ALL OF THIS IS FACTUAL TRUTH: “So thank fucking christ that the Commander in Chief is no longer subjecting the nation to death porn. No, this year it’s limited to a nutty little cult leader on basic cable who is encouraging his radicalized band of fanatical followers to invade the cities where the tragedy actually happened in order to shock the populace back into fear. Glenn Beck is an actual terrorist, and the people attending his rally in DC tomorrow are al-Qaeda in America.” [Alex Pareene]

Okay, there goes the morning productivity! There’s a new SAVE GLENN BECK petition with, apparently, the same 2,200 Fox News viewers who figured out how to post something from the ‘puter. Go spread the true message of Democracy/Horror, and laugh at the (currently) visible signatures/messages, until this one gets eated, too. [New dumb Glenn Beck poll]

Suddenly in America it is *illegal* to offer words of support for popular American television hosts such as Glenn Beck. This is not your grandfather’s American Internet anymore, people. (Anyway, time to stop signing it!) [Support Glenn Beck and His Values and Principles]

Fat racist queer-sandwich Glenn Beck is losing all of the sponsors for his Fox television show, “The Fat Racist Queer-Sandwich Hour With Glenn Beck.” Will you stand for this? Who is going to provide the intellectual counterpoint to Obama, if his carcinogenic show about nothing, that no one actually watches, disappears? Sign this petition to “Support Glenn Beck and His Values and Principles.” It’s on the Internet as we speak! UPDATE: War over, we win, stop signing. MORE »

Vile behavior is usually rewarded by Idiot America (see “Michael Vick”), but there is finally some sort of financial penalty for being a repulsive screaming nutbag racist bag of clown shit on a national cable-news station owned by one of the world’s biggest media companies: advertisers flee! MORE »

• Were you at Netroots Nation? Your Wonkette was not invited. But Matt Yglesias was, and he spoke on every panel covering every imaginable topic: Afghanistan, climate change, tax policy, amateur dentistry, LOLcats — everything. [Matt Yglesias]
• “First Obama’s brownshirts came for the old people, but I was not an old person, so I said nothing. Then they came for Glenn Beck, but I was not Glenn Beck, so I did nothing. Then when they came for me, there was no one left to stand up for me.” [RedState]
• There’s an old saying, on Wikiquotes, that “nothing is certain in life except death, taxes, and Matt Taibbi’s weekly anal probing of Goldman Sachs” (Mark Twain). Well guess what? [Matt Taibbi]
• Barack Obama is going fishing, for cigarettes, in Montana. What will this slimeball do to Trig Palin next? [NYT/The Caucus]

We must’ve forgotten to Netflix our most favorite radio program, the Glenn Beck GoodTime Hour on Fox News, because somehow we missed when the baby-headed dildo-nut just went bonkers, and then 1,000 people sent this news to your Wonkette. WE WILL NOT STAND FOR WINGNUT AM-RADIO CLOWNS BEHAVING IN A CRAZY FASHION. Here is the video from Media Matters. [Jason Linkins]

Well, this is sort of what we all imagined, in our darkest & drunkest moments. Here’s a Fox News show featuring a weird jabbering middle-aged baby with hair plugs on the left side of the screen and some guy who claims to be a Bush Administration-era anti-Bin Laden agent on the right, and, well, they both share a certain dream for America, which involves the nation being horribly attacked by Osama bin Laden’s secret arsenal of nuclear weapons, from Mexico. THAT WILL LEARN US, RIGHT? MORE »

If you want to weather the recession in style, there’s no better bet than serving our nation’s ever-diminishing population of wingnuts. As more Americans climb aboard B-Rock NObama’s Socialism ‘n’ Poetry Jams Express, frustrated conservatives have flocked to a few of the nation’s last reputable wingnut media outlets for soothing words about how right they still are about everything even if “the news” says they’re wrong. MORE »

If getting double-teamed by James Carville and Paul Begala is not your “cup of tea bags,” then head on over to the eBay and have your credit card ready! Glenn Beck, dough-head wingnut star of Fox TeeVee’s Goin’ Nuts Again with Glenn Beck, is selling his puffy body and all its orifices, on eBay! For one glorious day, you can do whatever you want to Glenn Beck! We bet it’s for some weird cause like preventing gay marriage. You don’t have to marry him, jeez! Just do whatever you like. Put him on a dog leash, cum in his ears, re-enact that Two Girls, One Cup youtube, whatever. It’s your day. It’s your Glenn Beck. (Probably not legal to kill him, although who knows what the laws are in New York City, the way they are waging a campaign of brutality against Rush Limbaugh and all that.) [Teablogging.net/eBay]

LIKE TEABAGGING A BEANIE BABY: “About these Obama Haters. They are apparently led by the CNN star Glenn Beck. I have not heard of him, but my tastes run more toward the BBC. His gimmick, they say, is to imitate the character from the classic 1970s comedy Network. If so, good for him and kudos on his success. But does he base his shtick on unsavory recollections of our shameful national past?” [AOL Political Machine]