Tag Archives: government shutdown

  Tell Me Your Dreams

Even GOP Senators Are Sick Of House Wingnuts’ Bullsh*t

Wrong Kirk? Whatever.
Illinois Senator Mark Kirk has a wee bit of advice to his party, especially those fellows over in the House. After the Senate passed a clean bill to fund the Department of Homeland Security for the rest of the year, Kirk told reporters, “Hopefully we’re gonna end the attaching of bullshit to essential items of the government.” Read more on Even GOP Senators Are Sick Of House Wingnuts’ Bullsh*t…
  Kiss Kiss Boehng Boehng

John Boehner: Kiss Your Homeland Security Goodbye, America

He really loves us
It’s Friday, and you know what that means: knocking off early, going to happy hour, and the federal government partially shutting down a major cabinet department because Republicans are mad at Obama and really want to teach him a lesson by shooting themselves in the foot. If Congress doesn’t pass some kind of funding bill by midnight, the Department of Homeland Security goes into shutdown mode, meaning that nonessential workers in any number of agencies are furloughed, except that DHS has so many essential agencies that a lot of people in the TSA, Border Patrol, and even the Coast Guard will still be working, just without pay. So at least the TSA people at the airport will have a reason to be extra surly, whee. Read more on John Boehner: Kiss Your Homeland Security Goodbye, America…
  Thanks Texas

Your 2014 Legislative Sh*tmuffin (National Division): Oh Right It’s Ted Cruz For A Change

Just being a good Christian
2014 was the year when Senator Ted Cruz (R-Alberta) officially renounced his Canadian citizenship and became a true American. It was also the year when Cruz made his first successful title defense of Wonkette’s coveted Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year Award (National Division). How else did Ted save the soul of America this year? Let’s Wonksplore! Read more on Your 2014 Legislative Sh*tmuffin (National Division): Oh Right It’s Ted Cruz For A Change…
  Going-Away Present

Reindeer-Farming Congressman Acts Sane, Counters With Impeachment Bill

We'll always have reindeer
Wonkette readers have been kept well-informed about reindeer-farming Michigan congressman Kerry Bentivolio — from before he even officially won his 2012 election, when this site identified him as a potential heir to Michele Bachmann‘s Krazy Krown, to the raving retrospective when Bentivolio lost his primary this August. Read more on Reindeer-Farming Congressman Acts Sane, Counters With Impeachment Bill…
  If you love America you'll burn it to the ground

Sean Hannity Will Repeal And Replace John Boehner, Just For Funsies

This is his clever face
Some people might be glad Congress decided to switch things up a bit and actually do some work on Thursday night to keep the government open and functioning. (Yes, we know what “functioning” means, and yes, we’re using that term loosely.) Read more on Sean Hannity Will Repeal And Replace John Boehner, Just For Funsies…
  Everybody Off The Cromnibus

Elizabeth Warren Hell-Raising On Senate Floor: ‘Who Do You Work For?’ (Citigroup, Duh)

Please pay your corporate fines in full. You have 20 seconds to comply.
Elizabeth Warren did a bit of outreach to Republicans today, urging them to remove from the omnibus budget bill that rollback of part of the Dodd-Frank financial reform law that we covered earlier today. If you really oppose government bailouts, she said, then why on earth would you vote for this measure that would allow FDIC insurance to bail out banks that lose money on derivatives trades — those risky little gambles that crashed the world economy back in 2008? She notes that, on this one at least, she’s in agreement with such radical commies as David Vitter and even Redstate, where a front page post today admitted, Read more on Elizabeth Warren Hell-Raising On Senate Floor: ‘Who Do You Work For?’ (Citigroup, Duh)…
  Get Up So I Can Kill You Again

ACORN Still Dead, Republicans Still Trying To Kill It Some More In New Budget Bill

Someday the Killing of ACORN will become an actual religious ritual
So we have a Keep-the-Government-Running agreement on the way, hooray, and among all the fun stuff like keeping the lights on, paying to fight Ebola, and cutting the IRS budget just for the sheer dickishness of it, there’s a clause that makes sure no funds ever go to ACORN or any of its successors. Now, mere mortals might scoff at such a thing, since as we all know, ACORN is as dead as James O’Keefe’s cerebral cortex, but we also know that if there’s anything Republicans love, it’s a chance to stick a symbolic knife through the metaphorical ribs of a notional enemy. And so the inevitable line in the budget bill (no, you can’t make us say “cromnibus” … oh, poop): Read more on ACORN Still Dead, Republicans Still Trying To Kill It Some More In New Budget Bill…
  unnecessary sequels

Congress May Shut Down Government This Week. Again.

