gordon klingenschmitt

Ever since John Jacob Gordon Klingenschmitt won his primary for a state legislative seat in Colorado, we’ve been expecting big things from old Chaps, which is one hell of a nickname for a straight man. We should have known that it wouldn’t be long before a man who is so very preoccupied by demonic possession […]

Thanks to Snipy staying up late so we could post the results of the one election yesterday that everyone was following (Mississippi: the Old Guy won, the other asshole lost), we are left with tidying up the electoral crumbs from around our great nation. Of course, Chris McDaniel is still making grumpy whining noises about […]

We were just typing along on our midterm election roundup, looking up percentages for the Colorado primaries, when we found a result in a race we had almost forgotten about. All you connoisseurs of crazy will be delighted to know that disgraced former chaplain and radio preacherman Gordon “Chaps” Klingenschmitt, who thinks pretty much everything […]

Gordon Klingenschmitt! We love this guy! He’s the demon-obsessed ex-Navy chaplain who is also too obsessed with the gays because — you guessed it — the gays are all chock full of demons. Now Klingenschmitt has reared his weird head again to warn us about how Senator Al Franken (D-Awesome) is going to pedophile up […]

In what we can only interpret as a personal gift to Yr Wonkette, former Navy chaplain Gordon “Dr. Chaps” Klingenschmitt announced Tuesday that he’s running for the Colorado House. Strangely, his announcement video didn’t mention his favorite explanation for how the world works: Demons. He has diagnosed Barack Obama as possessed by the hell-spawned spirits, […]

We started this post about our favorite Jesus-freak-ex-Navy-chaplain-angerbear Gordon James “Chaps” Klingenschmitt an hour ago, but then we ended up in a Google hole reminding ourselves of what an impressive track record of nuttery the man has. His demon and gay and DemonGay obsessions really know no bounds. Is he mad about the gays again […]

Hey ‘Merica! We’ve certainly had some complex conversations about surveillance lately. Go us! USA! USA! We’ve discussed whether Bamz has betrayed progressives, whether we want to make sweet sweet love to travelin’ man Edward Snowden, (though not if we are dudes because Russia frowns on the gay sexing), or whether we feel like meh, someone […]

As we at Wonkette are obviously a pro-family, conservative Christian news establishment, we long for the days when Americans of all stripes could come together to show our mutual disdain for the Homosexican Agenda, but now that ‘Murka has gone and voted for the black guy again, our coalition is broken and fractured, to the […]

Why did the Navy can this dude, er, Gordon J. Klingenschmitt, just for praying in Jesus’s name? (Oh right, because it didn’t.) But that has not stopped Gordon J. Klingenschmitt from having some opinions on the persecution of Christians by the government because Barack Nobama “blame[d] Jesus Christ” for his endorsement of homosexual marriage by […]