Tag: governors

Bill Richardson & Pals Smash Into Docked Boat, Flee

More wacky late-summer tales, just for you! This one involves New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, the one with the resume, and the corruption. His life has very little purpose right now. That's a good thing! The man deserves a...

Vaguely Heterosexual S.C. Lieutenant Governor Calls For Sanford Resignation

Definitely not gay at all South Carolina Lieutenant Governor André Bauer, who has pledged not to run for governor if sex-having Gov. Mark Sanford resigns, so as to avoid any trace of string-pulling, has added some Modifications to this...

JENNY SANFORD & KIDS MOVE OUT LIKE WHOA: The Sanfords are back from their merry two-week jaunt to the country Europe! So... how'd it go??? "First Lady Jenny Sanford announced Friday she is moving with her four sons to...

Desperate Corzine May Pick Reality Teevee’s ‘Apprentice’ Winner As Lieut. Governor Candidate

Silly Jon Corzine once abandoned his comfy job as a United States Senator in order to waste all of his money on a bid for Governor of New Jersey, that scorching slab of rocks and trash soundtracked to the...

Sarah Palin ‘Not Taking The Quitter’s Way Out’

Some of us have been on vacation since Wednesday, at the delightful Beach, but how could we miss Sarah Palin's latest cosmic sack o' lies and demons and terror? Watch her "I'm going to resign because governing a state...

SOMEONE'S BEEN SITTING ON A STORY: Important journalism newspaper The State has released some e-mails between Sanford and "Maria" that they obtained (how??) last December. Fap away!

Barbour Replaces Sanford As GOP’s Latest 2012 Hopeful Who Will Be Smote By Romney

Hmm, so that important meeting that Haley Barbour had with assorted Washington fancies on Monday night ... folks thought it was all just prelude to a 2012 run, but might it have had something to do with the whole...

Did You Know Other Governors, In History, Have Also Done Weird Things?

An important new Associated Press topical article notes that exactly five other governors in American history have done something weird, while in office. So nature-boy mountain lamer Mark Sanford is not alone! Come out of the closet, Mark, and...

Where The Dickens Is That Rascal Mark Sanford?

As the authorities trace his phone calls so as to locate him and his wife "Jenny" drinks bottle after bottle of zinfandel and morphine in sweatpants while watching her programs, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, a "2012 presidential hopeful,"...

Mark Sanford Escapes To Secret Lair, To Cry

South Carolina welfare queen Governor Mark Sanford is nowhere to be found, in South Carolina! His "whereabouts" have been "unknown to state officials since Thursday," the news outlets report. This country should consider itself lucky to have survived the...

Fiscally Disciplined Country Texas To Spend $11 Million In Obama Money Rebuilding Rick Perry’s House

The best thing to happen in all of Texas last year was when a few Democratic anarcho-syndicalists burned down Rick Perry's governor's mansion with a flaming bag of Barney Bush's poop, maybe. But because the remaining outer shell of...

Eliot Spitzer Plays Footsie With Matt Lauer

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy Eliot Spitzer was on the Today show this morning to chat with Matt Lauer about that time the latter fought a deer with his bike, and lost. Now...

DAVID PATERSON IS FINISHED: New York Gov. David Paterson, whose reign started about a year ago in that very auspicious first week when he admitted to cheating on his wife and doing coke all the time, is trailing New...

WOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW: OOH LOOKY HERE, the deadline for governors to accept stimulus funds is today, and the last three holdouts in the country -- Bobby Jindal, Sarah Palin and even Mark "Queen Welfare Queen" Sanford -- have decided to accept...

MARK SANFORD REJECTED AGAIN: Skinny communist blog hipster Peter Orszag has rejected South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford's request to use his stimulus money to pay down state debt, because of the lack of stimulus. This is the second time...

Mark Sanford South Carolina James Clyburn Zimbabwe Black Africa Racism

Welfare Queen and prominent asshole Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina, who continues to simultaneously call Barack Obama a sack of shit and ask Barack Obama to pay off his state debt, said today that Obama's spending policies will...