Wonkette

A Condoleezza road show is so much fun! Our Condi bounced from Egypt to Ramallah to Tel Aviv to Brussels, enjoying several perfect photo-ops along the way. The only problem was that outside the photo-ops, it was one of the most incriminating Condiweeks EVER, brimming with embarrassments, snubs, that Gaza Strip thing, and OMG, Glenn Kessler! So mean! Let’s all pile on with Glenn after the jump!

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Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! Last week was all about Condi’s big Carnival o’ Peace™ in Annapolis. Yes! That was only a few days ago! Not much happened, but that didn’t stop people from writing about it. Plus: more excerpts from Elizabeth Bumiller’s Condiography which is maybe going to be serialized in Maureen Dowd’s column. And, finally, it was Mean Caricature Week! After the jump, we’ll relive the Condiweek that was.

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Anthony Lewis reviewed Glenn Kessler’s Condiography The Confidante in yesterday’s New York Times Sunday Book Review, and, you know, blah, blah, blah. Whatever. It all just seems like an excuse to publish the accompanying illustration, an absolutely fab drawing of Condoleezza Rice by the excitingly-named Noma Bar. If you’re reluctant to click the link, see a full-sized screenshot of the illustration and learn more about the artist after the jump…

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What has Condoleezza Rice accomplished in the past week? The answer is always the same: nothing! What has she been doing, where has she been going? Well, that’s a more complicated question. Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! Last week was a holiday, so there wasn’t a lot of hot Condi action, so let’s take a look at her legacy, OK? Skeptics may wish to point out Dr. Ferragamo’s many failures, but there’s one area in which our beloved heroine has absolutely triumphed: Condoleezza Rice has perfected the MAPO, the matching armchairs photo-op. Join me for an in-depth look at this impressive diplomatic capability after the jump!

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What has Condoleezza Rice accomplished in the past week? The answer is always the same: nothing! What has she been doing, where has she been going? Well, that’s a more complicated question. Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! This past week? OMG, it was mostly all about writing about Condi! We’re talking people running into each other at cocktail parties and going, all, “OMG, you’re writing a book about Condi? Me too! Have you seen my latest newspaper article about her? It’s so much better than Glenn Kessler’s.” Soon there will be enough words written about Condoleezza Rice to build her a stairway to the moon! Which would be a good idea right around now! MORE »

The hard copy of today’s Washington Post contains this photograph and caption:

The road trip by Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and Foreign Secretary Jack Straw has personified the “special relationship” of the United States and Britain.

Ah, the power of scare quotes! It’s amazing what such innocuous-looking punctuation marks can do.

In the online version, the Posties have toned down the caption innuendo. But the article, by Glenn Kessler, is still full of disturbingly suggestive references:

A sly smile began to form on Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice’s face as British Foreign Secretary Jack Straw explained Monday why they had the authority to put pressure on Iraqi politicians to form a government. The massive investment of money and manpower by the United States and Britain, he said, gave them “a right to say, ‘We’ve got to be able to deal with Mr. A, Mr. B or Mr. C. We can’t deal with Mr. Nobody.’ “

Rice broke in, “Jack, I’m sure we’d be all right with Miss A or Miss B or Miss C, too, right?” As reporters burst out laughing, Straw put a hand against his face and recovered, “Yeah, we would. . . . “

Flirtatious banter between foreign ministers? Clearly we have a romantic comedy on our hands. We nominate Halle Berry and Hugh Grant for the leads.

Additional excerpts and commentary appear after the jump.

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In our latest guessing game, we asked for your input concerning which unidentified officials were referred to in Glenn Kessler’s interesting article about recent “chafing” at the State Department. MORE »

Yesterday we solicited your guesses as to which unidentified officials were mentioned by Glenn Kesler in his recent Kremlinology of the State Department (from this article in the Washington Post). MORE »

For today’s episode, check out Glenn Kessler’s article in today’s Washington Post, a gossip-ridden discussion of some recent reshuffling at the State Department. Kessler writes: MORE »