Tag: glenn beck

No one will be able to read them, anyway.

Wonkagenda: Thursday, October 6, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!
The best way to read your Sunday NYT

Wonkagenda: Monday, September 19, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

Tomi Lahren Says Colin Kaepernick Only Allowed To Protest His Own Dad

Tomi Lahren is clearly triggered by seeing black people protest racism, maybe she needs a safe space?
What are we supposed to do with these finger puppets? What are 'fingers' anyway?

Wonkagenda: Thursday, August 25, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

Glenn Beck Says ‘Black Lives Matter,’ Because Obviously WAIT UP, GLENN BECK SAID WHAT???

Glenn Beck correct about a thing, STOP THE PRESSES.
Gotta catch 'em all, two by two

Glenn Beck Yelling At Bill Nye About Noah’s Ark, Because Science

Glenn Beck briefly surfaced from complete obscurity to try to bair Bill Nye the Science Guy into an argument about Noah's Ark. It was sad.

White Lady Tomi Lahren SO MAD Jesse Williams Won’t Thank Her For Freeing The Slaves

Tomi Lahren is sick and tired of being victimized by black people who won't pretend racism doesn't exist.

Glenn Beck Knows Glenn Beck Is A Real Civil Rights Leader, Unlike That ‘Clown’ John Lewis

In which Glenn Beck revokes John Lewis's Civil Rights Leader Card and bestows it upon himself and his audience.

Conservatives Can’t Even Call Obama A Monkey Anymore, Unfair! Your Weekly Top Ten

Oh good morning, Wonkers! It is Saturday, which means is time for your happy joyful list of the top ten posts of the week, aren't you excited about that? Pour yourself some coffee or Ovaltine or moonshine, whatever you...
What about Glenn Beck's future, huh?

Glenn Beck Forgot To Tell People ‘Don’t Assassinate Donald Trump,’ And Now He Is Suspended :(

Glenn Beck has been suspended for a whole week from SiriusXM after a purely speculative conversation about whether Donald Trump should be assassinated. Huh.

Glenn Beck Fails To Drown Total Muslim Grover Norquist In Bathtub

Talk show has-been Glenn Beck has failed to kick tax-cut guru Grover Norquist out of the National Rifle Association for being a Muslim Brotherhood spy. It's like nobody wants to have a good paranoid purge anymore.

Ted Cruz Willing To Get Back Into America’s Pants If Nebraska Asks Him Nicely Enough

Also Heidi says the Ted Cruz campaign is just like the fight to end slavery, and now we are REALLY worried about her.

Treasury Putting Black People And Women All Over Our Money, America Fails To Freak Out

The forces of Political Correctness continue to roll all over our U.S. American money! In addition to making abolitionist, spy, and all-around badass Harriet Tubman the new face of the $20 bill, the Treasury Department has announced a whole...
Oh christ, she's TRYING to be funny...

Sarah Palin Right About Thing, When Thing = ‘Don’t Wish Gang-Rape On Sarah Palin’

<a href="http://wonkette.com/599566/half-term-governor-says-half-term-senator-too-inexperienced-to-be-half-term-president"></a>Never say that Wonkette is not fair to Sarah Palin. Oh yeah, we are usually making hilarious jokes about how she quits everything and she's a giant grifter and she can't talk good, and maybe if she spent...

America Might Not Have Embarrassing Clown Louie Gohmert To Kick Around Any More

Presidential candidates aren't the only thing Texas is going to play Hold 'Em with on Super Tuesday, as there is also GOHMERS! Texas Congresscritter Louis Bumblescrunch Gohmert IV (R-Some Shithole) is under attack in his own backyard! No, not from...

Glenn Beck Loves Ted Cruz So Much He Wants To Lose Weight For Him

Do you guys remember Glenn Beck? Gray-haired fellow, wept a lot? Preppy clothes? Opened his own weird America-loving clothing line, broke his brain? Not ringing a bell? Did we mention the part where he was a literal crying machine,...