Tag Archives: global warming

  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments: This One’s About Vaccines And Vaginas!

Vacation plan: Clean apartment, finish reading that Twain biography. Vacation reality: Booze & MLP fanfic
Oh, Wonkers, we have some beautiful deletia for you this week! Looks to us like some people have really been working overtime in the Derp Mines to bring us this fine assortment of stupidity. For starters, we have this thought-provoking bit of turnabout from “John Smith” (Real name: “Bob Johnson”), who understands that Bobby Jindal just wants to protect Liberty from the homos. Just think about this — would you libs really be so hot on forcing Christians to provide services to gay people if it also meant that gay people would have to serve people with whom they have traditionally been at Culture War? Read more on Deleted Comments: This One’s About Vaccines And Vaginas!…
  Let's Go Kill Some Scientists

Wingnut Columnist: Neil DeGrasse Tyson Is A Bad Scientist, Could Someone Please Kill Him?

Works for media literacy too.
WordNetDaily columnist Erik “The Other Rush” Rush — he really calls himself that — would like to share with you some Thoughts About Science, which mostly boil down to: science is nice when it gives us flatscreen TVs and atomic bombs, but we’d better not trust the “scientific community” because it’s full of atheists and socialists who are trying to set themselves up as some kinds of authorities on stuff that they have no business talking about, like the age of the Earth, how life came to be on Earth and whether it’s getting hotter, none of which they really know a damn thing about. And by the end of his meditations on science, he actually appears to say it would be OK to kill a few scientists, if that’s what’s necessary to preserve Liberty. Read more on Wingnut Columnist: Neil DeGrasse Tyson Is A Bad Scientist, Could Someone Please Kill Him?…
  Keep Watching The Skies!

Chemtrail Loons Yell At Arizona Congressman For Not Being Total Dipsh*t

The truth is out there. Very, very far out there
Here’s how nutso the Chemtrail People are: they’re actually too crazy for a Tea Partier, Arizona Republican congresscritter Paul Gosar, DDS, who got yelled at by an assortment of chemtrail enthusiasts at Monday’s meeting of the Conservative Republican Club of Kingman. Kingman appears to be a hotbed of Chemtrail Trutherdom, as we’ve reported before. The wingnuts in the audience were not pleased by Gosar’s complete denial of the international weather modification plot — popularly known as chemtrails — that is poisoning us from the skies! Read more on Chemtrail Loons Yell At Arizona Congressman For Not Being Total Dipsh*t…
  Do We Really Need All This Knowledge?

House Science Committee Solves Climate Change By Just Not Studying It

Who wouldn't like a nice warm planet?
Good news, America! The House Science Committee is going to help solve global warming and other problems by cutting the funding to study them! If you don’t have a bunch of scientists getting rich off climate studies, there won’t be a lot of scary data to worry about, and America will be richer and happier. Strangely, they haven’t proposed curing cancer by this simple expedient…yet. Read more on House Science Committee Solves Climate Change By Just Not Studying It…
  but did he summon Beetlejuice?

Florida Appointee Utters ‘Climate Change’ Three Times In Succession, Summons Devil Himself

Did somebody say my name???
Florida, soon to be known as the “Look, Mom, I’m In The Ocean!” state, due to the fact that the liberal conspiracy of “climate change” is fixin’ to sink it real good, has been in the news lately, over the fact that you may or may not be allowed to utter the words “climate change,” if you work for Florida’s Department Of Environmental Protection (DEP). It’s not a written policy, of course — it’s just more UNDERSTOOD that, if you want to remain in good standing with your Koch Brothers-owned state gubmint, you’d better be pretty careful about saying … THOSE WORDS. Democratic state senators have been enjoying bullying Gov. Rick Scott’s various minions, trying to set evil liberal traps that force them to say the bad words, which describe something that 97% of climate scientists agree is a real, true thing. Read more on Florida Appointee Utters ‘Climate Change’ Three Times In Succession, Summons Devil Himself…
  Bummer About The Congressional Seat Though

It’s Come To This: Republican Wins JFK ‘Courage’ Prize For Believing Science

So here’s how bad our political world has gotten: The 2015 recipient of the John F. Kennedy Profile in Courage Award is former South Carolina congressman Bob Inglis, who won the award for being an actual Republican who’s willing to say in public that climate change is real and caused by human activity. Apparently that is rare enough that it’s considered courageous. Read more on It’s Come To This: Republican Wins JFK ‘Courage’ Prize For Believing Science…
  Sucks To Your Ass-Mar

Obama Says Climate Change Causes Asthma; Republicans Immediately Stop Breathing To Show Him Who’s Boss

Oh, look at him acting like he Knows Things
Despite the fact that only 97% of climate scientists are convinced that global warming is real, President Barack Obama nonetheless met with medical and scientific experts Tuesday for a roundtable discussion of the public health impacts of climate change. You’d almost think that there’s a problem or something! Read more on Obama Says Climate Change Causes Asthma; Republicans Immediately Stop Breathing To Show Him Who’s Boss…
  Wishful Thinking Is Totally Different From Denial

ALEC: Global Warming Is Real, And We Think It’s FABULOUS

Well THERE'S yer problem...
Good news, everyone! The American Legislative Exchange Council, everyone’s favorite corporate whore lobbying national legislative information-sharing group promoting free-market values, is officially not a nest of climate deniers. And if you say they are, they’ll send you a pissy cease-and-desist letter, so there. Read more on ALEC: Global Warming Is Real, And We Think It’s FABULOUS…
  It's Getting Hot In Herre

Republican Senators: Can You Explain Climate Change To Us, EPA, So We Can Not Believe You Some More?

