Democrat Jeff Merkley has beaten likable moderate Republican Senator Gordon Smith in Oregon, so Chairman Black Mao is a step closer to the filibuster-proof 60-seat majority that will soon force the conversion of all Americans to gay-married Muslims who work in the poop mines far beneath the Earth, forever. So scary! MORE »

GAHHHH!!! Sweet crickets, Mister “Senator” Gordon Smith, you are scarier than eight Oregon rapists combined with this ad. [WSJ]

Here’s a new ad from Republican Oregon Sen. Gordon Smith, who faces a tough re-election bid this year against Jeff Merkley, the bore who barely defeated that awesome little pirate hobbit in May’s Democratic primary. Smith’s ad here is the latest of his to compare himself to — gasp — Barack Obama and John Kerry! Is Oregon really so liberal that a Republican has to pretend he’s friends with two gay socialists? Anyway, this video is mostly funny because Smith never looks into the camera, and sometimes looks down, and everyone feels awkward. [YouTube]

Maybe Senator Elizabeth Dole teaches a community college English class on the side and wants to show her students a cartoonish, real-life example of “irony,” because that’s the only way to explain her current episode of retardation. She has introduced an amendment to the HIV/AIDS/etc. relief bill nearing completion in the Senate that would rename it after dead Senator Jesse Helms, the famous hero who once said, “There is not one single case of AIDS in this country that cannot be traced in origin to sodomy.” This Senate bill, interestingly enough, will probably contain another amendment — this one from John Kerry and Gordon Smith — to remove the HIV travel and immigration ban for foreigners hoping to enter the United States. This ban, of course, began in 1987 and is called the “Helms Amendment.” So basically, Boo Elizabeth Dole! Elizabeth Dole has gonorrhea! [HuffPo]

In the Department of Stuff That Might Be True, we go to Wayne Madsen and his occasionally semi-accurate unsourced website. Madsen says the new Senate Majority Leadership will try to convert moderate Republican Susan Collins and Oregon rebel GOP’er Gordon Smith should Tim Johnson be unable to continue as senator. MORE »