Tag Archives: global warming

  Actually Most Mad Scientists Are Just Engineers

Hillary Clinton Whips Out Her Big Science Brain To Make Republicans Jealous

Science: It's hard.
Here’s Hillary Clinton’s new campaign ad, a pleasant if not incredibly edgy Old-Horror-Movie smack at all the Republicans who are simultaneously not scientists but 103 percent sure there’s no such thing as Global Warming. Wisely, the gothic horror subtitles are kept to a minimum, giving the not-scientists plenty of time to say dumb things so we can yell at the screen, “No, you’re wrong! That’s not right at all! You are a stupid, stupid person to think that!” And it closes with a web address for Clinton’s email sign-up page, although it takes a couple more clicks to actually reach her detailed policy goals on renewable energy. She takes the radical position that climate change is real, when any fool knows she should be telling women to get married and have babies for a better America. Read more on Hillary Clinton Whips Out Her Big Science Brain To Make Republicans Jealous…
  Get Your Nerd On

John Lewis Is A Comics Superhero, Prepare For Ludicrous Speed, And Earth 2.0: Your Saturday Nerd-Out

He went for period accuracy where possible, but left out the tear gas and clubs
Happy Saturday, and welcome to your moment of Nerding: Just a few stories that we thought were pretty cool because they appeal to the geek in us. Real Life Superhero Cosplays As Himself For starters, how about congressman John Lewis of Georgia, attending his second Comic-Con last Saturday and getting into the whole cosplay scene, dressing as a character from March: Book 2, the comics memoir that he co-wrote with former campaign aide Andrew Aydin, with art by Nate Powell. To be specific, Lewis decided to dress up as the “John Lewis in 1965″ character from the book. The Washington Post had a lovely story this week about how it all happened: Read more on John Lewis Is A Comics Superhero, Prepare For Ludicrous Speed, And Earth 2.0: Your Saturday Nerd-Out…
  No Extra Credit For Acknowledging Reality

Lindsey Graham Isn’t A Scientist, But He Thinks Scientists Know Stuff. He’s Doomed.

Yes it's a pony. But it could have been a pic of Lindsey Graham. Count your blessings.
Loath though we are to ever say anything especially nice about Lindsey Graham, given his penchant for wanting to send Americans to bomb as many distant lands as possible, we have to give him an “attaboy” on his remarkably sane remarks about climate change on that Seth Meyers TV show t’other night. Read more on Lindsey Graham Isn’t A Scientist, But He Thinks Scientists Know Stuff. He’s Doomed….
  What's All This About NASA And Some Puto?

Ted Cruz Super Excited By NASA Pluto Flyby, Still Wants To Murder NASA

He's the Urban Spaceman, baby, here comes the twist: He hates scie-en-tists!
Hey, how about that exciting NASA flyby of Pluto? The incredibly cool New Horizons spacecraft passed within about 7,800 miles of the dwarf planet, and got the most detailed photographs of its surface ever. And Sen. Ted Cruz, who fancies himself a huge fan of the Final Frontier, was pretty jazzed about it too, telling Politico, “This is a historic milestone in space exploration,” and informing the National Journal that this was an example of “NASA doing what it does best, pushing the boundaries of our imagination by traveling to the unknown.” Because, as we’ve noted before, what Ted Cruz thinks NASA needs to be doing is concentrating on stuff that is far away from Earth — the real space science, not all the stupid wasteful research that NASA has been doing on our own planet, which isn’t in space at all, and also isn’t even good science, as Ted Cruz understands science. Which is badly. Read more on Ted Cruz Super Excited By NASA Pluto Flyby, Still Wants To Murder NASA…
  Fire Island Causes Global Warming

Rick Santorum: Know What Really Makes Sea Levels Rise? Gay Marriage.

Also, we should slash NASA's budget and give it to sidewalk anti-abortion counselors
Pathetic self-parody Rick Santorum took to The Fox and The Friends Sunday to explain how to fix the Supreme Court, after it broke America last week, and make America all better again, and the way to do that is for presidents to stop wasting time talking about fake stuff like “Global Warming” and to instead save the American family from turning all gay. Read more on Rick Santorum: Know What Really Makes Sea Levels Rise? Gay Marriage….
  Stay Cool Boy

Saving Planet Would Save Lots Of Money Too, Go Figure!

