Tag: gop convention

RNC Night Two: Chris Christie Persecutes, Er, Prosecutes The Witch

New Jersey's failed vice presidential candidate took his snub in stride (again) last night by pitching a fit at the Republican National Convention. Governor Chris Christie led the convention in a call and response speech that was designed to...

Reminder: America Not As Insane, Doomed As We May Seem

This is important to say, and even more important to feel and believe, right now. It also happens to be true. It's easy to observe the GOP Convention, with its parade of speakers baskingĀ in rapturous cheers when they call for...

RNC Day One Round-Up: Here Are The Hottest Cops We’ve Seen So Far

You guys, Cleveland is NUTS. And also kinda chill, also too.
Didn't we settle this already? Silly us -- we thought that was the case with the Civil War, too!

GOP Platform Includes Big Wet Kiss To Bundy Terrorist Crowd, Big F-You To Parks And Hippies

The Republican Platform Committee has adopted a position on eliminating federal ownership of public lands that could have been written by deadbeat rancher Cliven Bundy. Who knows, maybe it was!

GOP Convention Guests Get To Potty Next To ALL The Trans Folk In Cleveland, Yippee!

But what about THEIR WIVES AND DAUGHTERS???

Cleveland’s Big, Gay Trumpkin Party Will Be Full Of Hate, Hair, And Pamela Geller

Dead Breitbart's fabulous Trumpkin poster child for lady hating, Milo Yiannopoulos, will be using Cleveland to gather a cadre of D-List Bond villains to remind the world that they're here, they're queer, and they have enough white power to...

Hey Cleveland, Ready To Have A Drinky With Yr Wonkette This Sunday? Yes, You Are!

Also, we still need a place to stay in Cleveland. Do not make us pay a million ameros for an AirBNB that does not exist, please.
Fame and fortune except the fortune part.

Won’t You Shelter Yr Wonkette In Cleveland And Philadelphia For Convention Time Funsies?

Wonkette is comin' to the conventions, and we wanna stay at YOUR HOUSE!

Mitt Romney Will Be GOP’s Sexxxy Knight In Shining Armor! Or Scott Walker! Or Somebody!

PLEASE SOMEBODY, ANYBODY! The #NeverTrumpers are DYING here!

The Republican National Convention Is Going To Be Just So Gosh Darn Swell!

Nobody wants to go to Cleveland's big Republican National Convention hoop-de-doo :(
Just put a Band-Aid on it, don't be so weak and unprofessional.

Trump Bros Who Beat Up Homeless Hispanic Guy Going To Prison, How Is That Even Fair?

What is this world coming two when two hairy Trump supporters can't see a 58-year-old homeless Hispanic man sleeping, and beat him up and pee on him?
Someone help him, please

Never Wrong Bill Kristol Will Never Say Never About Donald Trump

Oh hey, Bill Kristol, how's it hangin'? You out there in America somewhere, bein' wrong? Duh, of course. So, in case you didn't know, Bill Kristol, the man who is never always wrong, has been a big whore-pimper for the...

Speaker Paul Ryan Finally Letting Donald Trump Have His Way With Him

Poor pitiful House Speaker Paul Ryan! He's supposed to be the sane Republican savior to herd all the feral cats together and actually get something done in Washington, but this Donald Trump man has been getting under his skin!...

Best Pals Ted Cruz And John Kasich Will Use Buddy System To Defeat Donald Trump

The Republican primary is pathetic again. Donald Trump is sailing toward the nomination, a truth that horrifies all sane people. But Ted Cruz and John Kasich have come up with a plan to stop him, hooray! It won't work,...
Guess this makes them serious candidates.

Ben Carson The Trump Supporter Hates Donald Trump So Much, You Guys

<a href="http://wonkette.com/595704/ben-carson-insists-he-really-was-a-teen-thug-stabs-cnn-reporter-to-prove-it"></a>Um, Ben Carson is almost as bad at supporting people for president as he is at running for president. We did not actually know that was possible, considering how he is a brain surgeon who got confused by...

Paul Ryan To Yet Again Deny America His Sexxxy Presidential Embrace

<a href="http://wonkette.com/595408/the-top-29-things-the-d-in-paul-ryans-new-fancy-speaker-name-stands-for"></a>As America has absorbed the prospect of being presidented by Donald J. Trump or Hillary R. Clinton or one of the other candidates, our nation has been weeping and wailing and begging Paul D. Ryan (the "D" stands...