Tag Archives: global warming

  But no camps!

Texas Happy To Let Obama Invade With FEMA Now Please

Don't fall for it, Texas! Drowning is better than federal tyranny!
Here’s President Barack Obama explaining Tuesday that he’s ready to direct federal aid to Texas, which has suffered deadly flooding since the weekend, with more rain and flash flooding on the way. At least 31 people have died in storms that have hit Oklahoma, Texas, and Mexico, and 13 people are still missing. Strangely, almost nobody in Texas is refusing the offer of federal aid, with the possible exception of keyboard warriors like “Liberty Prime,” whose comment on the YouTube video above is simply “Us texans don’t want you here obama!!!!” Read more on Texas Happy To Let Obama Invade With FEMA Now Please…
  Who Will Be His Secretary of Patchouli?

Sure, Rand Paul Is Now A Tree Hugger, Why Not?

Oh, wow...his vibe is groovy for like 5 minutes, and then he's, like, a massive bummer
In yet another attempt to convince people who aren’t paying attention that he’s a totally different kind of Republican, Rand Paul has come out as a self-proclaimed “tree hugger” who thinks composting is groovy and that clean air and water are good things. These and other exciting revelations are in Paul’s exciting new book-shaped object that you couldn’t pay us enough to read, Taking a Stand: Moving Beyond Partisan Politics to Unite America, in bookstores today and coming soon to a remainders shelf near you. Read more on Sure, Rand Paul Is Now A Tree Hugger, Why Not?…
  Global Worming

Jeb Bush: People Need To Stop Being So Uppity About Climate Science

Honestly, what do we know, even?
Jeb Bush has had just about enough of these people who think that science actually proves anything, and he’s not going to let Barack Obama get away with arrogantly telling people that climate change is real, or that we know why it’s happening. So Wednesday, after the President devoted much of his commencement address at the Coast Guard Academy to discussing the national security implications of climate change, Bush just couldn’t hold his tongue anymore, and not just because he had slobber all over his fingers again. Climate change may be real, Bush said, but let’s not get carried away and treat it like a significant priority or anything. Read more on Jeb Bush: People Need To Stop Being So Uppity About Climate Science…
  Sins Of Emissions

While We Were Filling Up Our Pickups, China Cut Greenhouse Gas A Whole Bunch

The LSD in the water supply may help, too
Some cautious good news on climate, maybe! China has reduced its emissions of greenhouse gases by a big whole lot, according to Greenpeace — about an 8 percent reduction in coal use in the first four months of 2015 compared to 2014. And because China is on the enormous side, as countries and economies go, those Chinese reductions in carbon dioxide equal to more than the total output of C02 in the UK for the same period. So yay, slight reduction in greenhouse gases for a limited period! It all helps. Read more on While We Were Filling Up Our Pickups, China Cut Greenhouse Gas A Whole Bunch…
  Unleash The 'Laying Pipe' Jokes

Iowa Farmer Won’t Sell Land To Oil Company For One Lousy Whore

New frontiers in bad photoshopping!
This post supported by a grant from the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for coverage of oil spills, pipelines, fracking, and Dear God What Is This About Whores? The Keystone XL pipeline isn’t quite dead yet, even though Barack Obama personally strangled it (sort of) back in February. There’s no shortage of other pipelines being prepared to leak all over this great land, and the oil industry is working on some inventive new methods of persuasion when it comes to getting the filthy things. If money doesn’t work, how about offering landowners some prostitutes, maybe? Or at least, that’s what — um, whom? — was on offer from a land agent for the proposed Bakken Pipeline, according to southeast Iowa farmer Hughie Tweedie, who says that he has recordings of two conversations in which the land agent offered him the services of “an 18-year-old prostitute” in exchange for the right to lay some pipe on Tweedie’s property. In a news conference at the Iowa statehouse in Des Moines Monday, Hughie said, “On these recordings you will hear evidence of my senior pipeline representative offering me not once, not twice, but three times the sexual services of a woman, the last time being a $1200 teenage prostitute.” Read more on Iowa Farmer Won’t Sell Land To Oil Company For One Lousy Whore…
  Follow The Money...And Hold Your Nose