Gina McCarthy: Suspiciously cozy with Big Science
Gosh, this ought to go well: Some of the biggest climate deniers in the Senate want the EPA to school them on how climate modeling works. No doubt this is so they can gain a greater appreciation of just how complex science is, so they can marvel at how great our understanding of the natural world is. That, or they’re looking for stuff they can cherry-pick out of context to claim that global warming is a hoax, and we should start burning all the coal we can dig up before Jesus comes back. Read more on Republican Senators: Can You Explain Climate Change To Us, EPA, So We Can Not Believe You Some More?…
  patriotism

Republicans Tire Of Telling Americans Obama Isn’t Really President, Decide To Inform The U.N. Instead

President In Name Only
So this is how the Republican Party is going to proceed until they finally repeal President Obama from the White House: The Obama administration’s plan for U.N. climate change talks encountered swift opposition after its release Tuesday, with Republican leaders warning other countries to “proceed with caution” in negotiations with Washington because any deal could be later undone. Tuesday’s announcement by the White House that it had submitted a plan to the UN Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCCC) to reduce carbon emissions, per an agreement made in November between President Obama and Chinese President Xi Jinping, is the sort of thing that shouldn’t be controversial because reducing greenhouse gases benefits everyone — even Republicans! Read more on Republicans Tire Of Telling Americans Obama Isn’t Really President, Decide To Inform The U.N. Instead…
  Next She'll Say Poverty Causes Crime Or Something

Crazy CA Rep. Barbara Lee: Global Warming Will Turn Womenfolk Into Common Whores

What a nut!
So you know how from time to time we have a good laugh at the logic of wingnut politicians and preachers who claim a causal link between two obviously disparate things, like “taking prayer out of the schools led to Sandy Hook” or “Gays, abortion, and the ACLU caused 9/11″ — that sort of thing? Well, thank goodness, now the rightwing has an example of a completely insane causal connection being predicted by a Democrat, so we suppose we’d better shut up! You see, California Rep. Barbara Lee has this crazy idea that global warming will turn women into prostitutes! Read more on Crazy CA Rep. Barbara Lee: Global Warming Will Turn Womenfolk Into Common Whores…
  Take A Cruz On Denial

Now It Is Ted Cruz Who Is Poor Persecuted Galileo, And Climate Scientists Are The Church

Get your denier bingo cards out!
In a bravura performance Tuesday, Ted Cruz crammed an astonishing number of lies about global warming into four minutes of a longer interview with Texas Tribune reporter Jay Root. It was really pretty impressive! Cruz asserted that “we should follow the science and follow the evidence” on climate change, and then proceeded to reel off a whole catalogue of distortions, half-truths, and outright lies that have been refuted again and again. He hit just about every space on the Climate Denial Bingo card; for the sake of our sanity, we won’t refute everything he said, just some of our favorite stretchers. Read more on Now It Is Ted Cruz Who Is Poor Persecuted Galileo, And Climate Scientists Are The Church…
  Rick Management

Florida State Senators Taunt Emergency Chief: You Ain’t Allowed To Say ‘Climate Change’!

love the audience reaction here
Florida’s Senate had entirely too much fun taunting Gov. Rick Scott’s head of emergency management last week, trying to get Bryan Koon to say the words “climate change,” which, as we all know, is a Banned Word of Power in Florida’s executive branch these days. And who can blame them? Who wouldn’t love the chance to make the guy squirm, knowing that he has orders — even though of course Scott says there’s no ban on the words. Really? Then why won’t you say those words, Mr. Koon? You know the words. SAY THE WORDS. Read more on Florida State Senators Taunt Emergency Chief: You Ain’t Allowed To Say ‘Climate Change’!…
  Instead Of 'Floodng' Let's Just Say 'Boatable Streets'

Florida Employee Says ‘Climate Change,’ Has To Write ‘Science Is A Lie’ 10,000 Times

So it's a little water. Big deal.
So there’s this “Florida” place that’s gradually being swallowed by the ocean, what with rising sea levels. But Gov. Rick Scott is quite sure that isn’t really happening, because he is pretty much the mayor of Amity Island in Jaws.* If nobody in Florida government says “climate change” or “global warming,” the problem will just go away. Actually, what problem? There is no shark sea level rise problem. Plenty of land still above water, please come to Florida and build some more condos, won’t you? Read more on Florida Employee Says ‘Climate Change,’ Has To Write ‘Science Is A Lie’ 10,000 Times…
  Revenge Of The Sea Level

FEMA To States: You Want Cash? Say Climate Change Is Real. SAY IT!

