Wonkette

DOES HIS WIFE KNOW WHERE HE IS?: Yesterday the videographers at TMZ ran into disgraced former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, just a-walkin’ the streets of New York City! He was evidently searching for new prostitutes while carrying a tabbed folder, which was also filled with prostitutes. In this 20-second video, Spitzer says that he is “working,” which is black street slang for “being a homeless STD-riddled bum.” Eliot Spitzer is completely naked for this entire video. [TMZ]

Here is an update on that affable mother of five who the mens are always licking their chops over: She almost died the other day. Unlike other fancy-pants governors who have personal drivers to get them into car wrecks, Governor Sarah Palin drives her own self around in a Chevy Suburban. On Tuesday morning she was sitting at a stop light on her way to work in downtown Anchorage when some silly fellow ran into her, and now that guy gets to say he rear-ended the governor, wokka wokka. MORE »

The New York Times Magazine’s Deborah Solomon has a reputation for being very “forward” in her weekly interviews. Or sometimes it’s just very unprepared, like that time she asked Stephen Colbert about his dad, and Colbert said his dad died in a plane crash when he was 10, and Solomon responded, “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” Ha ha, weird! She is terribly awkward, which made this Sunday’s interview with Florida’s secretly gay Governor Charlie Crist such a profound occasion. MORE »

A couple of weeks ago the McCain campaign launched “Citizens for McCain,” an initiative headed by anarchist Sen. Joe Lieberman and designed to woo disenchanted Democrats towards WALNUTS! Let’s put that in better perspective: a Democratic-caucusing Senator and former Democratic vice presidential candidate is literally leading the effort to bleed the Democratic party to death. But Grampa Joe is not alone! Over the weekend, the McCain campaign released a list of 30 “prominent Democratic and unaffiliated leaders and activists who have joined ‘Citizens for McCain.’” One of the Important Leaders on the list is “Former Democratic gubernatorial candidate Philip Frye (West Virginia).” It turns out that this “Philip” — pictured here — prefers “Icky” over his Christian name, and ran for governor of West Virginia as a Democrat, as a stunt, to piss off Governor Bob Wise, who was sleeping with his wife. Joe Lieberman should just quit now, because he won’t find any Democratic leaders more Prominent than this guy. MORE »

Some student at the Univeristy of Alaska-Fairbanks has built a Lego replica of one of the campus’ buildings, and here he depicts Alaska’s hot governor Sarah Palin attending the groundbreaking. She’s even hotter as a freakish piece of plastic. [Ty Keltner, News-Miner]

Yoiks! Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm, the woman who could be president someday if she weren’t a secret Canadian, has undergone emergency surgery to remove “a bowel obstruction.” We don’t know much about bowel obstructions except that labrador retrievers get them when they eat pantyhose. The governor’s problem seems to stem from a 1993 car accident. But what will this mean for Michigan’s Democratic delegate mess? MORE »

Ding ding ding, the bun’s out of the oven! “America’s Hottest Governor” and the one and only GILF of Alaska, Sarah Palin, has delivered her fifth child and second son! Here is the statement from the Governor’s office about their new boy, which they have awkwardly named Trig Paxson Van Palin. “Trig is beautiful and already adored by us. We knew through early testing he would face special challenges, and we feel privileged that God would entrust us with this gift and allow us unspeakable joy as he entered our lives. We have faith that every baby is created for good purpose and has potential to make this world a better place. We are truly blessed.” Congrats to Sarah, her husband, and Trigger Von Bill Paxton Palin. Enjoy making No. 6, Mr. Palin! [Alaska Report]

WYOMING GOVERNOR CHOOSES OBAMA OVER RACE & GENDER: Wyoming Governor Dave Freudenthal, a former Clinton appointee, has endorsed Barack Obama. Barack Obama may or may not have promised to deliver the state’s first escalator and potentially electricity. [AP/WP]

Here’s Pennsylvania’s Democratic governor and Hillary supporter Ed Rendell, who likes to go on the teevee every four seconds and say something terrible. Today he appeared on Fox News and told Steve “I’m Dumb & Stuff” Doocy that Fox News has been the most balanced network covering the Democratic race. Hey, remember when Sean Hannity is on Fox News? [via Attytood]

New York’s ex-Governor Eliot Spitzer and current Governor David Paterson have brought the state two scandal-friendly governors in only the last few weeks. New Jersey, on the other hand, has not had any hilarious sex governors since James McGreevey, a homosexual, resigned at T.G.I. Friday’s in 2004. They are jealous of New York’s sudden lead and are considering recalling Governor Jon Corzine. Not that he has had any T.G.I. Friday’s gay sex prostitution scandals. He just has that aura of need-to-leave, you see. [KYW]