Big Oil: All Your Tax Dollars Are Belong To Us

Worth every penny
This post supported by a grant from the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for coverage of oil spills, pipelines, fracking, and subsidizing our own demise via Global Warming Just in case you were wondering, America is still shoveling huge amounts of taxpayer money at fossil fuel companies, because without tax incentives, the poor dears would be unable to turn a profit. Or at least, unable to pile up higher record profits. And we’d never have any jobs ever again! Or something. The Guardian brings us a fun investigation of just a few of the wonderful ways in which the world’s richest corporations are receiving big taxpayer bucks — and would you believe the subsidies for each of the three projects they looked at just happened to be pushed by politicians who received nice fat campaign contributions from the oil industry? You would? Gosh, that’s pretty cynical of you. Keep it up. Read more on Big Oil: All Your Tax Dollars Are Belong To Us…
  Have A Reality? This Guy Will Deny It!

Holocaust-Denying Dude Has GREAT Idea: ‘Nuremberg Trials’ For Climate Scientists!

And he was such a nice young man
So here’s something you don’t see every day: A guy who says the Holocaust never happened — or was, you know, “greatly exaggerated” — is now calling for “Nuremberg Trial nastiness” for climate scientists and other criminals who have wrecked the economy and freedom. Let’s Wonksplore what may be the dumbest rightwing stupidity we’ve read all week — although we do need to caution that Erik Rush’s column at WND doesn’t come out until Thursdays. Read more on Holocaust-Denying Dude Has GREAT Idea: ‘Nuremberg Trials’ For Climate Scientists!…
  A Great Time To Major In Not Studying Things

Republicans Slash Money For NASA Because NASA Might Use It For Science

Go home, NASA, you're drunk
The House Science Committee, in a move that took absolutely no one by surprise, voted last week to slash NASA’s budget for Earth sciences, because apparently the planet we live on has had enough science done to it and doesn’t need any more. NASA is supposed to be about rockets and heroic space stuff, so the agency’s budget did get a nice additional $200 million for space flight, while roughly $300 million has been cut from the 2016-2017 budget for Earth sciences. Take that, Earth! Read more on Republicans Slash Money For NASA Because NASA Might Use It For Science…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments: This One’s About Vaccines And Vaginas!

Vacation plan: Clean apartment, finish reading that Twain biography. Vacation reality: Booze & MLP fanfic
Oh, Wonkers, we have some beautiful deletia for you this week! Looks to us like some people have really been working overtime in the Derp Mines to bring us this fine assortment of stupidity. For starters, we have this thought-provoking bit of turnabout from “John Smith” (Real name: “Bob Johnson”), who understands that Bobby Jindal just wants to protect Liberty from the homos. Just think about this — would you libs really be so hot on forcing Christians to provide services to gay people if it also meant that gay people would have to serve people with whom they have traditionally been at Culture War? Read more on Deleted Comments: This One’s About Vaccines And Vaginas!…
  Let's Go Kill Some Scientists

Wingnut Columnist: Neil DeGrasse Tyson Is A Bad Scientist, Could Someone Please Kill Him?

Works for media literacy too.
WordNetDaily columnist Erik “The Other Rush” Rush — he really calls himself that — would like to share with you some Thoughts About Science, which mostly boil down to: science is nice when it gives us flatscreen TVs and atomic bombs, but we’d better not trust the “scientific community” because it’s full of atheists and socialists who are trying to set themselves up as some kinds of authorities on stuff that they have no business talking about, like the age of the Earth, how life came to be on Earth and whether it’s getting hotter, none of which they really know a damn thing about. And by the end of his meditations on science, he actually appears to say it would be OK to kill a few scientists, if that’s what’s necessary to preserve Liberty. Read more on Wingnut Columnist: Neil DeGrasse Tyson Is A Bad Scientist, Could Someone Please Kill Him?…
  Keep Watching The Skies!

