glenn beck

Man, we love Exene Cervenka and X from way back. Like WAY back to “Johnny Hit And Run Paulene” back, so we are deeply sad and weirded out by the fact that Exene seems to have gone full-on conspiracy theorist on us when we weren’t looking. Say it ain’t so! Here’s a confusing and be-saddening […]

While the rest of the world wails and rends garments over Joe Scarborough’s announcement that he will not grace us with his presence in the clusterfuck that is sure to be the 2016 presidential campaign, your Wonkette is hard at work bringing you the more important story of our day, which is that OBAMA DID […]

Liberal lovegod Ronan Farrow and weird political freakshow Glenn Beck don’t agree on much of anything, but here’s a Kumbayah, We Are The World moment for you: both say bullying a 9-year-old boy who likes My Little Pony is bad, and if boys want to like a cartoon “for girls,” that’s actually just fine, thanks. […]

DOUBLE INDUMBNITY  9:36 am February 6, 2014

Glenn Beck, Private Dick

by Doktor Zoom

Idiot Savant Auteur de Merde Glenn Beck presents this short Noir masterpiece about a guy named Lucky, a legless (or one-legged, because why would you check your script for consistency?) prostitute named Charlie, and a slick grifter named Sam, who’s pushing a crazy unworkable scheme called “MyRA.” In typical Beck Drama Theater of the Airhead […]

Glenn Beck, what is up with you? You pass into seeming irrelevance, and then alla sudden, you are getting an amazeballs amount of attention. Within a few hours of our story yesterday about how you felt kinda-sorta sorry that you divided America with all your divisiveness, we also learned that you said that Bill Nye […]

Remember when semi-professional terrible person Glenn Beck had a real job on Fox News, before Fox decided he was too crazy even for Fox? (Yeah, we know, we still can’t quite believe that either. We didn’t know that bar even existed.) Glenn Beck packed up his chalkboard and stormed off to the far corners of […]

Yesterday scabrous poop demon Glenn Beck took a break from cruising the streets of Philadelphia asking women to jerk him off with Swiss cheese to attack the greatest threat to freedom and our American way of life since the Hessians occupied Trenton: film critics. Or rather one film critic, Amy Nicholson of the LA Weekly. Nicholson had […]

Here’s a new squirmish in the Culture Wars: A businessman in Virginia has dropped his sponsorship of a pro golfer because he’s not all that crazy about the golfer’s political and religious views. The business guy, Brian McMahon, had been sponsoring golfer Jeff Cochran for almost a year to promote McMahon’s Nebraska Golf Card (NGC) […]

Today is the 50th anniversary of the day some acting-alone asshole, or maybe a bunch of assholes at the CIA or the FBI or the mob or the men’s-room attendant at the White House went and shot up that nice handsome president and ruined a perfectly good pink dress. You know all that, of course, […]

America, are you ready to be amazed and astonished, not to mention completely blown away, shocked, and possibly even vajazzled? Of course you are! And who knows, maybe this time Glenn Beck will actually deliver on his latest promise of a world-changing scoop. We’ve actually lost track of the times he’s played this little game, […]

Welcome to a Gummint Shutdown Edition of the Derp Roundup, your weekly accumulation of asinine asshattery from the aether that was too stoopid to ignore completely but that we weren’t inclined to waste a full-length post on. To start off, let’s do a little bit of mythbusting! We caught Tucker Carlson’s Home for Lying Liars […]

Glenn Beck has this whole government shutdown thing figured out: unlike every other government shutdown that resulted in Washington DC museums and monuments being closed to the public, this shutdown is actually the first phase of a Marxist Communist revolution being plotted by a cabal of “Marxist revolutionaries” who have cleverly calculated Marxist Communist ways to […]

Glenn Beck is a Wonkette fan favorite for political genius, but sometimes Glenn also goes all showbiz critic and shares with us his thoughts and feels on upcoming movies. It’s like Roger Ebert, except petulant and with no soul. So my secret-boyfriend-even-though-I-am-a-ghey Leonardo DiCaprio is set to produce and star in a movie that does […]

Glenn Beck has decided that his favorite conservative anthem is now “War: What Is It Good For? (Absolutely Nothin’).” You see, Glenn had a moment of revelation: This whole Syria thing, man, it’s just about the oil, you know? (Syria doesn’t have that much oil, really, but don’t stop him, he’s on a roll). And […]

This week’s New York Times is full of Syria, as the paper of record really should be at this point. Even some people we usually mock (looking at you, Frank Bruni) are turning in columns discussing the complexity and lack of good options in Syria. Perhaps the NYT has decided to adopt the official editorial […]