glenn beck
Glenn Beck Wants His Tax Dollar Back Because Terrorism
Glenn Beck — the man who is too crazy even for Fox News, and also can spell real good — is determined to get to the bottom of how the Boston marathon bombing is somehow Obama’s fault because that’s how much he loves America. In April, he explained how the Saudi guy did it, and [...]
Louie Gohmert: Boston Bombings Happened Because Eric Holder Gay-Married To Islam
Texas Congressman Louie Gohmert (R-Lookatmee), clearly worried that he was no longer on the leading edge of crazed paranoia, suggested today that Attorney General Eric Holder allowed Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev to be read his Miranda rights not because Tsarnaev is a U.S. Citizen entitled to certain rights under the Constitution, but because Holder [...]
Looks Like Glenn Beck Has At Least Four Listeners In The House Who Want To Know About Saudi ‘Bomber’
As the world waits on its tenterhooks — which are surprisingly comfortable, and shaped liked a sofa — for Glenn Beck to release his DAMNING EVIDENCE about the US government coverup of the SAUDI NATIONAL who has already been cleared in the matter of the Boston Bombing, we learn that Beck has at least four [...]
Glenn Beck Ready For Impeachment Already, Because Of Saudi Bomber Cover-Up, What?
Glenn Beck is still convinced — as of this morning — that the SAUDI NATIONAL (who’s already been cleared) he fingered earlier this week is up to his Saudi ears in the Boston bombings, along with those nice Chechen boys. And that everybody will be fired. And that the president will be impeached.
Federal Government Either Deporting or Not Deporting Guy Who Definitely Bombed Boston and Either Way We’re Outraged
If you are the kind of radical extremist who gets his news from “newspapers” or “television” or other sources of so-called “journalism,” you probably think we don’t yet know who perpetrated Monday’s deadly bomb attack in Boston. But if you’re among the loyal members of Glenn Beck’s Internet media empire, you know the truth: the [...]
Glenn Beck Harnesses His Mighty Intellect, Ciphers Out Why No American Could Have Done Boston
We are still in that exciting post-tragedy time when nobody really knows a goddamn thing, but it is very, very important to speculate wildly as to the identity of the Bad Guys! There is a News Hole that needs a-fillin’, after all! Let’s see what Glenn Beck has stuffed into that particular gaping aperture…other than, [...]
Glenn Beck: The Only Logical Response To Boston Marathon Bombing Is To Make Glenn Beck Wealthier
We don’t yet know who is responsible for the horrific bombings in Boston yesterday, but we do know they are a sign of society’s imminent collapse, and that those unprepared for our post-apocalyptic future are destined to die alone in the streets. How do we know this? Because Glenn Beck, America’s foremost historian* and greatest [...]
Alan Keyes Reveals His Eleventy-Million-Word-Plan For Keyesian Ascendance Over The Traitor Glenn Beck
It is always hard when your amazing social movement reaches the schism stage, isn’t it? First you’re best buds, pallin’ around together creating revolution, and next thing you know you’ve got an icepick buried in your skull. Relive the golden era of Soviet infighting and murder with your new Stalin and Trotsky, Alan Keyes and [...]
Glenn Beck Going To Be So Sad, You Guys
We come bearing devastating news. Actually two pieces of news, one devastating and one not-as-devastating. The first piece of news is that the Golden Era is over. As in, the price of gold cannot be expected to continue rising as it has been. Does this mean that we will stop being inundated with commercials with [...]
Glennbeckistan: Your Libertarian-Commune Paradise Awaits
Time to revisit the attention-whore time-suck that is Glenn Beck. Earlier this week, we had Glenn Beck explaining how his pathetic internet empire will now become some sort of global libertarian news powerhouse, complete with foreign bureaus. (Wingnut fightsies sidenote: Alex Jones went on HuffPost Live to claim that Glenn Beck stoled all his ideas [...]
Glenn Beck Has The Internet You’ve All Been Waiting For
What time is it?? Time for another groundbreaking Glenn Beck rebranding! Awwww yeah! The moment you’ve not even a little bit been waiting for is here at last. First, there was GBTV, a thrilling all-Beck internet network that was made more thrilling by the fact that you had to pay to see it. We and [...]
Here Is Victoria Jackson Not Being Totally Mentally Ill About Als Gore And Jazeera
Our old pal Victoria Jackson has been kind of mentally ill on her Facebook page lately, so we did not make fun of her for it because SAD FACE. (We try not to make fun of the actually mentally ill, though we fucked up on that P-E-N-I-S lady, and we’re pretty torn about yesterdays gaysatanbuttbabies.) [...]
Why Wouldn’t Al Gore Sell His Teevee Channel To Awesome Fair Journalists At Glenn Beck’s ‘The Blaze’?
Hey there, self-hating Americans. Are you interested in accessing quality programming like This Decadent, Doomed American Life? Or how about All Things Categorically Denied and Seemingly Random Executions Considered? Well, get pumped, because Al Gore is selling Current TV to sexy Arab news giant Al Jazeera, and he doesn’t care how many of Glenn Beck’s [...]
Wingnuts Simply Do Not Care For Nancy Pelosi Answering Back To A Man
This is Nancy Pelosi, mom, grandma, Armani model, and once the most powerful woman in the nation. And here she is, flappin’ her gums about blah blah blah middle class blah blah blah who cares? Well, at some point during this period of time, when she is distinctly not making anyone a sandwich, Texas idiot [...]
blog advertising is good for you
