WORLD NEWS ANCHOR CHARLIE GIBSON IS QUITTING. Someone at ABC will now go to the Good Morning America studio, find Diane Sawyer, and shuffle her down the hall to replace him. Sawyer can probably just stay seated in whatever chair she uses over there during this exciting transition process, provided it’s one of those rolly ones. [ABC News]

Michelle Obama did The View yesterday, so today sasspants Cindy McCain visited Good Morning America. We were too busy sleeping or something to actually watch this wee interview, but here is a recording of it! After the jump, an exclusive Wonkette Record-O-Blog, which is like a liveblog, except recorded. MORE »

Michelle Obama is some kinda lady, waltzing around here (the royal “here”) thinking she can have an independent opinion outside party lines. On Good Morning America today, she said she’d have “to think about” supporting Hillary Clinton if The Clintons won the nomination. The Clintons may have used all sorts of tribal slurs about Michelle’s… race… recently. But they’ve always said that if a Luo tribesman gets the Democratic nomination, they’d gladly support that Luo tribesman. Why can’t Barack’s American bride say the same about some Arkansas crackers? SHOCKING video footage, after the jump. MORE »

Bill Clinton’s a dick, nothing new here. He thinks Barry’s Iraq support is a “fairy tale,” and that’s only the tip of the iceberg insofar as Bill’s virulent racism is concerned. He also brought out “my wife should be president over this guy,” a pejorative that dates to those muggy summers in the indigo fields of South Carolina’s Sea Islands. Well, he’s done it now, and Barry’s had enough. He will attack the very mean former President when attacked now, and a veritable slap party shall ensue. MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: Michael Scanlon, of the Jack Abramoff scandal, presented his graduate thesis, an “evaluative history of the House ethics process,” at John Hopkins University. . . Sen. Kennedy and his dog, Splash, will appear on “Good Morning America” this Friday. [Roll Call]
* Inside Politics: “The Star Spangled Banner” was sung in both English and Spanish during Bush’s first inauguration. . . Cheney: “My image might be better out there… if I spent more time as a public figure trying to improve my image, but that’s not why I’m here.” [WT]

* Reliable Source: Rep. Cynthia McKinney reportedly “stabbed” Capitol Hill officer with her cellphone; her new haircut may have caused the confusion. . . Final Four lawmakers put hometown bets on the NCAA game. [WP]
* Under the Dome: DSCC jumps on Sen. George Allen for saying the Senate is “too slow for me.” [The Hill]
* Inside the Beltway: Twenty-two House Republicans seek a review of federally funded sex-ed programs. [WT]
* Page Six: Rush Limbaugh gives “private pointers” to Monica Crowley. . . “Good Morning America” producer who knocked Bush in a leaked email also wrote of Madeleine Albright’s “Jew shame.” [NYP]
* Ben Widdicombe’s Gatecrasher: Rupert Murdoch and his New York Post are “cozying ever closer” to Hillary. [NYDN]