Tag: governor

Get ready to be sick of winning

Donald Trump Bribes Carrier Into Still Moving Some Jobs To Mexico

You may be shocked to learn that this is not the job creation Trump promised.
Yes, Virginia, there IS an ethics probe

In Charming Seasonal Ritual, FBI Investigates Virginia Governor. No, The New Guy

Yes, Virginia, there IS a federal investigation. But we have no idea what exactly is being investigated. It's Terry McAuliffe, there's always something.
He feels just awful about all this, no more questions

Horndog Ol’ Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley Had Sex Chats With God, All Is Forgiven

a href="http://wonkette.com/600056/listen-to-alabama-governor-talk-about-touching-dirty-pillows-of-not-his-wife">Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley would like you all to just hush up now about all the sexxytimes he didn't have with his chief political advisor (and not-wife), Rebekah Caldwell Mason, because he and the LORD have talked it...

Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder Finally Decides Flint Residents Drinking Lead Not Such A Great Idea

You will recall that a few weeks ago, we told you all about how people in Flint, Michigan, are drinking water so lead-ridden that they are basically becoming human versions of those lead weights you use to sink yourself...
Some are born dickish, some achieve dickishness, and others have dickishness thrust upon them.

Maine Gov. Paul LePage Doesn’t Know How To Veto Stuff Good, Just Enacted Welfare For Refugees

Just in case you were wondering, vitriol-fueled weaselborg Maine Governor Paul LePage is never going to join LBJ or even Harry Reid in the ranks of politicians of whom people say "Love him or hate him, he sure knows...

The Weekend Stock Photo Report Resigned From Congress Before It Was Cool

In this installment of The Weekend Stock Photo Report with Weekend S. Photo, Aaron Schock will no longer be in Congress but is yes longer be in trouble with the Feds, Barack Obama thinks everyone should be required to...
What good is influence if you can't peddle it?

Oregon Gov. Kitzhaber, Vowing To Never Give Up, Never Surrender, Resigns

Well, this is completely unanticipated! Oregon Gov. John Kitzhaber has resigned, just days after announcing that no way in the world was he going to resign, which of course was obvious code for "Yeah, call U-Haul and reserve a truck...
Rachel's WTF? muscles really get a workout in this segment

Morning Maddow: Oregon Governor Definitely Resigning Or Maybe Not, Who Knows?

Rachel Maddow takes on the increasingly strange story of Oregon Gov. John Kitzhaber, who has reached a crisis point in the continuing scandal over the shady financial dealings of his fiancée, Cylvia Hayes, who is under investigation for alleged...
It's still a great shirt

Wendy Davis Loses In Texas Despite Apparent Membership In Wu Tang Clan

Wendy Davis attended an election-day event wearing a T-shirt based on the Wu-Tang Clan logo, but the power of the Killa Bees (plus, OK, a pretty lame campaign organization) was not enough to prevail for the newfound hero of...
Also Not Tom Wolf

Terrible Gov. Tom Corbett Probably Gonna Lose Real Bad If Y’All Vote

Tom Corbett is well on his way to becoming the first Pennsylvania governor to get the boot after only one term in office since the state began allowing governors to run for re-election… in 1968. Groovy! Polls show Corbett trailing challenger Tom...
Wait, you're saying she was still on Fox? Huh.

Sarah Palin Is A Communist RINO Now

Niche lifestyle brand Sarah Palin has endorsed a Democrat in Alaska’s race for governor. Really! Former Gov. Sarah Palin has endorsed gubernatorial candidate Bill Walker. "Last night my family, along with Byron and Toni Mallott, and our campaign staff...
No, no... LAP dance. Lap. With a p. Never mind.

Kansas Democrat Caught Getting Lap Dance!!! Less Than 20 Years Ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Big news! The Kansas governor's race is OVER, people. Paul Davis, the Democratic candidate who has been narrowly leading incumbent Republican Sam Brownback in most polls, is actually a sex criminal who was caught with a topless lady on...
He's just a regular super rich guy who's a total dick

Zillionaire Bruce Rauner Has An Old Van, So Illinois Must Make Him Governor

Bejillionaire Republican Bruce Rauner would very much like to be the next governor of Illinois, and would like everyone to know what a regular, ordinary guy he is. Sure, maybe he occasionally indulges in a few nice things, like...

Idaho Had A Gubernatorial Primary Debate, And Magic Happened

The Great State of Idaho holds its primary election next week, to decide which Republican candidates will beat some token Democrats in November. We have a true two-party system in this fine state: Conservative Republicans, and Insanely Conservative Republicans....