government shutdown

We couldn’t possibly hope to fit all of our Precious Memories of Eric Cantor into a single column, so let’s just hit some highlights of a departing weaselface. (You might be surprised at the number of hits you get on a search for “Eric Cantor weasel.” Then again, you might not.) The only problem with […]

Are you ready for some déjà vu? The Obama Administration is looking to implement a policy that will lead to healthier Americans. And once again, the GOP is frothing and foaming and throwing a temper-tantrum because they fucking HATE healthy (post-embryotic) Americans! And the kicker: they might just shut down the government, take their toys, […]

Let’s have a nice-time awesomesauce round of applause for U.S. Park Ranger Betty Reid Soskin, who at 92 is our oldest Park Ranger. Why are we writing about her? Some guy tweeted about her. And she was beautiful. Then we read her Wiki page, and said holy shit, awesome park ranger lady! And then we […]

Oh man, guys, this Cliven Bundy thing is getting out of control. Despite his blatant racism and strong desire for the government to keep their hands off his welfare cattle, Cliven Bundy STILL has supporters. And not only do they support Bundy being a total moocher, they HATE Harry Reid. And now, these ‘domestic terrorists’ […]

Hey, remember last fall when Barack Obama shut down the government just so he could eject disabled WW II veterans from the monuments on the National Mall? Now, a lot of you may have been under the impression that the shutdown was the result of tea party Republicans’ demand that Obamacare be defunded or they […]

Somewhere in America, there are people who still think that Jesse Ventura, who was actually elected by the people of Minnesota to act as their governor once, has important contributions to make to The National Discourse. Then again, somewhere in America, there are also people who write Small Wonder fanfiction. No, we do not want […]

Could it be that Michele Bachmann has been visiting Jan Brewer’s medicine cabinet? As we noted in our year-end review, the Arizona governor actually said and did some pretty sane stuff in the last year; now it almost looks as if several other prominent teabaggers are engaged in similar flirtations with reality. Just look at […]

Oh ladies. If the GOP isn’t insulting your intellectual capacity, demanding you be submissive, or trying to keep your libido in check (because you are all raging fuckmonsters), then they are desperately wooing you for your votes. Their latest attempt to distract from their 1930-era policies is to scrounge around and find a GEN-YOU-INE lady […]

Here is your Speaker of the House John Boehner charming Jay Leno to pieces Thursday. The biggest news is that he is very definitely naturally that shade of orange, he says, and he also acknowledges that his name kindasorta sounds like Boner. And being House Speaker is a bit like working in his dad’s bar: […]

In what has to be the easiest wingnut editorial ever written, the online remnants of the New York Sun declared that if Chris Christie’s bridge of sighs was a case of political retribution, then Barack Obama is a bully to put Christie to shame, because he shut down parts of the government during the government […]

Yes, yes, we know: you thought it was going to be Louie Gohmert. There is no disputing it — the man really is the dumbest piece of fecal-infused dough in Congress, and that is really saying something. But the thing is, Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year is more than just a yardstick of dumbth. It […]

While 2013 certainly kept all the womyn busy in the kitchen baking shitmuffins, there were some bright and awesome spots where legislators on the national stage groped around to find long-lost sets of (gender-neutral) testicles and stood up for everything that is right and just in this world. In order to honor those men and […]

In a surprise last-minute move, Texas congressidiot Steve Stockman filed to run for John Cornyn’s seat in the Senate just a few minutes before the deadline. So now we can look forward to yet another internecine Republican fight between the guy who invited Ted Nugent to be his guest at the State of the Union, […]

From the tipline, here is a gentleman doing a bit of 300 cosplay whilst muttering something about the need to impeach Obama. He is “Leonidas, from the past,” and he explains that he did not die, but is old. Not sure the gym shorts are historically accurate. Mostly, we feel sorry for his poor horse. […]