Chemtrail Loons Yell At Arizona Congressman For Not Being Total Dipsh*t

The truth is out there. Very, very far out there
Here’s how nutso the Chemtrail People are: they’re actually too crazy for a Tea Partier, Arizona Republican congresscritter Paul Gosar, DDS, who got yelled at by an assortment of chemtrail enthusiasts at Monday’s meeting of the Conservative Republican Club of Kingman. Kingman appears to be a hotbed of Chemtrail Trutherdom, as we’ve reported before. The wingnuts in the audience were not pleased by Gosar’s complete denial of the international weather modification plot — popularly known as chemtrails — that is poisoning us from the skies! Read more on Chemtrail Loons Yell At Arizona Congressman For Not Being Total Dipsh*t…
  Do We Really Need All This Knowledge?

House Science Committee Solves Climate Change By Just Not Studying It

Who wouldn't like a nice warm planet?
Good news, America! The House Science Committee is going to help solve global warming and other problems by cutting the funding to study them! If you don’t have a bunch of scientists getting rich off climate studies, there won’t be a lot of scary data to worry about, and America will be richer and happier. Strangely, they haven’t proposed curing cancer by this simple expedient…yet. Read more on House Science Committee Solves Climate Change By Just Not Studying It…
  but did he summon Beetlejuice?

Florida Appointee Utters ‘Climate Change’ Three Times In Succession, Summons Devil Himself

Did somebody say my name???
Florida, soon to be known as the “Look, Mom, I’m In The Ocean!” state, due to the fact that the liberal conspiracy of “climate change” is fixin’ to sink it real good, has been in the news lately, over the fact that you may or may not be allowed to utter the words “climate change,” if you work for Florida’s Department Of Environmental Protection (DEP). It’s not a written policy, of course — it’s just more UNDERSTOOD that, if you want to remain in good standing with your Koch Brothers-owned state gubmint, you’d better be pretty careful about saying … THOSE WORDS. Democratic state senators have been enjoying bullying Gov. Rick Scott’s various minions, trying to set evil liberal traps that force them to say the bad words, which describe something that 97% of climate scientists agree is a real, true thing. Read more on Florida Appointee Utters ‘Climate Change’ Three Times In Succession, Summons Devil Himself…
  Bummer About The Congressional Seat Though

It’s Come To This: Republican Wins JFK ‘Courage’ Prize For Believing Science

So here’s how bad our political world has gotten: The 2015 recipient of the John F. Kennedy Profile in Courage Award is former South Carolina congressman Bob Inglis, who won the award for being an actual Republican who’s willing to say in public that climate change is real and caused by human activity. Apparently that is rare enough that it’s considered courageous. Read more on It’s Come To This: Republican Wins JFK ‘Courage’ Prize For Believing Science…
  Sucks To Your Ass-Mar

Obama Says Climate Change Causes Asthma; Republicans Immediately Stop Breathing To Show Him Who’s Boss

Oh, look at him acting like he Knows Things
Despite the fact that only 97% of climate scientists are convinced that global warming is real, President Barack Obama nonetheless met with medical and scientific experts Tuesday for a roundtable discussion of the public health impacts of climate change. You’d almost think that there’s a problem or something! Read more on Obama Says Climate Change Causes Asthma; Republicans Immediately Stop Breathing To Show Him Who’s Boss…
  Wishful Thinking Is Totally Different From Denial

ALEC: Global Warming Is Real, And We Think It’s FABULOUS

Well THERE'S yer problem...
Good news, everyone! The American Legislative Exchange Council, everyone’s favorite corporate whore lobbying national legislative information-sharing group promoting free-market values, is officially not a nest of climate deniers. And if you say they are, they’ll send you a pissy cease-and-desist letter, so there. Read more on ALEC: Global Warming Is Real, And We Think It’s FABULOUS…