Wonkette

* Heard on the Hill: New overseer of House parking Kim Stevens can’t seem to stop getting parking tickets. Isn’t it ironic?… No need to fly to Minneapolis; there are plenty of good bathrooms right here in DC… Wedding bells rang for Rep. Mike Arcuri and Rep. Christopher Murphy over August recess… Being the President of the United States doesn’t necessarily make you Harvard’s favorite alum… Finally, someone’s not talking about Larry Craig. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Powerful members of the LA Sports club at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel now forced to use the front entrance… Clinton Portis celebrates his birthday in style. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Jim Nussle is office-less and working out of a Starbucks… GQ’s “50 Most Powerful People in DC” party still has an unconfirmed guest list… A defense of motorcades. [Examiner]
* Shenanigans: Members of congress slated to perform back-up vocals for Keb’ Mo’ at Grammys on the Hill… Bill Clinton gives good day time talk… David Bradley spent more on his “Wedding Crashers” home than he did purchasing The Atlantic. [Politico]

* Heard on the Hill: Airline travel brings out the worst in all of us…”The Devil Wears Prada” comes to Washington by way of Jeri Thompson’s antics…Stephen Colbert WILL get to know your district, unless its one of the 80 he forgot…What would a tour of Minneapolis be without a trip to the now infamous airport bathroom? [Roll Call]
* Yeas and Nays: Connie Lawn wants you to say hello to friendly, gentler motorcades…Supreme Court Justice David Souter never recovered from the recount ruling…Museum takes in former Rep. Earl Hutto lime-green 1979 Oldsmobile…New Zagat guide is out…Ann Coulter is asking for it–a fatwa, that is…Presidential hopefuls find their books going for pennies on Amazon…No widowed Wiccans allowed…Distillers try their hand at George Washington’s whiskey recipe…The U.S. Embassy in Baghdad a fortress of solitude, shopping and cinema. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Hurricane or not, Mitch McConnell enjoyed his time off…Sen Tom Harkin serves it up for ‘08 candidates…A call for resignation has less to do with the severity of the sin and more to do with the party persuasion of the governor. [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: Bush leaves through the side door…We’re the reason Larry Craig had to resort to an airport bathroom…The Oprah-Obama bash is only days away!…Gossip is a lifelong addiction…Larry Craig: a self-proclaimed romantic. [Politico]
* The Sleuth: Idaho men are tough and rugged with their tight jeans and tighter faces. [WP]
* Page Six: omeone’s getting fired at CNN after losing the only copy of Anderson Cooper’s Hurricane Katrina special. [NYP]
* Rush & Molloy: John Edwards does the down-faced dog for Russell Simmons. [NYDN]
* Washington Whispers: “Anything Goes” on the college version of 60 Minutes…Karl Rove finds a new job for the same boss…John Kerry helps out his old friend Leonardo DiCaprio…Bill Richardson won’t give up his SUV, despite his own pleas…Bill Clinton still hiding tapes in his sock drawer…Bush’s cabinet finally gets some pull…House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer goes to the Holy Land, finds the Golden Arches. [USN&WR]

* Yeas and Nays: New faces go up at the Palm… The Center for American Progress asks students to imagine what it would be like to not be taught by liberal professors… Based on location, Sen. George Voinovichis due for some scandal… Chef Morou Ouattara competing to be “The Next Iron Chef”… The Clintons do talk-shows. [Examiner]
* Page Six: Lou Dobbs earns some bragging rights as daughter Hillary wins the Open Jumper Classic. [NYP]
* Rush & Molloy: Paul Zahn’s out of a job and out of her house… Despite pushing energy efficient cars, John Edwards can’t seem to let go of his Cadillac SRX Crossover — or his other SUV and truck, for that matter. [NYDN]

* Yeas and Nays: Larry Craig’s former chief of staff Greg Casey defends his old boss, calms fears of helicopters landing at the Capitol, and admits to a simpler time when a backing up Volkswagon could have been a threat to national security… The Recording Academy’s Grammys on the Hill to return, celebrating “music and its makers” as well as Sen. Ted Kennedy and Rep. Marsha Blackburn… With all the good celebrities taken, the American Tort Reform Association finds a new poster boy in “Weird Al” Yankovic… Viggo Mortensen thinks Dick Cheney is “very Nazi”… Is Chris Dodd really popular amongst firefighters or is he just winning the support of mustache-sporting gentlemen? [Examiner]
* Shenanigans: Will “Law and Order” do a Larry Craig episode and, if so, what will Fred Thompson’s character have to say about it?… Jimmy Carter remembers Hunter S. Thompson as the man that he was: batshit crazy… The choice about which Gala to attend just got tougher: would you rather see the President at the National Italian American Foundation Gala or the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders at the USO Gala? [Politico]
* The Sleuth: Rep. Bob Filner’s defense: the airlines made him do it. [WP]
* Rush & Molloy: At the same time, Karl Rove got both Punk’d and his ride pimped. [NYDN]

