Tag Archives: glenn beck

  Won’t someone please think of the white people?

Daily Caller: Never Forget That Black Lady Who Used To Be Blackness Czar Racisted A White General, With Racism

The REAL racists, obviously
Hot on the heels of the Helter-Skelter-provoking interview with Barack and Michelle Obummer in People magazine, in which they had the uppityness to claim that maybe being black maybe isn’t always a sunshine-and-daisies walk in the park in U.S. America, the always-sincere-and-genuine “journalists” at the Daily Caller have once again raised the tenor of the national conversation on race, by making it all about white people. Read more on Daily Caller: Never Forget That Black Lady Who Used To Be Blackness Czar Racisted A White General, With Racism…
  get well soon crazy man

Glenn Beck’s Brain Is Broken. No, For Reals This Time

Poor guy
Glenn Beck took to the airwaves on Blaze TV Monday night for a dramatic revelation, and it sure was a doozy. Beck, who has not infrequently mentioned mysterious health issues over the years, revealed that he has been suffering from all manner of neurological illnesses. Read more on Glenn Beck’s Brain Is Broken. No, For Reals This Time…
  unpossible!

Liberal Lawmaker Owns A Gun AND Favors Gun Control. Impossible!

Do not takesess our precious.
Big scoopy scoop over at The Blaze, Glenn Beck’s online home for his continuing total emotional and mental breakdown now cruising through its – let’s see, how old is Glenn Beck? – its 50th year. Seems Missouri state Sen. Jamilah Nasheed got herself arrested during a protest outside the Ferguson Police Department, because people just can’t let go of this Michael Brown shooting thing already, jeez. When the cops searched Nasheed, they found she was carrying a loaded 9mm pistol and extra ammo. Read more on Liberal Lawmaker Owns A Gun AND Favors Gun Control. Impossible!…
  His Transformation Into Lonesome Rhodes Is Nearly Complete

Glenn Beck Will Save World From Ebola With Song Reminding You Not To Lick Up Vomit

Who sent this? We lost your name! Let us credit/blame you!
Glenn Beck has the solution to the Ebola panic: Make fun of stupid Africans who don’t have the sense not to play around with infected bodily fluids! Which is why he made him a song about it, complete with music video: Read more on Glenn Beck Will Save World From Ebola With Song Reminding You Not To Lick Up Vomit…
  Whine and Jesus Party

It’s A Good Friday For Values Voters To Feel Persecuted Again

nice ride
Outside the Values Voter Summit 2014/Photo by Beth Ethier It’s time for all the wingnuttiest Christianist wingnuts who will never be president to gather once again in D.C. to Biblesplain how President Obama is THE WORST, liberals have killed Jesus (again!), and it’s hard out there in these American United States of Real America for an outraged white dude. Read more on It’s A Good Friday For Values Voters To Feel Persecuted Again…
  Here have some news n stuff

Ladies Flying Planes And Other Tales Of Terror

The Wonkette Overnight Desk has been hard at work aggregating content for your pleasure.
Yesterday on Fox’s The Five, Kimberly Guilfoyle gave a shout-out to Major Mariam Al Mansouri, the first female fighter pilot in the United Arab Emirates. Mansouri led her country’s contingent of military pilots that participated in bombing ISIS in Syria earlier this week. Yr Wonkette is not going to cheer on anyone for dropping yet more bombs on more brown people, even if they are fanatical nutbars. Still, we suppose in the context of Middle Eastern countries, where women are sometimes not allowed to so much as drive or even leave the house unless accompanied by a male, this represents a twisted step in the direction of equality. So sure, Kimberly Guilfoyle, go ahead and girl-power away, and let’s hope that none of your troglodytic male co-hosts step on the moment by saying something sexist. Read more on Ladies Flying Planes And Other Tales Of Terror…
  false equivalencies r us

Ralph Reed: Why Won’t Obama Stop Murdering The Christians?

You really have to hand it to Ralph Reed. The man has got some staying power. For like 1,000 years now, he has been the most reliably self-righteous Christian concern troll ever. For wherever two or three are gathered in Jesus’s name, there will be Ralph Reed whinging about how he and his ilk are the most persecuted people to ever walk God’s green earth. Read more on Ralph Reed: Why Won’t Obama Stop Murdering The Christians?…
  Dances With Wingnuts

Hey Native Americans, Let Ted Nugent Tell You How To Be Native American Like Him

looks like a tribute to the historic Native American tradition of blowing up breast cancer with grenades
Hey, Dances With Nuge, what is up? Oh, you are more Indian than all the Indians who have canceled your concerts at their awesome casinos, and you would like to tell Glenn Beck about it, and Glenn Beck is the sane one in this exchange? Sounds fun, let’s roll tape! Read more on Hey Native Americans, Let Ted Nugent Tell You How To Be Native American Like Him…
  rock me like a hurricane

Republicans So Anguished About Border Children, They Will Not Stop Until They Do Nothing About It

