Tag Archives: god hates fags

  Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb

Big Banks Won’t Stop Cramming Homosexuals Down Franklin Graham’s Throat

Jesus loves the little children, unless they're super-duper gay. SING ALONG!
Poor persecuted Franklin Graham, insane wingnut son of evangelist Billy Graham and president of his daddy’s association, saw a Wells Fargo ad on the teevee, and the ad had lesbians in it, and this shall not stand! So he took his mad right to the Facebook and announced what he was gonna do: close the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association’s Wells Fargo accounts (because he controls them now that his dad is 96) and move them to a better, more gay-hatey bank: Read more on Big Banks Won’t Stop Cramming Homosexuals Down Franklin Graham’s Throat…
  Ride my mustache away from the gay menace

Porn-stached Wingnut Just Asking: Should We Secede Because Of Gay Homo Marriage?

Come live inside my manly face hairs.
The Supreme Court is just about ready, any day now, to throatcram America TO DEATH, with gay marriage, and very serious newsman Joseph Farah, of the pre-condom gay porn-era Farahs, has taken to the august pixels of his very serious online newspaper WorldNetDaily, to propose a solution: If America simply must have gay marriage, we should pick a state, for all the sad people who hate gays more than they love life to move to, and then get that state to secede from the US and A: Read more on Porn-stached Wingnut Just Asking: Should We Secede Because Of Gay Homo Marriage?…
  Like On A Trail You Know?

Boy Scouts President Says Gay Scout Leaders Just Fine, Haters Can Take A Hike

It will look just like this.
Hurray, we have a Nice Time, and it is about the Boy Scouts! If you search your noggin, you’ll remember way back in 2013, when the entire Boy Scouts of America (BSA) got homosexual agendaed, because they lifted the ban on gay scouts, but kept the ban in place for adult members of the organization. Despite the fact that we are talking about KIDS, this did not stop religious right goons like Bryan Fischer and Kevin Swanson from making juvenile rage jokes about sodomy badges and also Boy Scouts’ firm young buttocks, because Bryan Fischer and Kevin Swanson probably need professional help. Read more on Boy Scouts President Says Gay Scout Leaders Just Fine, Haters Can Take A Hike…
  Teach us oh white people!

How Are White Wingnuts Fixing The Blacks Of Baltimore This Week?

The cats are cuter than anything you'll read in this post.
Ever since the alleged police murder of Freddie Gray and the rioting that followed, white wingnuts have been trying SO HARD to do something — anything! — to help the poor black communities of Baltimore recover and move on from this tragedy. Because they care so much, honest! Should we cut off their food stamps? Give everybody more guns, so they can Stand Their Ground? Send them all some more Jesus, and good dads like Rand Paul? Well, worry not, because there are still more turd ideas to throw at the wall, so here is this week’s roundup of White Wingnut Wisdom for Baltimorean Blacks! Read more on How Are White Wingnuts Fixing The Blacks Of Baltimore This Week?…
  Letters from a jilted lover

Bobby Jindal Is Being Bullied By The Gaywads, And He’s Not Gonna Take It Anymore!

Not presidential material. Not Bobby Jindal either.
Bobby Jindal, wingnut governor of Louisiana, is whining in a very public way. Why? Gays. Where? The New York Times. Jindal has penned an op-ed to let everybody know that, unlike those Republican pussies in Arkansas and Indiana, who caved to the unholy alliance of Big Business and Big Sodomy and signed watered-down Religious Freedom Restoration Acts (RFRA’s, as the kids call them on Snapchat) that don’t explicitly allow people with Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs to discriminate against gays and lesbians any old damn way they choose, he will be “holding firm against gay marriage.” In fact, that is the headline of his piece! Show us on the doll where the gays are bullying you, Governor Jindal: Read more on Bobby Jindal Is Being Bullied By The Gaywads, And He’s Not Gonna Take It Anymore!…
  Might as well just start all over really

Indiana Hires Fancy PR Firm To Help It Rebrand As NOT The God-Hates-Fags State

Really, you guys. Indiana is nice! Stop laughing!
Indiana’s reputation is really piss-poor these days! After becoming the target of nationwide outrage over their passage of a bullshit “religious freedom” bill that, in its original form, basically gave any person or company with Sincerely Held Religious Beliefs the right to kick gays out the door, they got to experience what it’s like to be pariahs. Sorry, Indiana GOP Christian Right weirdos — you have lost the culture war THAT MUCH, that your little futile exercise in giving yourselves special God Hates Fags rights put the state of Indiana very much at risk of losing people, investment, the state’s good name, etc. So now you have to REBRAND! Read more on Indiana Hires Fancy PR Firm To Help It Rebrand As NOT The God-Hates-Fags State…
  Can we be done talking about this now?

