gop debate
Liveblogging the LAST GOP Debate (Until the Next One, Which Is Soon)
Welcome to the last GOP presidential debate of …eh, “tonight” is about all we can say for certain these days. UGH. Here’s a preview: Newt Gingrich will sneer at some minority and the audience will gnaw its fingers off with excitement, Mitt Romney will be asked to compare and contrast the feeling of wiping his [...]
Gingrich Threatens to Shut Mouth If Media Does Thing He Hates Again
Does Newt Gingrich understand how threats work? He has worked himself into a lather over the part during last night’s GOP debate when moderator Brian Williams went all Mother Superior and instructed the Republican audience to hush for once in its life and wait for a commercial break to applaud, which meant that all of [...]
What Is Rick Santorum Doing To This Poor Microphone?
Come ON, Rick Santorum, at least try to make it look like you haven’t been practicing your moves. [Twitter]
Liveblogging The GOP Idiots Debating How To Ruin Christmas, Forever
We hear this is the “last” GOP debate of the year, but then again we also once believed Santa Claus was for real, so… who knows? What is for FACT is that we will be crawling into a closet to sob when this thing is over, because that is how we usually “come down” from [...]
Science Suddenly Inconvenient For Obama; Higgs Boson Leads Iowa Polls
NEW YORK—Have you been watching “Up” with Chris Hayes? You should be! It’s really, really wonderful. Though honestly kind of creepy? Because that man is smart. Freakishly so. As in: he does this weird thing where whenever one of his guests brings up some random new topic he’ll just recap it for everyone watching. Like, [...]
Abandoned Loser Donald Trump To (Probably) Cancel His GOP Debate
What’s this? Oh no, everyone grab hold of your weeping tissues this minute: Donald Trump is reportedly reconsidering his GOP debate comedy special after even Michele Bachmann suffered a rare fit of inspiration and declined the chance to be humiliated by one of her fellow cartoon characters. This leaves only Ol’ Frothy and Ol’ Flakey, [...]
Michele Bachmann Maybe Leaked Hawt Top Secret Info On Pakistan
Did Michele Bachmann share a sexy classified scoop about attacks on Pakistan’s nukular sites during last night’s GOP debate? Is she already sharing a cell with Bradley Manning, in the one twist of fate that could possibly worsen America’s inhumane/unconstitutional torture of Manning?
Michele Bachmann Is Completely Unaware That China Is Communist
Blathering reject Michele Bachmann showed off her fancy foreign policy knowledge at Saturday’s dull GOP debate by noting that the real capitalists over there in China don’t give out food stamps according to her expert sources (Space Lizard Jeebus), which is why they are kicking America’s socialist economy in the ass. Why can’t America be [...]
Relive Magic Sex Creep Herman Cain Calling Nancy Pelosi ‘Princess’
Here is the second-place “highlight” from last night’s debate, the part where known scumbag Herman Cain realizes he can’t actually sexually harass anyone on stage, so he settles for just saying something sexist and calls Nancy Pelosi “Princess Nancy” in the course of an incoherent rant about some irrelevant years-old health care legislation. Herman Cain, [...]
Liveblogging The ‘We All Hate Herman Cain Now’ GOP Debate
OH JOY let us all gather round our dusty ‘puter screens with our booze supplies, since the Homeland Security Department decided to half-assedly nuke America’s television sets (not that we even own one these days), so that we may together witness the Xmas miracle of a bunch of screaming devil millionaire slobs argue over how [...]
Herman Cain Not Entirely Sure What This Medicare Thing Is
Serial scumball Newt Gingrich and banal grifter idiot Herman Cain held some kind of “modified Lincoln Douglas style debate” Saturday night, which attracted exactly as much media attention as Newt Gingrich desperately blathering reasons why he deserves Herman Cain’s veep pick on a Saturday night as you’d expect. There was exactly one fun part, when [...]
#OWS Protesters Drown Out Idiot CNN Anchor In Las Vegas (VIDEO)
We missed this part of CNN’s debate foreplay in Las Vegas last night while we were down in Zuccotti Park, but here is a fun video of CNN’s protester-mocking anchor Erin “Seriously” Burnett making tortured faces and struggling to concentrate as a band of heroic Occupy Las Vegas protesters cripple the audio feed with their [...]
Watch Evil Rich Republicans Brawl Over The Hired Help On National TV
This is the “highlight” of last night’s debate, some portion where wicked millionaire slobs Rick Perry and Mitt Romney start screaming at each other like a couple of drunk country club housewives after Rick Perry accuses Mittens of being in bed with his illegal Mexican gardener or something, which is Low Class. And then they [...]
GOP Debate #194,834 This Month: Choose Your Own Adventure!
OH, is there is another CNN GOP debate 2NITE? It’s a “day,” probably, so YES, there is. The alcoholic beverage makers of America thank you, CNN! Everyone else thinks you are terrible. So, uh, Herman Cain will eat a delicious fried Mexican, Newt Gingrich will eat Wolf Blitzer, the fried Mexican will eat Rick Perry, [...]
Rick Perry Glad About That Time America Did War On Queen Elizabeth
Rick Perry told a group of frat boys at Dartmouth after the GOP debate that America gained its independence from the bitchy Queen Elizabeth, thank God, right before the Chinese bombed Pearl Harbor and forced Abraham Lincoln to invade France. Twitter absolutely loves Rick Perry’s revisionist history lesson, because it has learned something for once. [Twitter]
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