America’s favorite doctor, Ron Paul, is struggling with demons we cannot even begin to comprehend. Here he is whining to an empty House of Representatives last night, about the night terrors he suffers and the horrifying intrusion of interdimensional orcs into his waking life. [YouTube]

Ho ho ho, street thug Barack Obama is gonna kick whitey’s ass clear back to Texas! Wait, what is this horrible thing? Oh, a fanzine for, uh, Ron Paul, the brief and inexplicable Internet fad of late 2007. (At least LOLcats were kind of funny!) Well listen up socialists, the elderly Texan congressman and very loosely aligned Republican is still alive and still has a few fans. They got together and made this “DIY” magazine. One of them drew this picture. For a donation of $500, you can hang a copy of this very drawing on your dorm wall or whatever. Chicks love this shit! Youth! MORE »

Remember this one? Looks like her wrists healed up, and she covered the Ron Paul sticker on her dresser with a flaggy thing. And WTF with the weird cuts and the kids’ ball that keeps appearing in different parts of her bedroom? Oh my god there is a CHILD loose in there, trying to ruin mom’s McCain commentary! She’s got 172 videos, like this one, of her belly, after the Surgery, and of course this one that breaks the Olympics/Bilderberg/2008 conspiracy, finally! [YouTube]

Ancient midget John McCain is the “presumptive GOP nominee,” which is why he continues to struggle in Republican state primaries that nobody else is really paying attention to, because of the Obama-Hillary wrasslin’ match. Last night, the angry old man won just 72.7% of the GOP vote. Mike Huckabee, who dropped out of the race several years ago, still managed an impressive 11.4% — “impressive” to losers like Guiliani and Thompson, at least! But you’ll never guess who came in second place last night. MORE »

Ron Paul’s remaining seventeen fans are not just going to idly sit by and watch Obama and Hillary have a big contest in Pennsylvania. No sir! This is why, in the Democratic Primary being held tomorrow, Pennsylvania voters should, uh, vote against Hillary by choosing … Ron Paul? MORE »

“Romney’s thrilled about his Magical Mormon victory in Nevada, where nobody but Romney (and Ron Paul!) bothered to campaign. It’s a very, very important victory, according to Romney. And CNN just cut off Hillary so we could hear Romney trot out another old story about his wife. But the best part of the Nevada GOP results is, obviously, Dr. Congressman Paul’s performance. He’s in second place, 200 votes ahead of McCain and three thousand votes ahead of Rudy Giuliani. Go Ron Paul! [Guardian]

OMFG the Paultards flooded online polls again after the CNBC debate and the mean CNBC people took down the polls because Ron Paul won with 75%. Try some FREEDOM, fascists! [Daily Paul]

Just hours ago, we brought you the charming story of Mitt, Rudy, Walnuts and Fred saying “no thanks, black people” to the Tavis Smiley debate at the “historically black college in Baltimore.” Well guess who else gets no love from the Republican Frontrunners? Poor white people who believe in Jesus! MORE »

Have you heard about Ron Paul? No? Then this must be your first time on the Internet. Welcome! You can catch up on the news, find out where to buy pills to fix up your broken penis, and mostly learn about Ron Paul, “the Internet President.” Over at our sister site Gizmodo, editor Brian Lam is getting spammed by the Paultards because … well, because Gizmodo is on the Internet, too! MORE »