glenn beck
For His Next Trick, Glenn Beck Will Pull Mapplethorpe’s Bullwhip Out Of His Butt
Back in 1987, before many of you young Wonkettarians were born (but not yr Wonkette, because we are ageless, like the sea) there was a kerfluffle over the National Endowment for the Arts and how it funded things that gave Lynne Cheney and some other old-school wingnuts a sad. Your grandpa was probably most upset [...]
‘The Blaze’ Writer, Headline Writer At Odds Over Thrill Quotient Of Possible Portman Pick
We feel fairly sure how whoever writes the headlines over at Glenn Beck’s The Blaze feels about a possible Rob Portman veep nod, what with their terrible intimation that nobody even knows who Rob Portman is. But how does the article about Rob Portman admitting he’s being vetted by the Romney camp frame the news? [...]
Here Is Glenn Beck’s Very Unique 2012 Electoral Map
Well, over on whatever website or smelly airwave Glenn Beck currently resides, Beck and his friends/unpaid interns have decided to make some predictions about the 2012 presidential election upon which the fate of the universe rides. Here is Glenn’s measured and educated guess! Wow, good.
Fox Boss’s Gotcha Too ‘Ugly’ Even For Bill O’Reilly
Fox News head and living Cthulu Roger Ailes forwarded to all his underlings some crazy chain emails from the Fox Research department saying George Soros, as a 14-year-old Jew who had been hidden by a Christian family but did not have the grace to stay in the attic, was a total Nazi collaborator who ate [...]
‘One Million Moms,’ Fresh Off Victory Over Ellen Degeneres, Has New Lesbos In Sights
Two chicks are totally macking hard in Urban Outfitters’ new catalog, and the funtime gals over at “One Million Moms” are having a total ladyboner! You may remember One Million Moms for their yeoman’s service in getting laughed at by Ellen Degeneres for all the world to see, but they are not just taking their [...]
Former Television Personality Glenn Beck Cuts Last Ties With Sanity, Now Making Believe He Is President
Has former television personality Glenn Beck finally suffered a psychotic break? PROBABLY! He has now built a replica of the Oval Office and will be giving “addresses” from it every week because that is not at all a lunatic thing to do. You guys, we are so excited! What will be the first of Beck’s [...]
Santorum: Colleges Are ‘Indoctrination Mills’ That Evilly Enlighten The Young
Santorum continued his Knowledge Is Evil Tour this week with a visit to husband Glenn Beck’s radio program, where he went the farthest he’s gone yet — no guarantees that by summer’s end he won’t be recommending locking children in a dungeon with a Bible, some water and breadsticks i.e. the body of Christ for [...]
Mormon Glenn Beck Converts America to Catholicism Because…Freedom
Baked potato-wielding beacon of strength and apparent modern-day Sisyphus Glenn Beck has gone symbolically Catholic, despite being a Mormon, in order to stand with freedom-loving Catholics over the contraception mandate that Obama is trying to affix to the health plans of companies affiliated with the Catholic Church. Amusingly, it looks like a great number of [...]
Wall Street Journal Caught Padding European Circulation By Nearly Half
Shrunken cliche Rupert Murdoch’s empire of shit continues to stink, with his “rogue corporation” caught in yet another amoral activity — this time, managers of his Wall Street Journal have been caught inflating the paper’s European circulation by 41%. So the big corporations paying top dollar to reach the coveted 1% who supposedly read the [...]
Actual Palin/Beck Reign of Terror To Kick Off With Night of Family Fun
Good thing you did not waste your pathetic paycheck on those Donny and Marie tickets, because America’s other tragic duo is heading to good ol’ St. Louis this October, to sing some songs about Freedom! “Defending the Republic” promises fun for the whole family, and will feature lessons, comedy, and Sarah Palin scratching her fingernails [...]
Glenn Beck Figures Out Norway Shooter Is a Secret Liberal Terrorist
Slobbery sob queen Glenn Beck (and a frightening amount of other right-wingers) agreed with Norwegian mass murderer Anders Breivik that multiculturalism and Muslims are ruining civilization. Beck also believes that because Breivik is a terrorist, he must therefore be a secret liberal. “He is doing the work of a madman. He is doing the work [...]
Florida Tea Party Adopts Grievance Against Endangered Manatees
Along with the Fed, health care reform, taxes, the TSA, Mexicans and secular governance, everyone can now add ”harmless, adorable manatees” to the list of things Tea Party Patriots would like to kill. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service proposed new rules to restrict motorized boating in a popular Florida wildlife refuge, because the boats [...]
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