Congress is working on a plan.
Are you ready for Government Shutdown II: The Shutdownening? Because that might be where we’re heading if the sacks of uselessness that make up our Congress can’t put together a spending bill to keep the federal government operating past Thursday. Hooray for government by emergency. Read more on Congress May Shut Down Government This Week. Again….
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Why Are Conservatives Sending John Boehner Their Balls? (Video)

Rachel Maddow channels the Church Lady
About five years back, conservatives were really excited about mailing tea bags to members of Congress, to send an important message about tea, and liberty, and resisting tyranny. It was a Huge Success! And while no other campaign to send awkwardly shaped objects to Congress ever caught on quite as broadly, it’s still a favorite technique, because it’s fun and interactive and Sends A Message. Which is why Redstate blogger Erick, Son of Erick is encouraging his readers to send John Boehner some balls, haw haw, because Boehner is such a wimp for refusing to see why shutting down the government is such an excellent idea. Government funding runs out on Thursday, and the conservative base would love nothing more than to shut the whole thing down, because then Barack Obama’s executive action on immigration would definitely absolutely go away forever, just like last year’s government shutdown ended Obamacare. Read more on Morning Maddow: Why Are Conservatives Sending John Boehner Their Balls? (Video)…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: The Economy’s Pretty Good, So Let’s Shut Down The Government

Get it? 'Going up'? Look, they can't all be inspired. -- The Maddow graphics team.
Hey, look! Turns out the economy’s doing pretty well, what with yet another good jobs report and some pretty nice economic growth charts for Democratic presidents — even that Obama fellow, except of course for that unpleasantness in 2009 that started under some other guy: 2014 has seen more jobs created than in any year since 1999, which seems like a pretty compelling reason to fire all the Democrats in Congress last month. But despite their electoral gain, Republicans seem pretty confused about what to do next — so as they are traditionally required to, they are going to war with each other. Read more on Morning Maddow: The Economy’s Pretty Good, So Let’s Shut Down The Government…
  Serious Empty Gestures Say The Most

Silly Obama, Air Force One Is Only For White Presidents

It was this or a hastily-shopped picture of Air Force One up on cinder blocks.
You may find this hard to believe, but not every Republican member of the House of Representatives thinks John Boehner’s Obama Sucks Act of 2014 is quite tough enough on Ineffectual Kenyan Usurper Weak Socialist Tyrant King Barack Hussein Obama. Instead of just passing a bill invalidating his recent executive action on immigration — which would just get vetoed anyway — some of Obama’s more strident teabagger critics want to vote for far stricter measures that would also just get vetoed, but would Send A Message. Read more on Silly Obama, Air Force One Is Only For White Presidents…
  Another great waste of time

House GOP Will Reverse Immigration Order With Obama Sucks Act Of 2014

Here have a crumb
Poor John Boehner. Sure, he’s technically the speaker of the House, but the teabagger wing of the Republican Party sure never lets him forget that he is not the boss of them. They’re always like, “Shut down the government!” and “Impeach Obama!” and “Let’s vote to repeal Obamacare again!” And he’s always like, “That would be bad for us, you idiots,” and “That would be really bad for us, you idiots, but how about a lawsuit?” and “Yup, sounds good, let’s have the billionth vote on that!” Read more on House GOP Will Reverse Immigration Order With Obama Sucks Act Of 2014…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Maybe The GOP Will Pass An Immigration Bill, Just To Show Up Obama (Video)

No, really! They might pass a bill!
Rachel Maddow gets the feeling that this executive action on immigration isn’t going to be quite the disaster for Barack Obama that a lot of Republicans have been insisting it must. For all the bluster, impeachment is a no-go (even if the House votes to impeach, there’s no 2/3 majority for a conviction), a lawsuit is iffy, and a government shutdown, while a definite possibility, wouldn’t end the policy. And in the meantime, Barry Bamz is looking good, getting cheered by high schoolers, and generally sounding more like that guy we voted for — no “I’m still relevant” defensiveness for him. Read more on Morning Maddow: Maybe The GOP Will Pass An Immigration Bill, Just To Show Up Obama (Video)…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Here’s How A White Supremacist Set The GOP’s Immigration Policy (Video)

Amused Maddow is best Maddow
Wednesday’s Rachel Maddow Show begins with another of those rambly goofy stories that make you wonder whether a News Point is on the way, and then gets to the point and you say “Aha!” We won’t even summarize the first five minutes, because you deserve the fun of watching them play out with the fewest possible spoilers (also, we’re not sure where we’d start). Eventually, though, we find out how a near fistfight on a ski lift between a veteran Republican operative and an ardent white supremacist is a really good metaphor for the current relationship between the mainstream GOP and its wackaloon wing. Read more on Morning Maddow: Here’s How A White Supremacist Set The GOP’s Immigration Policy (Video)…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Remember How St. Reagan Got Impeached For Executive Order On Immigration? (Video)

