government shutdown
[Delta] House Teabaggers Plan Gingrich-Worthy Stupid And Futile Gesture
A guest post from your comrade Fakakta South. Remember when you were a kid playing a board game, maybe Checkers or “Life” if you were kinda dumb, or chess maybe if you were a nerd, and there was that one kid who, if he got way behind and saw he couldn’t win, would throw a [...]
Pawlenty Campaign, Minnesota Going Up In Flames As Shutdown Continues
It is WORLD WAR TEN in Minnesota. Following the government shutdown last Friday, there have been no public workers to protect the state parks from roving Visigoth hordes or whatever Marcus Bachmann keeps talking about, so the barbarian gangs went full ape shit on Minnesota’s natural spaces all weekend long. A “burglary and vandalism spree” [...]
Haha, CBO Says That Budget Deal Actually Increases Spending
John Boehner’s tear-soaked budget deal was said to make $38 billion in cuts and SAVED US FROM SHUTDOWN (not that anyone in America who’s not paid by the federal government cared), but it turns out, according to the Congressional Budget Office, that number’s far off. This year, the CBO says those budget maneuvers will only [...]
Government Shutdown Briefly Averted: LIVEBLOG of the War of the Hoohaws
We’re drowning in contradictory Twitters and Blogs and Wire Bulletins, so why not just cook up a Friday Night Fights liveblog and see what happens during the super-sexy Washington wrestling match featuring Old Bigot Toady on one side and Ineffective Milquetoast Punching Bag on the other. Hooray for the World of Sport! UPDATE: Reid and [...]
Boehner To Wreck America Over Ladies Getting Their Hoohaws Examined
So why is the “World’s Greatest Nation of Health Care” about to shut down, again? Right, because crybaby jerkwad John Boehner hates evil womenfolk so much and all his misogynist closet-case Republican donors hate women so much and did you know what is gross? A woman, with her “lady parts” and all wanting to “not [...]
Shutdown To Preclude Civil War Nerds From Re-Taking Fort Sumter
Won’t somebody think of the real victims? Hundreds of Union and Confederate re-enactors plan to stay in Forts Sumter and Moultrie, another Park Service site across the harbor, during a week of events. If there is a shutdown, plans will move forward to re-enact the bombardment Tuesday with about 30 cannons ringing the harbor from [...]
Sarah Palin Thinks U.S. Armed Forces Are About To Disband Or Something
This policy matter is so complex and important it required two (2) full tweets of thought.
Don’t Worry, Congress Will Still Get Paid During Gov’t Shutdown
Just in case you were super concerned about how Michele Bachmann and John Boehner and Louie Gohmert and Joe Barton and the rest of America’s corrupt lunatic wingnut legislators would survive the Government Shutdown, don’t worry! They can still get paid, and they probably will — unpaid furloughs are for the commoners, hahahahahahaha. “Lawmakers would [...]
D.C. Itinerary For 800,000 Furloughed Federal Employees
Washington is usually such a lively place, with its rats and whores and millionaires and non-essential government employees. How will D.C. change when the Federal Government actually shuts down forever Friday at Midnight? Maybe you like the socialist safety and security of your paycheck and don’t care for this unpaid, forced spring break? Or maybe [...]
No Trash Pickup In D.C.? Just Put the Garbage On Boehner’s Lawn
Speaker John Boehner is ready to shut down the government, including DC city services like trash collection. Well, if he won’t allow us to use OUR TAX DOLLARS to pick it up, maybe we should just BRING IT TO HIM. Makes sense. But you people are forgetting John Boehner grew up in a den of [...]
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