GOP
In a pleasant twist, Godwin’s Law has been turned on its concern-trolling old head: Yes, GOP crank Arthur Jones is an actual Nazi! Jones is a terribly sane old white insurance salesman who likes to run around Lyons, Ill., denying the Holocaust, goosestepping with the Grand Old National Socialist Party while they march on Marquette [...]
The tanned and dapper California Republican who dated Greatest American Hero George W. Bush’s sister Doro, and yet never porked her, not even once (to classy dame Barbara’s great dismay), will leave Congress as his shitty Inland Empire district has been redrawn. And guess what? It’s now full of Mexicans.
Now that Mitt Romney has barely managed to win his abandoned “home state” of Michigan, we can get back to marveling at his weird millionaire android interactions with the common folk who make up the Republican base. For example, Mitt also enjoys NASCAR race car crashes, because he visited that NASCAR track and made his [...]
Mitt Romney may lose today’s primary in his home state of Michigan in spite of having won it in 2008 by a wide margin, so what’s the issue? Come now, Mitt Romney, don’t hold back your feelings, tell the world how you don’t even mind losing because you are grown sick of being the abused [...]
Those Taiwanese animators are sure having some sexytime fun with Rick Santorum. It is important to wonder if these Taiwanese animators are even American, the way they attack our most precious institutions (Satan, Rick Santorum). [NMA.tv/YouTube]
After last night’s delightful Republican debate focusing on the three important issues facing all Americans — making birth control illegal, cutting taxes for the richest 1%, and savagely persecuting the impoverished Mexican laborers who have mostly stopped seeking work in the U.S. since the economy collapsed — a few “moderate” GOP leaders are suggesting maybe [...]
Is it really already the last debate? Have there even been any before tonight? Wait, the intern telling us something… !!!… okay, so there have been about 20 debates! Thanks, intern. (You’re fired.) Well, this process has certainly made us a better nation. So let’s watch tonight’s CNN debate live from the gay Mexican firecracker [...]
Since Newt Gingrich is a bitter, complaining gasbag who nonetheless half-asses his plans for world domination in the course of putting most of his energy into reminding everyone of his hurt feelings, it makes sense that his new ad trying to appeal to Latino voters is just a cheap video shot in a single location [...]
How is Rick Santorum keeping the nation’s headline writers amused this week? Oh, the usual: cumming, blasts, and the reliable laugh provided by his actual name, “Santorum.” Why won’t Rick Santorum respect American family values and stop being the nation’s vulgar, childish joke?
Recently outed gay Arizona sheriff Paul Babeu has some hot relationship tips about his longtime gay partner “Jose,” who was also a trusted political consultant for Babeu and even designed all of Babeu’s congressional campaign websites: Jose somehow secretly “wanted to harm me,” Babeu told CNN on Monday. If true, this follows the typical Republican [...]
Republican voters have had an entire year now give or take to make up their minds about who they want as their candidate for president, yet they continue to gnash their teeth and weep blood a year later like some game show contestant given two minutes to stare at a row of identical boxes and [...]
This ancient billionaire coot with the game show host grin is Foster Friess, the big bucks behind some Rick Santorum Super PAC, and he would like to tell you that America is far too obsessed with the fictional problem of reproductive health and not nearly concerned enough with the very real and urgent problem of [...]