Yeah, but that's just, like, your opinion, man
Looks like the socialist science fiends at Global Warming Hoax Headquarters have decided to fight dirty: Now they’re saying that preventing catastrophic climate change would actually cost a lot less money than just letting things go all to hell. That’s pretty underhanded, using science facts to appeal to people’s self-interest! A new EPA report, Climate Change in the United States: Benefits of Global Action, projects how the USA would benefit from international action to limit global temperature increases to 2 degrees Celsius above pre-industrial levels, versus the costs of allowing temperature increases to continue at current rates. It’s pretty impressive, until you remind yourself that scientists paid by the oil industry reassure us global warming is all just a myth. Read more on Saving Planet Would Save Lots Of Money Too, Go Figure!…
  Whoopee We're All Gonna Die

Life On Earth Doomed, Everybody Panic. Or Go Shopping, Whatever

We won't even have to bother with nukes!
Excuse me, don’t want to alarm anyone, but it’s looking like we’re further along the road to the end of the current era of life on Earth than we thought. We’re not just talking about humanity dying off in a few hundred years; we’re talking Sixth Major Extinction stuff. Don’t worry, your stock portfolio will be fine. Just don’t invest in any thousand-year bonds, because a new study published in Science Advances, indicates that, “using extremely conservative assumptions,” extinctions of vertebrate species — that’s everything with a spine, from tree frogs to blue whales — are dying off at increasing rates. Biggest mass die-off of species since the dinosaurs. Life on the planet will undoubtedly continue, but we big clumsy mammals are probably goners: Read more on Life On Earth Doomed, Everybody Panic. Or Go Shopping, Whatever…
  Are Side Bets Allowed?

Science Nerds To Climate Deniers: Wanna Bet ‘Climate Change’ Isn’t Real? For Real, Wanna Bet?

And Hitler believed in germs!
We’re pretty sure this counts as Nice Time, or something close to it: The Committee for Skeptical Inquiry (CSI), the pro-science group that challenges pseudoscience and paranormal claims, has challenged the climate-change deniers at the Heartland Institute, which loves telling the world that climate change is all just a big hoax and that there’s been no global warming since 1998, to put up or shut up. The terms of the challenge are pretty simple. If the Heartland Institute is so certain that there’s no global warming, then surely it would be willing to stake $25,000 on an easily provable question: Read more on Science Nerds To Climate Deniers: Wanna Bet ‘Climate Change’ Isn’t Real? For Real, Wanna Bet?…
  This won't work unless it does then HURRAY!

Weather Channel Has Evil Scheme To Trick Old Wingnuts Into Believing Climate Change Is Real

Whatever, he should just move to Hawaii
If you are an 86-year-old wingnut, next time you switch back to the Weather Channel from “Wheel Of Fortune,” you might be in for a surprise. There might be a terrible and bad Smartie Pants person talking at you about how “climate change is real” and “no seriously, it is real, you moron.” Even worse, it might be a Republican. Why is the Weather Channel doing tyranny and betrayal to you, when you’re just trying to find out the current forecast for as many cities as you possibly can before you fall asleep in your chair? Read more on Weather Channel Has Evil Scheme To Trick Old Wingnuts Into Believing Climate Change Is Real…
  Do You Want to Build A Snow Job?

Sen. Jim Inhofe Tells Pope To Leave Climate Change To Scientists At Big Oil

Using this picture because NEVER FORGET LOL
Sometimes Yr Wonkette thinks it might be “fun” to actually be located in Our Nation’s Capital, rather than in the wilds of Boise, Idaho, if only because it would then be possible to attend fun events like the Heartland Institute’s “climate conference” being held this week in DC, where Sen. James “If Global Warming Is Real Why Is There Snow?” Inhofe told Pope Francis to keep his mind on poping and to leave climate science to idiots on the payroll of Big Oil. Read more on Sen. Jim Inhofe Tells Pope To Leave Climate Change To Scientists At Big Oil…
  Waiting For The Sky's Water To Break

