCain advisers are hot. The lady does not filter, she’s a liberal like her father, and she alternatively makes you hate and love your life. MORE »

GQ’s January interview with Mike Huckabee starts off like this: “There is a reason Mike Huckabee is standing out in a crowded and dull Republican field.” Wait. Stop. I know the answer. Because he’s fucking nuts?! Ok, so there’s more to his campaign than sheer nuttery, which is why this Q&A is fascinating in a laboratory study kind of way. The entire interview after the jump. It’s long, but sooo worth it.

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We didn’t cover the looooooong John McCain profile in November’s GQ precisely because it was long. Eleven Internet pages of Walnuts! Pass. Fortunately a tipster found a funny excerpt involving Tom Tancredo and some nachos and copy-pasted it to us. MORE »

Remember the alleged strong-arm tactics the Clintons used with GQ earlier this year? No? Well, basically the allegations were that unless GQ spiked an unflattering story about Sen. Hillary Clinton’s campaign, then Bill Clinton would not cooperate with an article and accompanying cover photo for the December’s Men of the Year issue. Not surprisingly, GQ dropped the story. At the time, one editor said the Clinton camp did not force them the to kill the story, adding that the magazine drops stories all the time and for lots of reasons. Well, with just a few days before the magazine hit stands, we must ask: Was killing the Clinton story worth spiking a potentially revealing political piece? Do we really need to see a Smiling Bubba on another magazine cover? And what’s up with your Men of the Year choices, GQ? After the jump, feast on the list, which includes — WTF! — a woman? MORE »

California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, known among fellow Republicans as “Liberal Socialist Guy Who Does Kennedy,” made what he considered to be a “joke” to the latest UK edition of GQ: that marijuana is not a drug, “it’s a leaf.” Well HA HA HA! We the American people are so glad that you consider marijuana cigarettes to be a joke, Mr. Governor of Drugs (Drug Party-CA)! Your constituents will not stand for this anti-Jesusery. MORE »

When GQ put out their list of the most powerful people in Washington, we all had a good laugh at how dumb some of their choices were. Then because we are whores we accepted their invite to a party at Cafe Milano last Monday night (never forget!). Liz Gorman came too, she took pictures. We just drank. Gallery here, random recollections after the jump.

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Cheney?

“I still see Cheney.” [GQ]