The last time an Arkansas Republican candidate for Senate made the news, it was for sneeringly referring to Senator Chuck Schumer as a dangerous Jew. But this new guy, he says “I don’t want to do a Kim Hendren,” referring to Kim Hendren, the wingnut Senate hopeful who made the Schumer-Jew remark. And that’s why this new character, Conrad Reynolds, tells the Arkansas Democrat Gazette he needs to be super careful with his answers! These days, it seems like even a harmless watermelon joke will make the headlines! MORE »

This would be terrifying if it wasn’t about some lamer old wingnuts and their message board: The person who runs FreeRepublic.com is cold gonna overthrow the U.S. government — that means you, blackenstein — and ho ho, no more taxes on the millionaires! Hooray! Anyway, folks, things are getting Seriously Weird with the wingnuts, birthers, paultards and other middle-aged white suckers who bought into that whole Reagan thing 30 years ago and, whoops, are still poor and doomed. MORE »

America’s favorite orange-skinned reformed bachelor, Florida Governor Charlie Crist, is a pretty OK guy stuck with the unenviable task of governing a drooping land-phallus stuffed with meth fiends, unemployed real estate agents, and pythons. But now Crist has chosen to act like something of a dick to nice Sonia Sotomayor, for whom he would not vote if he were a senator due to her maybe being wishy-washy on the Second Amendment — which is Governor Crists’s favorite amendment of all. MORE »

Simple question for Michael Steele, leader of the Republican Party — the party dedicated to the defeat of Obama’s health-care plan, because they want to make it “his Waterloo” — do the Republicans support an individual requirement to get coverage? Steele’s reply: “Uhh.” MORE »

You know who sucks? Poor jobless hungry people in America, that’s who! The famous wingnut blog “The Drudge Report” got some GOP people very, very excited because Drudge posted something suggesting the government spent $1.2 million to purchase “two pounds of ham.” TALK ABOUT PORK SPENDING, HEY-O! But, according to sad pooh-bear agriculture secretary Tom Vilsack, “the contract in question purchased 760,000 pounds of ham for $1.19 million, at a cost of approximately $1.50 per pound.” MORE »

REPULSIVE OLD DIXIECRAT ZELL MILLER STILL ALIVE, AS PROVEN BY THIS RACIST REMARK ABOUT OBAMA: “Miller punctuated his speech with a not-too-subtle racial barb at President Obama, saying he needs to stop meeting with foreign heads of state and that Rahm Emanuel ought to get some ‘Gorilla Glue’ to keep Obama tied to his chair in the Oval Office.” [Think Progress/Politico]

Hey, we’ve gone all week without some fuckface old Republican getting caught sending hateful racist email about the Obamas. Maybe racism really is on the wane, in America. Maybe old white GOP officials have finally realized it’s not super funny to send hilarious jokes about the coloreds, to everybody, about the president. Ha, right. The latest batch of foul, blatant racism comes from “City Councilman Gary Frago,” in some place near Merced, California. And he’s not sorry, either! “I’m not the only one that does it,” Frago told the Merced Sun-Star. Yeah, we’ve noticed. MORE »

LIBERAL MEDIA DESECRATES SARAH PALIN AGAIN! “Indeed, if political figures stand for ideas, victimization is what Ms. Palin is all about. It is her brand, her myth. Ronald Reagan stood tall. John McCain was about service. Barack Obama has hope. Sarah Palin is a collector of grievances. She runs for high office by griping.” [Wall Street Journal]

When Nobama shuts down Twitter to finally free America from gross old white guys typing porn on their Blackberry machines, it will be messages like this one that we remember, from creepy weirdo Karl Rove, about how he works in an office full of masturbators draped in Snuggie-brand couch blankets, in the heat of July. [Twitter via The Hill]

Oh, surprise, Sarah Palin was for Cap and Trade before she was against it, on Monday, in the neocon pamphlet the Washington Post. This is just one more reason why she will become President of Earth in 2028. [Thanks to "Dwight I." for the tip.]

It’s Liz Glover! Hi Liz, to whom are you speaking to on the videophone today? Ah, it is Questlove from The Roots, in DC for the Rock the Bells deal, with some important conspiracy theories about Sarah Palin and the RNC! MORE »