The Obamas have a terrible relationship with the Queen of England, Elizabeth Windsor. This is known. When they visited the Queen a few months ago, Barack Obama gave Her Majesty a “Touch iPod” loaded with hardcore interracial pornography films and swine flu. Michelle Obama, meanwhile, grabbed the Queen’s boobs for at least 30 minutes. The whole affair was vulgar. And now look what’s up: Gordon Brown didn’t invite the Queen to a Normandy party in Nicolas Sarkozy’s country, and she is pissed. Why did Barack Obama insult the Queen like this? MORE »

Barack Obama’s goofy, hated British squire Gordon Brown gave a speech earlier as host of the G20 conference, which is already basically over. Boo! He mentioned that since all countries are screwed, because they’re connected, because of globalization, they have all agreed to kick in a few bucks for loans and shit. But then he said, “a New World Order is emerging.” OH NOES. There are already 10 million versions of this clip on YouTube. “we are freaking screwed,” writes YouTube user “spydat3k.” [YouTube]

• RUSH LIMBAUGH SCOOP: OBAMA WILL POISON YOUR ANUS: Gordon Brown if you are out there on the Internet we must pass along Rush Limbaugh’s very important safety warning about the dangers of poison anal fucking: “But the slobbering [over Barack Obama], the slobbering… this guy, folks I’m telling ya, if he keeps this up throughout the G20, Gordon Brown will come down with anal poisoning and may die from it.” Maybe he can walk us through the mechanics of this on tomorrow’s show. [HuffPo]

Drat that Sky News, with their lack of embed function on their videos! Anyway, here is the most exciting thing you will see all day: President Obama’s driver trying to execute a three-point turn in front of the British Prime Minister’s house. A lady fixes her hair while a man directs the car into its parking spot! It is pretty goddamn thrilling compared to pretty much anything else that’s going on today. [Times Online]

British Prime Minister Gordon Brown suggested that a group of unemployed people who represent society’s most rapacious, morally flexible personalities sculpt the vulnerable minds of innocents. We speak, of course, of out-of-work bankers getting jobs teaching school children. Crazy Europeans! What will they think of next, milk in boxes? MORE »

This is sort of shocking, honestly — who would have thought that a guy who’s so great at throwing fancy dinner parties and entertaining guests would be such a shitty gift-giver? President Obama gave British Prime Minister Gordon Brown a set of 25 great American films on his recent visit to the US, whereas Brown gave Obama a pen, for heaven’s sake, and a book. Millions of Britons are appalled at this asymmetry of gifts. Why must Barack Obama crap all over our “special relationship” with Britain, &c. &c? [Daily Mail]

• John McCain is still tilting towards earmark windmills, and shaking and asking his magic Twitter, rhetorically?, if, um, hellooo? it’s ever heard of another type of Internet called the Wikipedia and if so, why should the government endow public arts programs? [Hotline On Call]
• Those purple ticket people, the ones whom you might remember were inhumanly inconvenienced during Barry’s Inauguration, have for whatever reason demanded and received commemorative Joe Biden sex pin-ups from Diane Feinstein. [Ben Smith]
• Huffington Post comedy site DemocraticCongressionalCampaignCommittee.com has created a fun novelty form in which users “role play” as one of the many Republicans who were forced to apologize to Rush Limbaugh recently. Meme! [Top of the Ticket]
• Gordon Brown, dauphin of the forgotten island nation of Great Britain, addressed our Congress this morning and gave a special English-accented hello to Ted Kennedy, who was just today crowned the Governor-General of the British East India Company. [CNN Political Ticker]
• Obama is keeping his promise to Nevada, and is probably not going to dump America’s nuclear waste in its mountains after all. [Washington Post]

So, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown was at the White House today, where he was SNUBBED by elitist American Barack Obama, who did not worship the Special Relationship enough to hold a joint press conference with Brown. Also, who the fuck cares about Gordon Brown, right? Unless you want to talk about a country with an even worse financial/banking situation than the United States, that is! MORE »

Oh George Bush is having quite a grand time at the annual G8 conference in Japan. He’s not molesting Angela Merkel this time, but he is embarrassing everyone: “The American leader, who has been condemned throughout his presidency for failing to tackle climate change, ended a private meeting with the words: ‘Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter.’ He then punched the air while grinning widely, as the rest of those present including Gordon Brown and Nicolas Sarkozy looked on in shock.” Punched the air? Best George W. Bush imagery ever. NEED SECRET VIDEO. [Telegraph]

While we’re having Thanksgiving this week, our ex-overlords in Britain are losing tax records:

[British Finance Minister Alistair] Darling was yesterday forced to explain to lawmakers how two unencrypted disks containing records of 7.3 million families claiming child-benefit payments had gone missing from the tax authority, which is overseen by the Treasury. The loss, the largest of its kind in U.K. history, lays open the 25 million people named in the data to the risk of fraud and theft. (emphasis ours)

LOLengland. This is what you get for taxing our fucking tea and stamps. [Bloomberg]

Actual AP headline: “Schwarzenegger’s blueprint for terminating British PM.” [Brietbart/AP]