Arkansas And Indiana Suck Up To Big Gay With ‘Fixed’ Religious Freedom Bills

Just suck it up
Late Thursday, Arkansas Gov. Asa Hutchinson was FIRST! to call a press conference so he could sign the “fixed” Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA) into law, following a weeklong national outcry. Before any journalist could even open a new browser tab to type words about it, there went Indiana Gov. Mike Pence, doing the same damn thing. Did the governors time it that way, so the media wouldn’t know what to cover? Maybe! Or maybe it just happened that way because everybody was ready to go the fuck home for the long holiday weekend. Proponents claimed the original laws did nothing more than protect religious freedom from some unspecified threat, but in reality, the bills were thinly veiled licenses to hate on and discriminate against gays and lesbians, so they had to be amended to ensure that no, this does not give you permission to refuse to do flowers for Dale and Kevin’s wedding, and no, also, please do not take your businesses out of our states! Read more on Arkansas And Indiana Suck Up To Big Gay With ‘Fixed’ Religious Freedom Bills…
  George Stephanopoulos's questions have a well known liberal bias

Indiana Gov. Mike Pence: I Proudly Signed Some Anti-Gay Sh*t I Don’t Understand

I am a deeply stupid man, I am the biggest idiot, I am the worst governor of any of the states, and that is saying something.
Mike Pence Is Not Here To Answer Questions Indiana governor Mike Pence is either a deeply stupid man, or he’s been convinced that the deeply stupid Good Christians of his state are truly facing dire harm from having to provide services to, or acknowledge the existence, of LGBT people. Or he’s just a liar. According to the available evidence, the answer is “all of the above.” Pence spent the weekend standing athwart intelligence and screaming “STOP!”, most notably on the George Stephanopoulos Sunday Teevee Funtimes Mimosa Hour, where he attempted to defend his decision to sign Indiana’s new Fuck The Gays bill, known by its supporters as a totally necessary safeguard protecting their precious religious freedom. Read more on Indiana Gov. Mike Pence: I Proudly Signed Some Anti-Gay Sh*t I Don’t Understand…
  buh-bye

Fred Phelps Is In Heaven Now, Calling The Apostles Faggots

Wait, you are saying, how could the world’s most out-and-proud bigot, who purposely inflicted emotional pain on the innocent, be in HEAVEN? Wonket, this must be that “satire” or “snark” of which we’ve heard so much? Sorry dudes, but according to our junior high nuns, if you act according to your sincere beliefs, you are not a sinner, and you get to enjoy eternal bliss at the feet of the Father, whether you are Catholic, Hindoo, Godless atheist, or Fred Phelps. And if Fred Phelps did anything, it was act according to his sincere beliefs. Since our nuns — who showed us Romero, told us sex was a beautiful gift from a loving God, and were general all-around-communists who were right about everything — were obviously (like we just said) right about everything, what does that mean for the “Reverend” Fred Phelps’s enjoyment of eternal love? Let’s fagsplore. Read more on Fred Phelps Is In Heaven Now, Calling The Apostles Faggots…
  you can check out any time you like

Wait A Minute, Did You Know The Westboro Baptist Church Girls Are Super Pretty?

So today Buzzfeed is all “Blah blah blah these girls left the Westboro Baptist Church and are sort of vaguely sorry they hurt people’s feelings when they screamed God hates fags a million times per second and also Muslins and Amerikkka.” But did Buzzfeed miss its own scoop? Yes. (Well, also it missed this guy’s scoop.) And that scoop is that Megan Phelps-Roper and her sister Grace are totally beautiful. See that video? That is them, just cold bein’ stunning and pre-Raphaelite. Like, really pre-Raphaelite. Like, they should be washing their creamy breasts beside a sparkling stream, their shimmering hair unbound to their waists, because maidens. Like, AMERICA FUCK YEAH! Even our cults are full of the hottest chicks! Read more on Wait A Minute, Did You Know The Westboro Baptist Church Girls Are Super Pretty?…
  god hates democrats

Bikers Save Newtown Funerals From Left-Wing Cult ‘God Hates Fags’

Everybody go hug a biker today! Not only did they show up in Newtown to physically block the view of Newtown mourners from the God Hates Fags funeral parade, but they also apparently blocked the sight of “left-wing” protesters … “left-wing protesters” like God Hates Fags! Wait, what? Take it away, Internet’s Second Stupidest Man, the Gateway Pundit, in your tour de force “Conservative Bikers Turn Out to Protect Newtown Mourners from Left-Wing Westboro Cult”: Read more on Bikers Save Newtown Funerals From Left-Wing Cult ‘God Hates Fags’…
  together at last

Sad Unloved Rush Limbaugh Will Not Air Ad From Only Friend Westboro Baptist Church

You’d think a guy in Rush Limbaugh’s currently rather unenviable position would take all the help he can get — but apparently he is turning down sweet sweet ad $$$ just because it comes from the patriots of the God Hates Fags Brigade. Westboro spokesman Steve Drain told Raw Story that while his organization has had their differences with Limbaugh, they were on the same page when it came to labeling Georgetown University law student Sandra Fluke a slut. “Even a blind hog can get an acorn every once in a while,” Drain explained. “We’re not aligning ourselves with Rush Limbaugh because as we say on our website about him, he wouldn’t recognize Bible truths if it were a bottle of pills sitting on his desk.” Read more on Sad Unloved Rush Limbaugh Will Not Air Ad From Only Friend Westboro Baptist Church…
 

Crazy God People To Protest Heath Ledger’s Funeral

In case you haven’t been to a website recently, famous Australian actor Heath Ledger died Tuesday. Sucks to be him. As you may remember, Ledger played a homosexual, mute cowboy in the film Brokeback Mountain, which was groundbreaking because it depicted gay sex for the first time in world history. It seems that this *fictional* role, in which the *fictional* gay cowboy *fictionally* questioned God, has led a radical Baptist church in Kansas to protest his memorial service, which is not *fictional*. Politician Mike Huckabee is also a radical Baptist, so we’ll run with this. Read more on Crazy God People To Protest Heath Ledger’s Funeral…