Tag Archives: gifts

  spare change we can believe in

Terrible Michelle And Barack Obama Don’t Give Their Kids Birthday Presents

Well, this is the topper. Barack Obama cannot be the American president because he refuses to participate in our glorious national tradition of giving our children lots of expensive plastic shit for them to choke on all the time. These communist Obamas throw birthday parties for their tots but do not give them actual presents. What other subversive values are the Obamas teaching their children? Read more on Terrible Michelle And Barack Obama Don’t Give Their Kids Birthday Presents…
 

An Extended Mockery Of John McCain’s Gift Shop

What’s everyone doing today? Giving speeches. About the economy. To humans. Also, gas prices are high! And everyone in New York City has herpes, ha ha. You all have herpes and the flu too. Let’s make fun of John McCain’s gift shop some more. Read more on An Extended Mockery Of John McCain’s Gift Shop…
 

Gun Nut Murtha Aide Misspent Funds On Fancy Rifle

John Hugya, Pennsylvania Representative Jack Murtha’s chief of staff, used Murtha campaign funds to buy a rifle and some knives and other gun-nut baubles at an auction held by the Friends of the National Rifle Association. And then Hugya counted the $2151 he spent as a gift from the Murtha campaign, even though the Murtha folks said the money was a payment to Friends of the NRA for “advertising.” Talk about a scandal! Read more on Gun Nut Murtha Aide Misspent Funds On Fancy Rifle…
 

Paultards Minting Delicious Edible Money

It’s too late for this year, but maybe next Valentine’s Day you can give your favorite Libertarian a sweet treat that’s also a kick in the nuts to the ILLEGAL UNCONSTITUTIONAL “FEDERAL” RESERVE. Start stockpiling now! [RonPaulChocolate.com] Read more on Paultards Minting Delicious Edible Money…
 

Kucinich Sells Horrible Recount Relic for Xmas

Still haven’t bought your special someone a Christmas gift? Well let salesman Dennis Kucinich make you v. v. special offer: For only $219.95, Dennis Kucinich sell you “a Palm Beach County voting machine from the 2000 election ‘containing actual chads,’ with a ‘replica butterfly ballot’ and a letter signed by Kucinich proclaiming ‘the stolen presidential election of 2000,'” to quote Gannett News. Very good price, my friend. Read more on Kucinich Sells Horrible Recount Relic for Xmas…
 

It’s Not His Fault He’s So Likable!

newVideoPlayer("Hucks_Gifts_Snapper.flv", 475, 376); Brian Williams is, like, soooo mean about all the gifts that people wanted to give former Governor Mike Huckabee. I mean, he’s just such an awesome dude that of course people wanted to give him stuff which was totally legal anyway. I mean, who wouldn’t want to outfit his wife, Janet, with $23,000 of inaugural clothes, or give Mike guitars, or award them both jewelry, free dental care and free dry cleaning. And, if course, back in his fat days, it was a true kindness that Wendy’s gave him 50 percent off all his hamburgers. It’s because he’s nice, ok? There’s nothing shady about it at all. Read more on It’s Not His Fault He’s So Likable!…
 

Be a Bloodthirsty Mercenary, or Look Just Like One!

Yesterday, we brought you the New York Times roundup of crappy campaign swag, an action which virtually guarantees that within a couple of weeks, college campuses will be rife with ironic hipsters strutting around with Huckabee messenger bags. Today’s shopping trip is to the wonderful, wonderful Blackwater store, a shop bursting with a fabulous array of fashions for him, her and baby, too! Read more on Be a Bloodthirsty Mercenary, or Look Just Like One!…
 

President Probably the Type Who Gives Gift Cirtificates For Birthdays

Vladimir Putin’s Kennebunkport visit ended with a surprising shared defense proposal that both sides will debate for a while before ultimately shelving until both presidents are replaced by overwhelmed successors. Also, G. H. W. Bush gave Vlad a present! Read more on President Probably the Type Who Gives Gift Cirtificates For Birthdays…
 

Time To Cross Everybody Off Your List

We got a crucial e-mail from GOP.com today: You must order your 2007 Republican calendar by Thursday to receive these beauties in time for Jesus’ “birth day.” “The holidays can be a hectic time of year for us all,” the GOP tells us. “Cross one more item off your to-do list by purchasing this limited edition calendar as a gift for your friends and family today.” There’s a lot more to the calendars than sexy pictures of Big Time stroking a fence pole. For example, here’s a picture of Bush personally keeping soldiers from escaping Iraq. Read more on Time To Cross Everybody Off Your List…
 

Katherine Harris Is a Force of Nature (Among Other Things)

Congresswoman Katherine Harris folds out conveniently into a comfortable hide-a-bed. (AP) You cannot stop Katherine Harris. You can only hope to contain her. As she told some room full of old Floridians yesterday: “Perhaps in some elite circles, the reason I have not gotten more support… is because they don’t believe I can be controlled[.]” No man can tame her. No blouse can rein her in. No sweater can hold her back. And hey, in that Center for Public Integrity report we glossed over and partially misread earlier today, there’s this little gem of a Katherine Harris anecdote: At least 150 forms list no sponsor. In one such instance in 2003, Rep. Katherine Harris, R-Fla., was a guest at The Breakers resort in Palm Beach, Fla., site of the Restoration Weekend event Nov. 14-16. Harris’s form shows that her hotel room cost $1,032 and her meals $259.56. But it fails to reveal the trip’s sponsor, itinerary or purpose, instead referring the reader to an attached three-page agenda. Rest of the story, after the jump. Read more on Katherine Harris Is a Force of Nature (Among Other Things)…