governor
Hahaha, get it? Get it? Because douchey White House party crasher Tareq Salahi’s douchey wife disappeared for a while and instead of offering up a prayer of gratitude like a normal person would, he was all OH NOEZ MY WIFE IS BEEN KIDNAPPED, but she was just cold hidin’ out and banging some dude from [...]
Southern California Nazis or whatever have painted graffiti in the Orange County town of Santa Ana informing new (again) Governor Jerry Brown that they will kill him next month. One message says “We’re gonna kill Gov. Brown 2/14/11″ and the other says “26 more days 4 Brown” and has a swastika instead of, we guess, [...]
Carl Paladino likes to point to his gay nephew, Jeff Hannon, as evidence that he’s no homophobe. That’s funny, because Jeff Hannon seems to think Carl Paladino is a homophobe, as the 23-year-old has stopped showing up to work at the Paladino campaign. This is according to the New York Post, which also wants you [...]
Carl Paladino is not getting along with the newspapermen and women who comprise America’s distinguished Press Corps. Why is this? Did these humorless reporters not enjoy the pictures of Barack Obama eating fried chicken-flavored watermelon, the ones Paladino forwarded to them, Subject: “LOL! I’m RACIST”? Apparently not, and to make matters worse, Paladino almost beat [...]
Not all of Meg Whitman’s ads are about how much she loves Mexicans. Some of them are about how Bill Clinton hates Jerry Brown and thinks Gloria Estefan is a goddess of the stage. Elect Meg Whitman, California, and you will have four more years of Zubaz. [Weigel]
THERE HAVE BEEN GREAT MOMENTS IN THE HISTORY OF AMERICAN RHETORIC. Yet there has been only one occasion of pure, unadulterated genius. That’s what happened last night: a debate staged between the Internet’s favorite Tennessee gubernatorial candidate, Basil Marceaux, and two other crazies.
Since we introduced you to your 2010 election boyfriend, Basil Marceaux, the man and his opposition to traffic-stop slavery have achieved virulence here on the Internets. Basil’s infamous local news broadcast introduction to voters has shown up and been laughed about on teevee shows as well. But the problem is that, despite his seeming avoidance [...]
After threatening hilariously last week, former Republican presidential candidate and very current birther / Muslin-hater Tom Tancredo has finally announced that he is indeed running for governor of Colorado, home of mile-high testicle oysters and the Broncos foot ball équipe. Tancredo is not contesting the Republican nomination, however, as he seems afraid to lose. Instead [...]
Congressman Zach Wamp is locked in a three-way battle for the Republican nomination for Tennessee governor (though it will ultimately go to a fourth candidate, Basil Marceaux), and so to give himself an edge he has resorted to the best talking point ever (after traffic-stop slavery emancipation), hinting that he maybe would like to secede [...]
Tips have been streaming in today to find “America’s Next Top Basil Marceaux,” and it appears the most worthy contestant just happens to be running against Basil Marceaux himself. “Crazy Man” James Reesor, as he calls himself, is an independent candidate for governor of Tennessee. And he actually has pretty good grammar and is sort [...]
When our friend Ernest J. Pagels, Jr., dropped out of his race for Senate earlier this week, we didn’t know if we could ever love again. But you know what? The universe works in mysterious ways. It started with a simple e-mail subject line in our tips inbox: “It’s okay to laugh at the mentally [...]
Oooh, it’s her SECOND ad! This is a major event! Yes, Margaret Anderson Kelliher is the Democratic (“DFL” in Minnesota’s Canadian speak) endorsed candidate for governor of Minnesota, and as you can see from this ad, she is running against Tim Pawlenty, future president of us all. Except Tim Pawlenty is not running for governor, [...]
Republican nominee for governor of Minnesota Tom Emmer supports “tip credit,” the policy of most states of a lower minimum wage for waiters because they make tips, but he made the mistake of saying waiters are making $100,000 a year in tips and hurting their employers. That angered waiters and such, so he had to [...]
Colorado Republican Scott McInnis is running for governor, and it turns out he plagiarized some stuff one time. And then people saw that and found some more stuff he plagiarized. So the story is that some oppo research people went and bought themselves a De-Luxe Plagiarism Detector Machine, and now voters will not elect this [...]
In the state of Minnesota, there is a thing called the Independence Party, and that is not considered an oxymoron. Gubernatorial candidate Rob Hanh lost the party’s endorsement to somebody named Tom Horner. So this video was his response? It is probably changing many Minnesotans’ minds right this second. Anyway, as you can see from [...]
