Tag: gilf

Today We Celebrate Five Years Of Laughing Our Asses Off At Sarah Palin, But We Will Probably Quit By Noon Also

Happy anniversary, America! Light your Jahrzeit candle, because today is the five-year anniversary of the day John McCain got all mavericky and picked Sarah Palin's well-jogged ass off a Google image page of lady GOPers to be his co-loser...

Time Travel With Wonkette To The Marvelous Day When John McCain Picked Sarah Palin, America’s GILF

Following Willard Mittsworth Moneybaggs Romney IV's introduction of his exciting Veep pick, Paul Ryan, Your Wonkette presents a look back at the heady days of 2008, when enfeebled man-who-would-be-king John McCain invigorated his moribund campaign by choosing as his...

These Sarah Palin Fans Just Want To Hump Her

Before you dismiss this video as another "cute red-state gal is going to cum again remembering how the beautiful Sarah Palin touched her," please just duct-tape yourself to the office chair and watch the WHOLE THING because, good god,...

It’s Sarah Palin’s Last Weekday In Office

Hey YOU GUYS why is this day different from all other days? Because it is the very last weekday in the history of Man in which Sarah Palin will serve the great state of Alaska as its mascot. On...

Sarah Palin Returns To Alaska

Just a few short months ago, your Wonkette loved the snow dwarf Sarah Palin and all the adorable scrapes she got into -- for example, being sexily "rear-ended" by a complete stranger outside Anchorage. But then one fateful day...

The Couric/Palin Sexterview: It Just Gets Worse

OK Sarah LOOK: no one has any fun mocking you anymore. Just please go back to Alaska and continue firing your ex-brother's sister's aunt's abusive husband's police dog's baby's commissioner again, as you were until this dumb butt, McCain,...

As America Burned, Sarah Palin Tanned, In A Tanning Bed, In The Governor’s Mansion

Alaskan dingbat Sarah Palin did something very important when she became governor of Alaska just 19 months ago: She had a tanning bed installed in the governor's mansion -- the one she refuses to live in, so she could...

Wonkette Exclusive: Photos From Sarah Palin’s Rally In Fairbanks!

Last night Sarah Palin flew back to her ice cave and gave a rousing address to her people on the snowy tundra. An Undercover Moosketeer Obamatard kindly snapped a few candid photos from the rally and sent them along....

Sarah Palin Always Breaking the Law In Typical Snowbilly Fashion

If only John McCain had learned about the Internet before he chose Sarah Palin -- so much "cyber vetting" could've happened. Instead, a bunch of hungover libtard bloggers are using their favorite friend (the Internet) to dig up all...

Ben Stein Repulsed By Sarah Palin, Thinks Henry Kissinger Should ‘Babysit’ Her

Here's teevee's Ben Stein, the funny conservative author and Nixon/Ford speechwriter best known for that game show and yelling at Matthew Broderick in the 1980s. He is not impressed with Sarah Palin. No matter what weird causes Ben Stein...

Liveblogging Famous Historical War Leader Sarah Palin at the RNC

Guess who hasn't been mentioned at all tonight? America's favorite president, George W. Bush Junior! It's as if Republicans haven't held the White House for the past eight years. Who can remember that far back? So let's welcome the...

McCAIN TRYING TO STEAL WONKETTE'S PAGE VIEWS: As your Wonkette staggers under the heavy load of a trillion people trying to find Sarah Palin pictures online, the evil anti-capitalist McCain Campaign is attempting to steal our precious web traffic...

Fun Comedy, About Sarah Palin, and John McCain!

NOT SAFE FOR WORK, whatever, dumb, vulgar, ha ha, kind of funny, the Palin actress is pretty great with the nose and lipstick, whatever, good night, enjoy the deal, okay, good night forever.

Sarah Sinking So Fast That RNC Co-Chair Just Called Her ‘Sarah Pawlenty’

Besides her sudden disappearance from tonight's RNC lineup, there are many other signs that Sarah Palin will be the first major-party veep nominee to drop off the ticket since George McGovern dumped Thomas Eagleton for being crazy, way back...

McCain Wanted Vinegar Joe Lieberman For Veep

Here is the story of how John McCain picked his running mate: after Barack Obama selected Joe Biden instead of Hillary Clinton, McCain went on a six-day Nyquil bender and at the end of it slurred, "Get me one...

Tuesday Morning Sarah Palin Premature Withdrawal Watch

Why did mean old John McCain ruin our favorite Klondike Snow Bunny's happy life? It's another day, which means it's another day of embarrassing revelations about Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin -- last week she was America's Hottest Governor, and...