• The pundits are now referring to Afghanistan’s deformed democracy as America’s “awkward third nipple.” [Matt Yglesias]
• Hundreds of sexy wingnut biddies have propositioned Screamin’ Joe Wilson with shots of tequila and lap dances. [Think Progress]
• Speaking of Ol’ Screamy, when was the last time you won a douchey tee shirt? [True/Slant: Michael Roston]

• “Did Obama Encourage Iran’s Brutal Crackdown?” That, and so much more! [Weekly Standard]
• Matt Taibbi, guest editor of AMERICAblog. [AMERICAblog]

• High-frequency trading? Goldman Sachs? Ball’s in your court, Taibbi. [Matt Yglesias]
• “You Want Context? Drudge Will Give You Context.” And brain herpes! [Weekly Standard]
• Joe Biden is such a golly liberal fascist, according to liberal fascist experts. [USA Today]
• The best part of RedState’s furry convention was when Liz Cheney gave everyone an enormous boner — as stiff as a starched collar! Who could resist doe-eyed Liz in that delicious panda bear suit? So soft. [RedState]
• Sean Hannity is now a Texas Kentucky Colonel. [Think Progress]
• CNN took one look at the ad Media Matters wanted to air and said, “What is this? You are not selling pills or automobiles? NO. This will not do. Air your facts on Fox.” [TPM]

• Just more proof that the Associated Press is controlled by Erik Erickson and the Pharmaceutical Knights Templar. [Matt Yglesias]
• When will you whiny liberals thank S&M black belt John Yoo for correcting FISA’s many typos and run-on sentences? And why aren’t you more appreciative of all the fabulous features he added in the process, like the provision for warrantless NSA succubus home invasions? [Think Progress]
• CONFIRMED RUMOR: RedState’s mission is “activism” — or to be more specific — actively capturing Karl Rove’s queefs in zip lock bags, so they can be treasured and passed on as heirlooms to the next generation of crazies. [RedState]
• Claudia Deutsch is bursting with jellybean joy because HURRAY for Goldman Sachs and all the billions of dollars they made while pounding the entire world in the anus! But WAIT. Matt Taibbi and his Merry Pranksters have arrived at the scene, with “facts” and “logic” — they were not invited! [True/Slant BLOG WAR]
• If health care is reformed, blue dog Democrat Mike Ross will handcuff himself to Nancy Pelosi and make fart noises with his armpits until America stops being so socialist. [AMERICAblog]

• Joe the Plumber was the keynote speaker at the Houston Teabag Fiesta. And here’s a fun video of him autographing female breasts with a sharpie while talking about those “damn illegals.”
  [Think Progress]
• RedState intern Michele Bachmann writes about Dealergate, and some sort of Executive Order she is cosponsoring that will outlaw the census. [RedState]
• Matt Taibbi wrote a scathing customer review about Goldman Sachs in Rolling Stone, which you should definitely check out. And now Goldman is in a bit of a PR nightmare but no sweat, they still have all of our money. [Matt Taibbi]
• Andrew Sullivan is still groovin’ out to the eight tabs of LSD he ate on Saturday. The only question that remains: is he listening to Surrealistic Pillow or Volunteers? Curious minds want to know. [Andrew Sullivan]
• Have you heard the one where Harry Reid, Al Franken and a rabbi walk into a bar? [The Caucus]

Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs, the two largest independent investment banks to not have been brutally murdered yet, are… moderately fucked? Both companies’ stock prices have been dropping a solid 10-20% each of the last few days, but supposedly that will curtail when people calm the fuck down. WHICH WILL NEVER HAPPEN, which is why Morgan Stanley will now be sold to the Chinese government for two crusty dildos and a pack of Luckies. MORE »