California Lady Lawmaker Knows What Causes Droughts, And It Is Abortion

This 'sand'? It's all POWDERED FETUSES!
Though they may never accept evolution, let it never be said that rightwingers never let their thinking on critical issues evolve. Take, for instance (please!) California Assemblywoman Shannon Grove, who used to believe California’s drought was caused by environmentalists giving all the state’s water to fish, but who now has come up with a far more plausible explanation for why it hasn’t rained: God is angry with California because of legal abortion. How she knows that it’s abortion and not The Gays we don’t know, but she’s got her ways of knowing things. Read more on California Lady Lawmaker Knows What Causes Droughts, And It Is Abortion…
  Long Hot Bummer

Superhero Barack Obama Spending Summer Vacation Saving The World

As Neil deGrasse Tyson said, maybe if we could see CO2, we'd be doing something about it
Some kids have a reading list or a paper route or maybe an aggressive agenda of sleeping late and playing Assassin’s Creed Black Flag all freaking day, but Barack Obama’s summer project is just plain old saving the world. The Wall Street Journal, which still does actual reporting now and then, reports that Obama plans to devote a lot of energy this summer to “an ambitious climate agenda that the president sees as key to his legacy.” Read more on Superhero Barack Obama Spending Summer Vacation Saving The World…
  Dirty Mortar Frackers

Good News! EPA Says Drinking Water Mostly Free Of Dirty Fracking Sludge

New Combustible Water: It's Antibacterial!
This story sponsored by a grant from the Patty Dumpling Fund for coverage of oil spills, fracking, and eew don’t drink that fracking fluid you don’t know what’s in it! Terrific news, corporate America! As the Wall Street Journal giddily announces, a new draft EPA study finds that hydraulic fracturing has had no “widespread, systemic impact on drinking water.” Time to drill, baby drill! Except that the actual report is a lot more cautious and sciencey than that, noting that while the agency’s review of scientific literature does find that there’s no widespread contamination of drinking water, there are indeed instances where drinking water has been contaminated, although the “number of identified cases … was small compared to the number of hydraulically fractured wells.” The study, like any good science paper, also identified several potential problems with its own methods that suggest caution before we all announce, “Whoopee, even the EPA says fracking’s harmless!” — a phrase you should expect to hear on Fox News and in internet comments from now until forever. Read more on Good News! EPA Says Drinking Water Mostly Free Of Dirty Fracking Sludge…
  Perry/God 2016!

Glenn Beck Says Texas Flooded Because Rick Perry Is Just Too Darned Good At Prayin’

For a limited time only, we’re going to agree with Glenn Beck, on a thing, and yes, we promise to never do it again. See, during a recent episode of the “show” he “broadcasts” on the interweb, from some basement somewhere, Beck and his buddies — whom we assume he met at broken-brain rehab — said it’s indicted former Gov. Rick Perry’s fault that Texas is all covered up with water, and more than two dozen people have died, with several more still missing. And you know what? We’re OK with blaming all that death and destruction on Rick Perry, because fuck that guy right in his yee haw.   Read more on Glenn Beck Says Texas Flooded Because Rick Perry Is Just Too Darned Good At Prayin’…
  Don't Know Much About A Science Book

Rick Santorum Such A Idiot He Can’t Even Deny Science Good

Can't go wrong with the classics
Poor ol’ Rick Santorum is already having a hard time keeping up with the Conservaherd in the Great 2016 Republican Coronation Scramble. Just look at his lame, thoroughly derivative attempt to ignore climate science during a Thursday event in Des Moines, Iowa: Read more on Rick Santorum Such A Idiot He Can’t Even Deny Science Good…
  Too Hot For Trenchcoats

CIA Drops Climate Research Program Because Polar Bears Make Lousy Spies

Guys, if we can get this black igloo open we'll eat like KINGS!
Polar bears check out the USS Honolulu near the North Pole In what may be yet another victory for the Republican War on Science, the CIA is shutting down a climate research project that shared classified data with scientists with the goal of studying links between climate change and national security. The move came shortly after President Obama devoted his commencement address at the U.S. Coast Guard Academy to arguing that climate change presents serious threats to U.S. security, what with population shifts, coastal flooding, disruptions to agriculture, and the like. You know, a lot of arrogant stuff about science having effects in the real world. Read more on CIA Drops Climate Research Program Because Polar Bears Make Lousy Spies…