Tag: GM

WWKD

Your Car Might Be Lying To The Government And Other Recall News From Corporate America

Nobody's perfect, not even even our biggest and brightest Corporate Persons. That's why the Big Guys keep healthy financial reserves, insurance policies, and often the ability to write off legal settlements for tax purposes. This is totally different from...
Guess I should've known from the way he parked his car sideways...

Old Handsome Joe Biden Gets His Motor Running At Detroit Auto Show

Hey there, Old Handsome Joe Biden! How you liking the motorcars at the Detroit Auto Show? Too bad the Secret Service won't let you take a literal victory lap, but the metaphorical kind isn't bad, either: “What a difference five...

Wonksplainer! How Losing $11 Billion On GM Stock Is Actually Reasonably Awesome

Good news, wonkeroos: Your U.S. American government no longer owns any stock in General Motors! So no more lame 'government motors' jokes by people who would have rather seen an entire industry and a million jobs move offshore! The headline...

Steve Doocy Explains: Mitt Romney Saved The Auto Industry!

Don't, by any means, click on the above video of Steve Doocy explainering that Mitt Romney saved the auto industry. We cannot be held responsible if you ignore our warnings and your eyeballs fall out of your head and...

GOP Car Salesman/House Candidate Charged With Car-Lot Sex Attack

A grotesque 68-year-old car salesman, Republican "young gun" (?!) and failed Senate/House candidate from Ohio has been charged with "three felony charges of gross sexual imposition, and single counts of kidnapping, abduction, solicitation, and menacing by stalking." Tea Party-endorsed...

GM Earns Big Profit, Pays $4,300 Checks To 45,000 Labor Union Workers

General Motors is sure sounding communist these days. Maybe Scott Walker and Pedobear can catch a limo ride from the Koch Brothers over to Detroit, and then they can kill all these union members for working so hard on...

Oh Basil, You Were Too Good For This World

Traffic stops will continue unabated in the not-so-great state of Tennessee, as Basil Marceaux incomprehensibly goes down in defeat in his race for the GOP gubernatorial nomination! The only consolation is that secessionist Zach Wamp and Lt. Gov. Ron...

Ohio Car Salesman Will Stop At Nothing To Get His Dealership Back

The most honest and beloved businessman in America is of course the noble auto dealer. Anyone who's ever bought a new car can remember only good things about the experience! And dealerships have elaborate legal protections in...

Internet Star Barack Obama Talked About Twitter Like The Whole Time He Was Abroad

Obama told Chinese teenagers about the uncensored Internet, a mediocre collection of re-purposed AP articles and some videos that generally people only like when it's not available.  Over at some United Nations summit, everyone bonded about how much they...

WRONG WRONG WRONG

By the Comics CurmudgeonLook, one of the things we namby-pamby liberals get critiqued for is our inability to just stand up and show some moral courage, to say that some things are right and some are wrong. Usually we're...

HOORAY! Says the CEO of the now-bankrupt General Motors: "The GM you knew, the GM that let so many of you down, is history." Stocks are just cold going nuts, Dow up 215+ at the moment.

Liveblogging Obama Creating ‘Government Motors’

Wow it's morning so that means Barack Obama is giving televised remarks about the latest failed giant business he's buying us for Ramadan. General Motors! "The collapse of these companies would've been devastating to America," etc., yes we know,...

PUMAs Loose On Streets

It's the post you've been waiting for, the one where we point out that the acronym for a certain fanciful robot-car for lazy urban dorks is the same as the acronym for bitterly disenfranchised Hillary Clinton voters, har! Mark...

A Children’s Treasury Of Stupid Cartoons About the Auto Industry

By the Comics CurmudgeonIf you asked the average American in olden times (1960) what glories would await them, auto-wise, in the Mysterious Future Year of 2009, they would be all like "flying cars" and "nuclear-powered cars" and "cars operated...

Richard Cohen Simply Doesn’t Care For These Auto-Industry Bailouts

When Richard Cohen was a child -- back in the good old days when people stoically died of everything, and our best days (The Beatles/Civil Rights) were still ahead, and there were bookstores filled not with these Blackberries, but...

New Depression Trend: Laid-Off Workers Attack Each Other

Ever get the feeling that your country has become one of those places where this kind of thing is always making it to the nightly news in rich countries?