governor

We don’t know much about Texas politics, and we don’t want to. But it strikes us as maybe a bit desperate of Republican gubernatorial candidate Greg Abbott to be campaigning with Ted Nugent, the terminally conservative guitar man of “Obama is a sub-human mongrel” fame, and Hillary Clinton “should ride my machine gun” fame, and […]

Illinois Treasurer Dan Rutherford would really like to be Governor, but he’s got a teensy little problem: persistent rumors that he’s gay (a possible electoral drawback for someone with an “R” after his name) and worse, rumors that he had sexually harassed male staffers. And then Monday, staffer Ed Michalowski, Rutherford’s director of community affairs […]

Only a former Goldman-Sachs executive who has never held elected office and supervised the bank bailout under George W. Bush would have the hubris to survey a landscape rife with inequality, a shrinking middle class, and a 21.5% high school drop-out rate and think, “gee, I am exactly what the state of California needs right now: a job-creator and […]

In a move immediately deemed “good for comedy,” Sen. David Vitter announced today that he will run for governor of Louisiana in 2015. Since Bobby Jindal is term-limited, Vitter will only have to run against less well-known Republicans in the primaries, and already has a pantsload of money to begin campaigning with — even before […]

Well, kids, it looks like you have been praying to the right librul gods and goddesses after all, because we have ourselves a Festivus miracle right here in September, per Politico: Texas state Sen. Wendy Davis and her advisers have begun informing influential Democrats that she intends to run for governor in 2014, according to […]

Texas state Senator Wendy Davis, the super filibuster lady who actually gave pro-choice voters hope for a few minutes earlier this year, announced Wednesday that she will make a formal announcement of her future plans on Oct. 3. We’re betting that the upcoming announcement has something to do with either shopping for cute shoes, making […]

South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley posted this important communication to her Facebook page Wednesday: What not to do…getting locked out of the Governor’s mansion in your robe while sending the kids off to school. sigh…#adayinthelife Later in the day, Gov. Haley reportedly became flustered by the increasingly frantic pace of chocolates on an assembly line. […]

Rick Perry’s got a plan, y’all! An eeeevil plan, based on stealing all the businesses out of California and bringing them to Texas — because hell, you can do whatever you want in Texas! (Except have decent textbooks.) Rick is obviously aiming to be the Mexico-adjacent-Mexico inside the US for all of businesses everywhere — […]

As Click & Clack will tell you, it’s the stingy man who ends up paying most, and apparently it’s as true of governing as car repairs! And apparently also, Mitt Romney, as governor of Massachusetts, was quite the Scrooge when it came to building levees and other flood control for his state! Here is a […]

Oh happy day! We awake to the joyous tidings that former governor Mark Sanford (R-Appalachian Trail) and his lady love, that chick he was flying off to South America to bang, have sealed their passions with an engagement! It’s like a fairy tale, you guys! The [Argentine] paper [Clarin] said Sanford arrived early at the […]

Hahaha, get it? Get it? Because douchey White House party crasher Tareq Salahi’s douchey wife disappeared for a while and instead of offering up a prayer of gratitude like a normal person would, he was all OH NOEZ MY WIFE IS BEEN KIDNAPPED, but she was just cold hidin’ out and banging some dude from […]

Southern California Nazis or whatever have painted graffiti in the Orange County town of Santa Ana informing new (again) Governor Jerry Brown that they will kill him next month. One message says “We’re gonna kill Gov. Brown 2/14/11″ and the other says “26 more days 4 Brown” and has a swastika instead of, we guess, […]

Carl Paladino likes to point to his gay nephew, Jeff Hannon, as evidence that he’s no homophobe. That’s funny, because Jeff Hannon seems to think Carl Paladino is a homophobe, as the 23-year-old has stopped showing up to work at the Paladino campaign. This is according to the New York Post, which also wants you […]

Carl Paladino is not getting along with the newspapermen and women who comprise America’s distinguished Press Corps. Why is this? Did these humorless reporters not enjoy the pictures of Barack Obama eating fried chicken-flavored watermelon, the ones Paladino forwarded to them, Subject: “LOL! I’m RACIST”? Apparently not, and to make matters worse, Paladino almost beat […]

Not all of Meg Whitman’s ads are about how much she loves Mexicans. Some of them are about how Bill Clinton hates Jerry Brown and thinks Gloria Estefan is a goddess of the stage. Elect Meg Whitman, California, and you will have four more years of Zubaz. [Weigel]