Your Wonkette was performing its routine of googling “Romney” at the start of each morning for daily affirmation when lo, what was this third result that appeared? “SpreadingRomney.com,” a dictionary page defining the verb “Romney” as “defecating in terror.” This refers to his dog on top of the family car. When will the Internet grow [...]
Fearmongering terror toad Joe Lieberman is the worst person in the Senate — not because he’s the dumbest, or the most personally repulsive, but because he has spent the past decade using his supposed “credibility” as a Democrat senator to wage domestic war against the American People. His latest attempt is an Internet Gulag for [...]
And now it is time to check in with marshmallow human Newt Gingrich for the latest in high tech interactive multimedia. Oh hey look, Newt has discovered hip new social networking thing Google “plus,” which is just Facebook without Farmville or Sarah Palin and all her turd followers on it, which means it is still [...]
Here’s a stupid Los Angeles Times video of Governor Jerry Brown’s legless tribble-sausage dog running around the state capitol while most dogs in California are being “put to sleep” (along with education and infrastructure and state parks) because corporations won’t pay their fair share of taxes in California. Yayyy, animal videos!
WE KNEW IT! That Google thought it could win over our trust by keeping secret about our favorite porn and about our weird health fears, but now it’s gone too far: It’s single-handedly taken down Glenn Beck’s best bro, Hosni Mubarak. Look, this isn’t a political thing. Glenn Beck didn’t like it when Bing gave [...]
Yes, Rick Santorum is aware that, according to the Internet, his name means “that frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex,” thanks to the Internet’s love advice guy, Dan Savage. But Rick Santorum also heard President Obama say something about “civility” when that woman who actually has [...]
That’s odd. I clicked on the Google button on the AOL and it came up with a new picture. Why would they stick an American flag… OH NO. THEY DID IT SO THEY COULD STICK A CRESCENT MOON IN THERE. The Google has been taken over by Sharia law! AND ON VETERANS DAY! This is [...]
You know all those Google Street View cars that are methodically driving up and down every street in the world, including those in America, and taking thousands of pictures, just so you can get drunk and enter your ex’s address into Google Maps and sullenly masturbate to pictures of his or her house? Well these [...]
This is just to let you know that Juan “Taco Salad” McCain has, indeed, purchased the domain CompleteTheDangedFence.com, because he’s a massive pussy. [Reason]
Terrifying Chicago thug and life-saving superhero Rahm Emanuel made it official last night: If Richard Daley doesn’t run again, Rahm wants to be Mayor of Chicago. “That’s always been an aspiration of mine,” Rahm told Charlie Rose during a secret televised conversation, “even when I was in the House of Representatives.” Now who will Eric [...]
Much like the Day of Infamy when George Washington switched from AOL to Hotmail, March the Second of Year Two-Thousand and Ten will always be remembered as the day the Patriot Google group said “we hath taken too much!” and just cold went over to Yahoo groups. [Patriotic Yahoo group]
The worst news for Iranians using Gmail in Iran: Iran has banned Gmail! Uh, and the country is trying to make up for it by inventing some national email thing that is decidedly not Gmail: “Iran’s telecommunications agency announced what it described as a permanent suspension of Google Inc.’s email services, saying instead that a [...]