* Yeas and Nays: Conservatives can, in fact, party hard, but only choose to do so one Friday a month… Harvard Republican Club looking for a more all-encompassing way to celebrate the rumored death of Castro… Lance Armstrong spotted at Rosa Mexicano… Michael Bloomberg not winning over any fans by insulting the Nationals. [Examiner]
* Shenanigans: Yes, you can bounce a quarter off Condoleezza Rice’s ass… PETA should be reminded that while meat is bad, Hummers aren’t helpful… An overly enthusiastic man elaborately sneaked into an Edwards fundraiser… Angelina Jolie is in Iraq, but insisting its not for baby acquiring purposes… Mark Foley not being charged with a civil suit by former page. [Politico]
* The Sleuth: Larry Craig is not gay. In unrelated news, he once described Bill Clinton as a “nasty, bad, naughty boy.” [WP]
* Page Six: “Money Honey” Maria Baritromo not so sweet on Erin Burnett. [NYP]

* Yeas and Nays: The Jenna Bush proposal took place at Acadia National Park… Bill’s book hopefully “Giving” Hillary a bump… Dick Collins likes the Clintons the same way he likes the Coreys… No pink pillow for Tommy Thompson… Obama’s camp puts out a clothing line. [Examiner]
* Shenanigans: Paula Zahn’s friends are leaking details about her married (ie: non-existent) sex life… The Edwards family might want to think about vacationing somewhere where they are more appreciated… Sen. Larry Craig backtracking on the guilty plea… Who knew John Roberts was a Duran Duran fan?… David C. Iglesias was played by Tom Cruise in “A Few Good Men.” [Politico]
* The Sleuth: The Singing Senators fell a little flat the day after Larry Craig’s arrest. [WP]

* Yeas and Nays: James Dale Guckert, or, as he prefers to be called, Jeff Gannon, isn’t going to let a measly public shaming ruin his journalism career… Georgetown students to get some “Afternoon Delight”… Kanye West might be a “College Dropout,” but he wants the kids to stay in school. [Examiner]
* Shenanigans: Albert Gonzales to celebrate Mexican Independence Day by freeing himself of the Bush administration… David Vitter is in Iraq hiding from Larry Flynt… A little Clinton and a little Gore meet in Manhattan. [Politico]
* Page Six: Oprah Winfrey ruins one bride’s big day out of love for Obama. [NYP]
* Rush & Molloy: Paula Zahn probably wishes she’d found a better place to stash her “love diary.” [NYDN]
* Washington Whispers: Dennis Miller: the new king of talk radio?… A topless picture of Vladimir Putin fishing causes Mike Huckabee to say something creepy about Scarlett Johansson… Jenna Bush to do bridal boot-camp… Go west, young dems!… Kathleen Willey insists that Hillary is up for re-election… “Larry King Live” senior editorial producer Carol Buckland part-times as “the Cookie Lady.” [USN&WR]

* Shenanigans: A sign located in the Cannon building parking garage reminds women that flip-flops are frumpy… No photos for Oprah’s Obama bash… DC Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey to dump her legal team, become a spokeswoman for legalizing prostitution… White House insists its not a shotgun wedding… Mitt Romney is picking a fight with Arianna Huffington’s new man, Cory Booker… Ed Gillespie is already a big hit… Jack Cafferty is getting ugly. [Politico]
* The Sleuth: Barack Obama is stealing all of John Edwards’s best material and camp Edwards is taking notice. [WP]
* Page Six: A hooker, a murder and Richard Nixon. [NYP]

* Shenanigans: The many ladies of Fred Thompson’s past were just “nuts” about him… Dan Rather not sure that a “Thriller” rendition was the right move for Katie Couric… Terry McAuliffe works the pole for Hillary… Sen. Debbie Stabenow is a grandmother… Tony Snow is almost ready to go. [Politico]
* The Sleuth: Rep. Bob Filner picked the wrong airport employee to assault. [WP]
* Page Six: Giuliani snags the Tory vote. [NYP]
* Rush & Molloy: Arianna Huffington finds a new man in Newark Mayor Cory Booker. [NYDN]

* Reliable Source: Princess Di’s dress is being auctioned off on eBay for a cool $125,000… Clinton Portis gets snazzy for his birthday. [WP]
* Shenanigans: With Karl Rove gone, all fingers are pointed at Cheney… CNN asks “what’s in a name?” [Politico]
* Rush & Molloy: Just because you’re paralyzed in Iraq doesn’t mean you’ll get the purple heart.
[NYDN]
* Washington Whispers: Judi Giuliani is a hands on type of gal… Bush’s political advisers to start sucking up to Obama… Nothing can stop Mike Huckabee from running… Mitt Romney’s camp needs to reclaim the term flip-flopping… Mother doesn’t always know best… Mitch McConnell to finally feel the wrath for his Daschle defeat. [USN&WR]