Barack Obama Sucks At Giving Presents
Friday, March 6th, 2009
This is sort of shocking, honestly — who would have thought that a guy who’s so great at throwing fancy dinner parties and entertaining guests would be such a shitty gift-giver? President Obama gave British Prime Minister Gordon Brown a set of 25 great American films on his recent visit to the US, whereas Brown gave Obama a pen, for heaven’s sake, and a book. Millions of Britons are appalled at this asymmetry of gifts. Why must Barack Obama crap all over our “special relationship” with Britain, &c. &c? [Daily Mail]
Faithful commenter “Norbert” sends us this touching image from Canuckistan. President Obama will be visiting in a few days, and the Canadians are quite excited! “Here is a kind of lousy photo of a great restaurant window in my hood in Toronto (a city here in Canada),” our commenter instructs us. “Maybe he will like the painting better than the 
Yo bitches check out the details about this FIRESALE at McCain-Palin headquarters, according to a report from an anonymous operative in Virginia: “I just came back from the McCain-Palin regional headquarters in Arlington, VA. They are selling all of their office equipment - it was very depressing, but I did lay hands on a nice 19″ LCD screen for only $113!” More infoz after the jump! 
Hmm. It appears as though this is happening next summer. Should we see Sean Hannity’s Bill Ray Cyrus brood over an extended version of “Achy Breaky Heart,” or shall we instead go with Sean Hannity’s Oliver North, who will… sell weapons to us? In musical form? What? [
What better way to celebrate your favorite President-elect than by taking a leering purple gnome-head and rubbing it joyously over your nethers? Buy sixteen million for your family and friends, for the holidays, and they will never ask you for a holiday gift again. [
Well, this is the topper. Barack Obama cannot be the American president because he refuses to participate in our glorious national tradition of giving our children lots of expensive plastic shit for them to choke on all the time. These communist Obamas throw birthday parties for their tots but do not give them actual presents. What other subversive values are the Obamas teaching their children? 
What’s everyone doing today? Giving speeches. About the economy. To humans. Also, gas prices are high! And everyone in New York City has 
John Hugya, Pennsylvania Representative Jack Murtha’s chief of staff, used Murtha campaign funds to buy a rifle and some knives and other gun-nut baubles at an auction held by the Friends of the National Rifle Association. And then Hugya counted the $2151 he spent as a gift from the Murtha campaign, even though the Murtha folks said the money was a payment to Friends of the NRA for “advertising.” Talk about a scandal! 
It’s too late for this year, but maybe next Valentine’s Day you can give your favorite Libertarian a sweet treat that’s also a kick in the nuts to the ILLEGAL UNCONSTITUTIONAL “FEDERAL” RESERVE. Start stockpiling now! [
Still haven’t bought your special someone a Christmas gift? Well let salesman Dennis Kucinich make you v. v. special offer: For only 