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Posts Tagged ‘gilf’

OCCASIONS FOR SOLEMN REFLECTION

It’s Sarah Palin’s Last Weekday In Office

Friday, July 24th, 2009

So long, fraudbot!Hey YOU GUYS why is this day different from all other days? Because it is the very last weekday in the history of Man in which Sarah Palin will serve the great state of Alaska as its mascot. On Saturday she will rest. And on Sunday she will turn over the reins of power to somebody who won’t be harassed to death by frivolous libtards. MORE »


FAREWELL ANGER BEAR

Sarah Palin Returns To Alaska

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008

Let Sarah be Sarah!Just a few short months ago, your Wonkette loved the snow dwarf Sarah Palin and all the adorable scrapes she got into — for example, being sexily “rear-ended” by a complete stranger outside Anchorage. But then one fateful day in late August, cruel John McCain had to nominate Sarah Palin for vice president, and overnight the charming and harmless governor of a charming and harmless state transformed into a snarling, sneering peddler of ignorant racist garbage, and we were sad. MORE »


COMPLETE AGONY

The Couric/Palin Sexterview: It Just Gets Worse

Thursday, September 25th, 2008

OK Sarah LOOK: no one has any fun mocking you anymore. Just please go back to Alaska and continue firing your ex-brother’s sister’s aunt’s abusive husband’s police dog’s baby’s commissioner again, as you were until this dumb butt, McCain, put you on his ticket. Go back to being a GILF. You were so lovely, then. [Gawker]


LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH AND FAMOUS

As America Burned, Sarah Palin Tanned, In A Tanning Bed, In The Governor’s Mansion

Monday, September 15th, 2008

Hi Orangey.Alaskan dingbat Sarah Palin did something very important when she became governor of Alaska just 19 months ago: She had a tanning bed installed in the governor’s mansion — the one she refuses to live in, so she could charge Alaskan taxpayers $17,000 to sleep in her other tanning bed, at home in Wasilla. Now we breathlessly await confirmation that she also had a tattoo parlor set up in the executive office. [The Field/Narco News]


SPYCAM

Wonkette Exclusive: Photos From Sarah Palin’s Rally In Fairbanks!

Thursday, September 11th, 2008

America's GovernorLast night Sarah Palin flew back to her ice cave and gave a rousing address to her people on the snowy tundra. An Undercover Moosketeer Obamatard kindly snapped a few candid photos from the rally and sent them along. Here we have the vice-president-to-be in literally the only unflattering photograph we have ever seen of her. And yet! Even here she is not looking crazy-eyed or duck-faced, just vaguely reptilian. Sarah Palin, we salute you. MORE »


CONVICTED CRIMINALS

Sarah Palin Always Breaking the Law In Typical Snowbilly Fashion

Friday, September 5th, 2008

Back to the old Fail-o-Meter!If only John McCain had learned about the Internet before he chose Sarah Palin — so much “cyber vetting” could’ve happened. Instead, a bunch of hungover libtard bloggers are using their favorite friend (the Internet) to dig up all kinds of half-ass semi-comical crimes committed by that beloved Alaskan anger-bear, Sarah Palin. MORE »


BUELLER?... BUELLER?... BUELLER?

Ben Stein Repulsed By Sarah Palin, Thinks Henry Kissinger Should ‘Babysit’ Her

Thursday, September 4th, 2008


Here’s teevee’s Ben Stein, the funny conservative author and Nixon/Ford speechwriter best known for that game show and yelling at Matthew Broderick in the 1980s. He is not impressed with Sarah Palin. No matter what weird causes Ben Stein supports, he has never been very forgiving of total idiots.


JESUS CHRIST HAS RETURNED TO EARTH

Liveblogging Famous Historical War Leader Sarah Palin at the RNC

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008

The next pretend president, after Old McCain dies!Guess who hasn’t been mentioned at all tonight? America’s favorite president, George W. Bush Junior! It’s as if Republicans haven’t held the White House for the past eight years. Who can remember that far back? So let’s welcome the new Geraldine Ferraro, “Barracuda Sarah” Palin — her own sister just called her that, on CNN — as she squeaks through a speech destined to give John McCain the SURGE he needs to finish this campaign as a complete sell-out loser who stands for nothing. Go Sarah! MORE »


INTERNET SCAMS

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008

Flat but not ... uh who caresMcCAIN TRYING TO STEAL WONKETTE’S PAGE VIEWS: As your Wonkette staggers under the heavy load of a trillion people trying to find Sarah Palin pictures online, the evil anti-capitalist McCain Campaign is attempting to steal our precious web traffic with this Google Ad: “Sarah Palin Photos: Get Official Campaign Photos of Governor Sarah Palin Today! JohnMcCain.com/Palin.”


VPILF

Fun Comedy, About Sarah Palin, and John McCain!

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008


NOT SAFE FOR WORK, whatever, dumb, vulgar, ha ha, kind of funny, the Palin actress is pretty great with the nose and lipstick, whatever, good night, enjoy the deal, okay, good night forever.


SNOWBILLY MELTDOWN

Sarah Sinking So Fast That RNC Co-Chair Just Called Her ‘Sarah Pawlenty’

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008

Besides her sudden disappearance from tonight’s RNC lineup, there are many other signs that Sarah Palin will be the first major-party veep nominee to drop off the ticket since George McGovern dumped Thomas Eagleton for being crazy, way back in 1972. What are the other chilling new signs of Snowbilly Loserdom? MORE »