Have you heard there is a Katrina at the border, and that Katrina is a hurricane of little brown children, mostly unaccompanied by any adults, who have traveled thousands of miles to escape the violence in their Central American homes? Some people have been kind of spitty about it, with the screaming at the buses full of brown babies, phlegm flying. Other people, meanwhile, have taken a more tempered approach, perhaps realizing that screaming at babies like a crack mom is not a Good Electoral Look. Those more temperate folks have emphasized that we have a humanitarian crisis at our border, and that is true! Luckily, they will not rest until they keep one “President” Barack Obama from doing anything about it. Read more on Republicans So Anguished About Border Children, They Will Not Stop Until They Do Nothing About It…
  gun fun with glenn

Totally Rational Behavior: Glenn Beck Shoots Things So He Feels Better About Chris McDaniel’s Loss

We knew there would be some maximum sadmad from the super-right about Chris McDaniel’s loss in the Mississippi Senate primary to Thad Cochran on Tuesday, a loss only made possible by meddling black people, and we really should have held a contest to see who would be the derpiest. Haha of course we didn’t need to do that because it is Glenn Beck today, Glenn Beck tomorrow, Glenn Beck forever. Read more on Totally Rational Behavior: Glenn Beck Shoots Things So He Feels Better About Chris McDaniel’s Loss…
  take the money and run

Glenn Beck Discovers Nefarious Government Plot To Return Unclaimed Property To Rightful Owners

It’s a day ending in -y, so you better bet Glenn Beck is out there whipping people into a frenzy over completely made-up shit. Seriously, what is it like to be that paranoid all the time? It must be weird to live with the constant certainty that every mundane occurrence is actually the government generally or Barack Obama personally coming for you and your stuff. Today’s scaremongering came with this SHOCKING HEADLINE: “This happened: Government confiscates money from a member of Glenn’s staff.” Yes, that totally makes it sound as if rando dude that works with Glenn Beck, Joe Kerry, had some jackbooted thugs come take his money away so they could give it right to Sasha and Malia, but you don’t need us to tell you that’s some straight up nonsense. Read more on Glenn Beck Discovers Nefarious Government Plot To Return Unclaimed Property To Rightful Owners…
  we suffer for his art

Glenn Beck’s Cool New Artsy Friend ‘Sabo’ Can Say The N-Word Any Time He Wants

Remember a few months ago when Andrew Breitbart’s website for angry neckbeards launched Breitbart California? And they kicked off the launch with some cool edgy posters of Nancy Pelosi’s face on Miley Cyrus’s body? And then there were the Abortion Barbie Wendy Davis posters, which totally made us want an Abortion Barbie? The artistic genius behind those posters is a perpetual darling of the right, an anonymous street artist named Sabo, a dude who is basically a dime-store Banksy, if Bansky was a super racist homophobe. Glenn Beck had this toolshed on his pretend internet teevee show on Monday, mainly so that Beck and Sabo could sit around, chill, kick it, and ask the hard questions, like “why can’t we just say n*gger all the time like we want to?” Deep, man, deep. Read more on Glenn Beck’s Cool New Artsy Friend ‘Sabo’ Can Say The N-Word Any Time He Wants…
  'box of dildos' would be a great band name

Here’s Your Video With Glenn Beck Going On And On About Dildos

So here’s two minutes of Glenn Beck talking about the terrible horrible no good very bad thing that happened at a high school in Bellingham, Washington, Glenn’s home town. Basically, a teacher let her drama club students plan their own end-of-year awards ceremony. And high school students being high school students — actually, worse: high school drama club members being high school drama club members, it got raunchy. Rude jokes, rude awards, and casual awfulness. You know. High school stuff. Except that the teacher, Teri Grimes, “a veteran of three decades who is slated to retire after this year,” apparently didn’t step in and censor the kids’ presentation, because she Just Hates America. And also, maybe after nearly thirty years, she thought there was some merit in letting kids design and run their own awards show. Like they do in Communist Roosha. Read more on Here’s Your Video With Glenn Beck Going On And On About Dildos…
  becki-becki-becki-stan-stan

Glenn Beck Doubles Down On Rape Sketch, Because He Is A Terrible Monster In A Human Skin Suit

Hey there, Glenn Beck! Thanks for being a regular feature on Wonkette this week, you beady-eyed cocksucker. You’ve really brought the crazy and the stupid and the crazy-stupid these last few days, for which we commend you. Your latest, this terrible sketch in which one of your minions mocked studies that indicate a widespread sexual assault problem against women on our nation’s college campuses, was already such a masterpiece, there was really no need for you to double down on it. But that’s what’s so great about you, Glenn. You are a dandelion seed on the wind, carried hither and yon, heedless of where you are at any given moment or where you may be going. Read more on Glenn Beck Doubles Down On Rape Sketch, Because He Is A Terrible Monster In A Human Skin Suit…