global warming
Apocalyptic Weather Fools Americans Into Thinking Climate Change Is Real
Here is some exciting news we almost missed: Despite the yeoman’s service performed by Fox News in explaining to its panicky viewership how global warming was just a hoax invented by the Weather Channel in a cynical plot to gin up ratings, it seems that the never-ending string of Rick Perry’s failed rain dances, the [...]
Former Celebrity Apprentice Contestant Jose Canseco Accidentally Murders Poor Al Gore
It seems like maybe Jose Canseco is not that smart of a guy. (And no, Magic Johnson is probably not going to hire him at 1B for the new, improved, mostly-McCourt-free Dodgers.) HOWEVER! He is very sweetly (and dumbly) Twitzing away with cool ideas for how to reduce your energy bills and save the world [...]
Ron Paul’s Iowa Campaign Hoping For Catastrophic Death Blizzard
Thanks to the Republicans destroying the Earth’s climate, Iowa is expected to be warm and dry and sunny on January 3. This is apparently very bad news for Ron Paul, because the lack of the usual Iowa Blizzard on Caucus Day means that the regular old Republican welfare-farmer corn-syrup farmers on their Medicare-provided Hoverounds might [...]
Massive U.S. Power Outages To Get Much Worse, More Frequent
Oh, sad face again: Millions are still without power in the U.S. Northeast, for about the fifth time this year. Whether caused by hurricanes, October blizzards, tornadoes, earthquakes or mysteriously unknown reasons, the East Coast has been slammed by one catastrophic blackout after another. And experts say it’s just going to get worse, everywhere, as [...]
Couch Potato Children Now Forced To Consider Possibility of Climate Change
It used to be that parents could just plop their fat little children in front of “Ren & Stimpy” for hours without having to worry a bit about the little ones being attacked by “knowledge” or “science.” But this is the age of Obama and librul media and Sharia law, etc., so naturally the days [...]
Bill Nye Explains To Fox News Moon Volcanoes Don’t Cause Global Warming
Bill Nye the Science Guy! We remember him. “Bill Nye the Science Guy” was a 90s television program on PBS Kids that taught science in fun and accessible ways to children. Explaining science to children, you might say, is Bill Nye’s great gift. Here is Bill Nye talking to Fox News anchor Jon Scott about [...]
To Stop Climate Change, GOP Suggests Clearing World’s Rainforests
Republican Congressman Dana Rohrabacher is a senior member on the House Committee on Science, so it’s no surprise that he’s … uh, insane? This is Rep. Rohrabacher’s big idea about how to fix the Global Warming crisis: “Is there some thought being given to subsidizing the clearing of rain forests in order for some countries [...]
Fires Rage & Farms Dry Up Across the Oklahoma-Texas New Dust Bowl
A devilish hoax called Global Warming is wreaking havoc on the un-ironically named “Dust Bowl,” where the worst drought since the 1920s is turning cropfields to scorched earth while savage wildfires turn the remaining forests into, well, scorched trees. The rains never arrived during “rainy season” and now it’s only the second week of Spring [...]
Troubled Former Cute Baby Ice Bear Knut Drops Dead
It’s amazing he lasted this long. He was dead inside years ago. Veterinary experts performed a necropsy Monday on Berlin zoo’s celebrity polar bear Knut to try to determine why he died suddenly over the weekend. The four-year-old polar bear died Saturday afternoon in front of visitors, turning around several times and then dropping to [...]
House GOP Ends Climate-Change Committee Because It’s Not Real
Because Republicans won a majority in the House in the 2010 elections, climate change no longer exists. Hooray! Jim Sensenbrenner announced that Republicans will be getting rid of the Select Committee on Energy Independence and Global Warming when they take over, so it held its last hearing today so everyone could sign each other’s climate-change [...]
Michelle Obama Cramps America’s Style With Her ‘Sharia-Couture’
Michelle Antoinette’s fashion atrocities continue to destroy lives overseas, but worry not, the fashion police are hot on her Allah-chic heels. [Michelle Obama's Mirror] Give the gift of jar-fetus to all the loved ones this Christmas with a Planned Parenthood buy-one get-one-free abortion coupon. [Now Public] Obviously you can’t water the Tree of Liberty with [...]
Climate Change Campaign Makes Gross Video, Tries To Hide It, Fails
A bunch of Hollywood types in, uh, England got together to make a fun movie about how people should try to reduce the carbon emissions, even though it’s too late. (Ha ha, what is happening in Los Angeles today? How about DC and New York?) Anyway this is the movie the group made and then [...]
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