The fax pun isn't integral to the story. But if Rachel were a wizard, her horse would be named Maddowfax.
Monday’s Rachel Maddow Show kicked off with one of those “where’s she going?” bits, about the odd technologically outmoded conversations between Pope Francis and his best American bud, Cardinal Seán O’Malley — they fax each other all the time, as a 60 Minutes profile detailed this week. Turns out, one of the things O’Malley is big on is immigration reform, and there’s the hook for the real focus of this segment: The Catholic Church didn’t like several provisions of Ronald Reagan’s 1986 immigration reform act, and when Congress couldn’t get the votes together to fix them, Reagan issued an executive order to change how the immigration laws were enforced. George H.W. Bush also issued executive orders to exempt some categories of people from deportation. In total, the tweaks allowed some 1.5 million people to stay in the country, without any approval from Congress. Read more on Morning Maddow: Remember How St. Reagan Got Impeached For Executive Order On Immigration? (Video)…
  Let's Roll Up Our Sleeves And Do Nothing

Sort-Of Democrat Joe Manchin Happy To Help Republicans Any Way He Can

Any questions?
Sen. Joe Manchin, the charming West Virginian who enjoys shooting pieces of paper and secretly wearing Republican undergarments, explained in an interview with Politico that he simply will not tolerate fellow Democrats who might try to obstruct the Republican legislative agenda. Quoth the nominal Democrat, Read more on Sort-Of Democrat Joe Manchin Happy To Help Republicans Any Way He Can…
  Tortoise Song Trilogy

Ted Cruz Will Be New Senate Majority Leader, Pope, Astronaut, And Ballerina

Just being a good Christian
With Mitch McConnell’s reelection and the Republicans taking over the Senate, America’s first Otherkin Senator is poised to finally ascend to the Senate Majority Leader job that he has wanted since forever. And who knows, maybe Ted Cruz will actually let him do that! At the moment, Cruz is playing coy, not willing to say on CNN last night whether he’d actually support McConnell for Majority Leader. The Senator from Alberta was only willing to say that’s “a decision for the conference to answer next week.” Not that he would ever be an obstructionist or anything. Read more on Ted Cruz Will Be New Senate Majority Leader, Pope, Astronaut, And Ballerina…
  He Works Hardly For The Money

Congressman So Sad He Is Not Getting A Raise, Is Not So Sad About Your Stupid Minimum Wage

Please help this man
Looks like poor Lee Terry (R-Nebbish Rascal) is in dire straits again. Terry, you may recall, was one of several House members who explained that they really really needed their salaries during last fall’s government shutdown, because they work darn hard for their money, and unlike other people, not getting paid was uncomfortable. Back in October, Terry explained he wasn’t going to stop collecting a salary during the shutdown, because Read more on Congressman So Sad He Is Not Getting A Raise, Is Not So Sad About Your Stupid Minimum Wage…
  so long and thanks for all the fits

Misty Watercolored Memories Of Eric Cantor: A Children’s Treasury

We couldn’t possibly hope to fit all of our Precious Memories of Eric Cantor into a single column, so let’s just hit some highlights of a departing weaselface. (You might be surprised at the number of hits you get on a search for “Eric Cantor weasel.” Then again, you might not.) The only problem with a guy like Cantor is that there’s just so much petty douchery to pick from that we know we’re going to leave out someone’s favorite example, so please, add all you want to in the comments (as if we allowed comments). Read more on Misty Watercolored Memories Of Eric Cantor: A Children’s Treasury…
  no not that kind of emission

GOP Heroes Will Shut Down Government Before They Let EPA Communists Force You To Breathe Clean Air

Are you ready for some déjà vu? The Obama Administration is looking to implement a policy that will lead to healthier Americans. And once again, the GOP is frothing and foaming and throwing a temper-tantrum because they fucking HATE healthy (post-embryotic) Americans! And the kicker: they might just shut down the government, take their toys, and go home unless they get their way: President Obama’s new climate change rule could result in a partial government shutdown this fall if Republicans attempt to block the regulations through the appropriations process. Let’s sexsplore why Republicans are determined to ensure you live a short, unhealthy life.  Read more on GOP Heroes Will Shut Down Government Before They Let EPA Communists Force You To Breathe Clean Air…
  jackbooted federal gramma

Government Employee Nice Time: Meet America’s Oldest Park Ranger, Betty Reid Soskin, 92

Let’s have a nice-time awesomesauce round of applause for U.S. Park Ranger Betty Reid Soskin, who at 92 is our oldest Park Ranger. Why are we writing about her? Some guy tweeted about her. And she was beautiful. Then we read her Wiki page, and said holy shit, awesome park ranger lady! And then we decided that would make a better post than Obama holocausting us (AGAIN) by making us get health care. Born in Detroit, grew up in New Orleans until a hurricane destroyed her family’s business in 1927, and then they moved to Oakland, California. Worked at a segregated union auxiliary during WWII, and ran a Berkeley record store after the war — it’s still in business. Wrote civil rights and peace songs during the ’60s, worked for a couple of state assemblywomen, and helped develop the park where she now works as a tour guide and interpreter, Rosie the Riveter/World War II Home Front National Historical Park. And couldn’t wait to get back to work last fall after the government shutdown ended. When we grow up, we want to be Betty Reid Soskin. Read more on Government Employee Nice Time: Meet America’s Oldest Park Ranger, Betty Reid Soskin, 92…