The worst bands on Earth are very offended that their music has been played at Gitmo as part of actual torture, which, legally-speaking, is somehow different than being playing in your stupid brother’s car like constantly. All your favorites—Trent Reznor, Billy Bragg, Tom Morello, etc. etc.—have joined the National Campaign to Close Guantanamo, some sort of Traveling Wilburys-like superband. “Guantanamo may be Dick Cheney’s idea of America, but it’s not mine. The fact that music I helped create was used in crimes against humanity sickens me — we need to end torture and close Guantanamo now,” said Morello, he of Rage Against the Machine. Oh man, things are about to get so heavy and shit. MORE »

Twas only Monday when we even first met the Liz Monster, Dick Cheney’s spawn-object, and her feared Internet chimera KeepAmericaSafe.com. Well, now it is Wednesday and the Liz Monster must defend herself against a formidable enemy force composed of actual former generals in the US Army who will fight the Liz Monster until she glissades back into the mountains of Hell and stops frightening Earth’s creatures. Really. MORE »

A choice bit of news today for terrorists and people who just seem like terrorists: Obama and his legal pals have decided that they will not be giving themselves any more pretend legal authority in order to detain suspicious people indefinitely. It turns out Bush and Cheney did a pretty comprehensive job of back in 2001 rounding up all the authority on Earth and renditioning the shit out of it in Gitmo and Bagram. MORE »

ABOUT THAT TERRIBLE THING THAT OBAMA IS DOING: We’ve had this question for approximately six to eight months but keep forgetting to post about it, because more important things like teabaggers and birthers and deathers and Meghan McCain and Chuck Grassley’s Twitter must be attended to with haste, at all times. So. Question: Why is Obama maintaining a lawless secret detention center (Bagram) that’s potentially worse than Guantanamo Bay? WAIT — SECOND QUESTION: Why is Obama restarting a war in Afghanistan? Just those two things. Now, back to the usual smut. [ABC News]

Iowa Rep. Steve King, easily one of the top five House wingnuts and perhaps the most overtly evil and sneering one, has this to say about why we shouldn’t close Guantanamo Bay (where we could still keep the innocent Uighurs, whose imminent release was ordered by a federal court in 2008): MORE »

YOU MUST WATCH FOX & FRIENDS DISCUSS THE UIGHURS’ RELEASE TO VARIOUS ISLAND NATIONS: Thank you Gawker for having video interns to capture the marvelous nonsense from this morning’s edition of Fox & Friends, the topic being “these Uighur characters,” in the words of Steve Doocy. “Do you want to go to a place where that guy over there, in the sombrero, was actually trained in a terror camp in Afghanistan?” (Bermuda is one of the Mexicos now.) [Gawker]

Just in time for Video Friday comes the RNC’s latest Guantanamo Bay video, outlining the very serious position that all but six members of the United States Senate have taken with regard to prisoner detention. [Balloon Juice]

Well, this would certainly explain why Colorado is under constant assault from terrorist organizations seeking to free their own, and why the whole state has descended into a state of anarchy as Terrorist Cooties spread faster than the swine flu. “Thirty-three international terrorists, many with ties to al-Qaeda, reside in a single federal prison in Florence, Colo., with little public notice,” announces the Washington Post. THANKS DUDES YOU JUST TOLD AL QAEDA WHERE TO LOOK. [Washington Post]

If there’s two things our president loves, it’s detention camps and torture. So, obviously, he just used the whole “I will shut down that terrible den of Cuban shame” line to get into office, knowing that once he got in he would stop at nothing to open a thousand Guantanamos all over the Atlantic. We hear this speech he’s about to give, allegedly “explaining” his recent “decisions,” is really going to be one of these namby-pamby “on the one hand, but on the other hand” type deals that he loves so much. Let’s WATCH and LEARN. MORE »

Hmm, don’t recall many Democratic Leaders complaining during the 2008 campaign about Barack Obama’s explicit plan to shut down Guantanamo Bay, the obvious implication being that those with viable charges would be transferred to American (and a few European) prisons to face trial, while others with no charges would be released (and tracked!) in order to restore Law, which no one ever said would be easy but hey, free society, deal with it. We even recall these Democratic Leaders clapping and agreeing! They clapped and agreed again on Obama’s second day in office, too, when he signed an executive order to shut it down! So why did the Senate vote 90-6 today “to prohibit funding to transfer, release, or incarcerate detainees detained at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, to or within the United States,” like a bunch of sallies? MORE »

Remember Guantanamo Bay, that rascally little island paradise which sorta robbed America of any remaining moral superiority it had been frittering away since World War II? Well, Obama FAILED in his promise to personally release and hump every prisoner within, so it’s still housing terrible foreigners. But after seven years, National Geographic somehow managed to sneak in and make a documentary about it, and your Wonkette was invited to preview the horror. MORE »