Tag: girl scouts

How is this helping the war effort? IT ISN'T!

Barack Obama Records 15 Minutes Of Science Teevee. WHY ISN’T HE KILLING ISIS???

a href="http://wonkette.com/580555/girl-scouts-show-obama-science-projects-he-did-not-build"One of the nice things the White House does every year is its Science Fair, which is usually good for some nifty videos of Barack Obama playing with a marshmallow cannon or meeting adorable Super Girl Scouts who...

St. Louis Archbishop Pretty Certain Girl Scouts Are Tools Of The Devil

Does the Catholic Church as an institution give you whiplash? Us also too! Just in the last 48 hours, we saw Pope Francis mention that oh hey, it would be really cool if no government on God's green Earth...
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort Heidi.

Ted Cruz Demands Next President Start His Day Praying To Jesus Or Giving Head

Another week, another Jesusfestapalooza of Jesus-Americans letting their Jesus-freak flag fly, in the name of the holy spirit of founding fathers, amen. This one was called the "National Religious Liberties Conference," emceed by rightwing radio preacher Kevin Swanson, homeschooling advocate...
All Hail the Risen Blingee

Why Do You Weep? Blingee Lives! Your Saturday Nerdout

Hey, remember how a week or so back we were all bummed because one of the most useful dumb wonderful things on the Internet, Blingee, was going away forever? Turns out that the public reaction was so anguished, so...
Just put a Band-Aid on it, don't be so weak and unprofessional.

Trump Supporters Making America Great Again, By Beating Homeless Hispanic Dudes

As Josh Marshall of Talking Points Memo so astutely pointed out, ladies and dude-ladies, we have our "first Trump-inspired hate crime." It was YOOOOGE. You see, first they pissed on a 58-year-old homeless Hispanic man, which woke him up....
THE CUTEST.

Sarah Palin Declares Independence From Pretending To Be Employed. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Hey Wonkers, happy Fourth of July weekend and shit! Do you need a nap? We sure do! Let's all snuggle dressed like burritos after we read this post, like Wonkette baby, pictured above. (Did you SEE Editrix's baby pictures...
Editrix can have Old Handsome Joe Biden, we like Sexy Obama.

Barack Obama’s Terrible, Horrible, Badass, Balls Out Rager Of A Week

Oh look at the White House all BRAGGIN' and shit. That Nice Time video above was provided to yr Wonkette (and by "provided," we mean we went to the White House website and copied the embed code) as a...

Girl Scouts Sneak Past Secret Service, Camp Out On White House Lawn

Ok, this is just all kinds of cute -- to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the National Parks system and Michelle Obama's "Let's Move!" healthy-stuff initiative, and also because there's just never a bad time to have photos of...
Even ones religious right assholes don't like.

Girl Scouts Will Get Along Just Fine Without Transgender-Hating Bigot Bucks, Thank You

As you are all aware, the Girl Scouts is a super badass organization. Its leadership is SO liberal, the Scouts are turning all of America's girls into militant man-hating lesbian vegans with bitchin' abortion skills. And it costs money to indoctrinate all...
They look pretty dangerous. Probably sell those abortion cookies, too.

Maryland Girl Scouts Too Black To Have Opinions On Animal Abuse, We Guess

Somebody needs to let the people of Cecil County, Maryland, know how the plot of an uplifting Capraesque movie is supposed to go: An intrepid local journalist uncovers a scandalous bad thing, the Powers that Be don't do much...

Girl Scouts Show Obama Science Projects He Did Not Build

Hide the kids, President Obama is trying to make them care about science again, what a jerk. And worse, he wants to spend YOUR MONEY to do it: As part of the Fair, President Obama will announce over $240 million...
So arrogant!

Wingnut Kevin Swanson Warns About Girl Scout Lesbians, Because He Is A Weirdo

If you read Wonk on the regular, you will recognize Kevin Swanson as the wingnut homeschool advocate Dok did a nice series of book reports on in his always lovely feature Sundays With The Christianists. Swanson is also pretty sure...
Dear Editor: I have had it up to here with playing second fiddle to a bunch of stupid marshmallow horses...

Deleted Comments: We Were Very Mean To Barack Obama And Those Girl Scouts And We Should Feel Bad

Beyond all the half-priced candy, one thing we like about going to the store after Christmas is the sudden arrival of pallets of storage supplies -- it holds out the hope that if you just buy the right plastic...
So arrogant!

Obama Proclaims Self Princess-For-Life Of America

In case you have any doubts that Barack Obama believes himself to be not merely an employee of the People of the United States, but rather an emperor or a czar or a pretty pony princess, look no further than this June...

‘Science’ Center Teaches Boys Rocketry, Girls Makeup. Internet Certain To Be Pleased. (Updated)

UPDATE: Carnegie Science Center has responded; see end of post. You know what kids love? Kids love science! Science is exciting, and it builds critical thinking skills, and it's actually more than just a little bit fun if you...

Derp Roundup: Your Weekly Gala Of Goofs And Gomers

Welcome to another Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we scrape our browser tabs for the stories that are too stoopid to ignore altogether but not quite worth a full post, stir in some weapons-grade snark, and serve it...