No Disaster Preparedness Funds for you!
In an elegant reply to politicians who aren’t scientists but don’t mind ignoring experts who are, the Federal Emergency Management Agency has come up with a simple solution: States whose governors decide there’s no need to plan for the consequences of a changing climate will no longer qualify for federal grants for emergency preparedness. For climate deniers like Louisiana’s Bobby Jindal, Florida’s Rick Scott, or Texas’s Greg Abbott, it’s a pretty clear opportunity for them to put their coastlines and their populations where their mouths are. Governors who refuse to consider climate in their states’ hazard mitigation plans could lose hundreds of millions of dollars in FEMA money. Read more on FEMA To States: You Want Cash? Say Climate Change Is Real. SAY IT!…
  Ground Control To Major Ted

Hero Ted Cruz Will Save Us All From NASA Studying Our Climate

JPL'S Orbiting Carbon Observatory 2
Ted Cruz is pretty darn annoyed with NASA these days, seeing as how it’s just been wasting a lot of taxpayer money studying the climate and foolishness like that. For heaven’s sake, everyone knows that NASA is supposed to be about space, and there is no climate in space. And that’s why he was ready to give a good talking-to to NASA Administrator Charles Bolden about all these stupid satellites that NASA has looking down at boring old Earth and its atmosphere and oceans, instead of looking out at other, more interesting things that are far away. So Cruz, who chairs the subcommittee that oversees NASA, kicked off a hearing last Thursday by asking Bolden just why NASA is ignoring its key mission of doing science to things that won’t cause problems for the fossil fuel industry. Read more on Hero Ted Cruz Will Save Us All From NASA Studying Our Climate…
  Here have some news n stuff

Republican Senator So Sick Of Everyone Saying Obamacare’s Doing Just GREAT, Actually

He laughs at their pain
It sure sucks having to hear about how President Obama’s dumb health care reform is doing swell, actually, huh? It’s covering more people than expected, it’s cheaper than expected, it’s saving the country more money than expected — and as long as you don’t tell people what it is (it is health care reform brought to you by a black president, shhhhhhhhhh), people actually quite like it! But don’t say that to Wyoming Sen. John Barrasso, because he doesn’t want to hear another word about it: Read more on Republican Senator So Sick Of Everyone Saying Obamacare’s Doing Just GREAT, Actually…
  Have A Koch And A Smile

Koch Brothers: Sorry, 1st Amendment Won’t Let Us Divulge How We’re Buying Climate-Change Deniers

We built this!
The recent revelation that Wei-Hock Soon, one of the top “respectable” climate change deniers out there, gets most of his funding from the coal and oil industry has led Congressional Democrats to attempt to Follow The Money in the climate denial business. Well! Charles and David Koch will have you climate busybodies know that it is none of your damn business how they spend their money, which is a form of speech, and you should be ashamed of yourselves for even asking. Read more on Koch Brothers: Sorry, 1st Amendment Won’t Let Us Divulge How We’re Buying Climate-Change Deniers…
  fiddling while miami drowns

Florida Sees, Hears, And Speaks No Climate Change. Also: Sinks Into The Sea

Oh HAI impending doom.
Perhaps you’ve heard that, thanks to [redacted] and its associated rising sea levels, Miami is very soon likely going to underwater. Tampa, too. And you would think that, were you the governor of the state that includes those two rather large cities, you might want to do something about it, or at least have your scientists talk about doing something about it. Read more on Florida Sees, Hears, And Speaks No Climate Change. Also: Sinks Into The Sea…
  Science Is Hard So Don't Believe It

Scientists Directly Observe Greenhouse Effect, Like That Proves Anything

Atmospheric Emitted Radiance Interferometer near Barrow, Alaska. Note that there's still snow. SO FAKE.
In some pretty cool science that won’t change the mind of a single climate denier, climate scientists have observed carbon dioxide trapping heat in the atmosphere, which you’d think would be enormously important evidence that would put an end to the “debate” over global warming. We’re going to have to call Salon’s headline about the news just a tad optimistic, though: “Scientists stick it to climate deniers: Study provides direct evidence that human activity is causing global warming.” Read more on Scientists Directly Observe Greenhouse Effect, Like That Proves Anything…
  Case settled then

Sen. Inhofe: If Global Warming Is Real, Where Did I Get This Snowball?

He's got your 'global warming' right here!
Oklahoma Republican Sen. James (“Jim” to his friends, “Dickface” to most of America) Inhofe knows global warming is a hoax, as he has proven repeatedly, why won’t you dumb people listen to him instead of all those “scientists” who say otherwise? (No, not the scientists paid by the oil and gas industry to deny climate change is real; the other 99 percent of scientists who say yes it is TOO real.) Read more on Sen. Inhofe: If Global Warming Is Real, Where Did I Get This Snowball?…