Tag Archives: ghost breitbart

  That'll Learn Him

Don’t Let Obama Give State Of The Union Speech, For The Constitution

Season's beatings! (oh Drudge Report, you cards!)
As a lovely holiday gift for the president (not a Christmas gift; he doesn’t get one), the geniuses at Dead Breitbart’s Home For Creative Assholery have floated a doozy of an idea — though only time will tell whether it’s a floater or a sinker. Joel Pollak has this modest proposal: Maybe Congress could express its displeasure at the president’s Illegal Unconstitutional Power Grab What Is Illegal And Unconstitutional by simply not inviting the Kenyan Usurper to sully its honorable halls with his presence for the State of the Union address next year. Genius! And next, they can tell him that he is also disinvited to their birthday party because he has Tyranny Cooties. Read more on Don’t Let Obama Give State Of The Union Speech, For The Constitution…
  postcard from idiot america

A Children’s Treasury Of Sober, Thoughtful Reflections On The 2014 Fort Hood Shootings

A terrible thing happened yesterday at Fort Hood in Killeen, Texas, and at this point, we don’t know much about the murderer, Ivan Lopez, except that he was an Iraq vet, was being treated for depression and anxiety, and was being evaluated for possible PTSD.  Those very limited details became available a few hours after the shootings. It didn’t take that long for other ideas to make their way into social media, however, like this charming thought from rightwing angerbucket Pat Dollard, who used to write for the Breitbart family of fine websites, posted shortly after news of the shootings broke, and after Dollard had posted three tweets about the shootings: To our knowledge, Lopez is not one of the infamous Islamabad Lopezes with whom we’re all familiar. But is that any reason not to call for “slaughtering Muslims in the streets”? Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Sober, Thoughtful Reflections On The 2014 Fort Hood Shootings…
  the re-love-ution will not be televised

Ron Paul Says He Wants A Revolution, Rand Paul Takes Money From People With Minds That Hate

Hey, kids, here’s a big surprise! Ron Paul thinks it’s high time for patriots to stop letting the federal government push them around, what with its “laws” and “healthcare mandate” and all that. What’s more, he thinks that there’s really no longer any reason to wait to start watering the ol’ Tree of Liberty with the blood of tyrants. Speaking in the former capitol of the Confederacy Monday in support of another Lost Cause, Ken Cuccinelli’s campaign for governor of Virginia, Paul said “We need someone to stand up to the authoritarians … They’re dictators.” …He stressed that the constitutional “right to keep and bear arms” was not for hunting, but to allow rebellion against tyrannical governments. “The Second Amendment was not there so you could shoot rabbits,” he said. “Right now today, we have a great threat to our liberties internally.” This talk of the need for revolution is certainly not unfamiliar to gun-fondlers, but as far as we can tell, this is the most direct call that Ron Paul has made for actually shooting people. Right now, today. Well, sure. why not? What could possibly go wrong? Read more on Ron Paul Says He Wants A Revolution, Rand Paul Takes Money From People With Minds That Hate…
  look what you made me do!

Ghost Breitbart Outraged: Obama May Blame Republicans If Republicans Shut Down Government

Watch out, Barry! Ghost Brietbart’s Home for Free-Floating Rage is on to your little scheme: President Barack Obama is reportedly trying to “establish an early narrative” to blame Republicans in case of a government shutdown or another financial crisis. However, Obama also said he would not negotiate with Republicans on raising the debt ceiling. Can you believe the nerve of this guy and his sneaky 11th-dimensional chess? If the Republicans have to shut down the government, Obama wants to portray that as some kind of “Republican shutdown of the government,” when clearly he is the one who is refusing to let them overturn the healthcare law that Congress passed and the Supreme Court found constitutional. What a thug. Read more on Ghost Breitbart Outraged: Obama May Blame Republicans If Republicans Shut Down Government…
  ugly vile little snark mob

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Stop Being Ugly And Vile

Golly, it’s been a busy week for the ol’ comments queue! Our first offering to the goddess Deletia is from the subject of one of our recent posts, Lee Stranahan of Ghost Breitbart’s Home for Endless Rightwing Butthurt. Sad Lee haz a sad because we did not recognize that his post about Matthew Shepard’s murder was a brilliant analysis of the left’s perfidy: I know you think it’s hip to form an ugly, vile little snark mob. Really, it’s just ugly and vile. And since you can’t actually counter the facts in my piece, it’s all straw men and bafflement. Got it. Not impressed. It’s exactly why I ran screaming from left. [sic] He then went on to identify the particular facts that we had been ugly and vile about. (Ha-ha, we are joking you of course! He just thinks we’re ugly and vile, and a snark mob). Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: Stop Being Ugly And Vile…
  Right In Der Fuhrer's Face

Ghost Breitbart: Maybe Hitler Was Gay! (Like Obama, Nudge-Nudge, Wink-Wink)

Actual history information: some maybe-newly-discovered postwar interview notes with Adolf Hitler’s doctors have turned up that have led Ghost Breitbart and the Washington Examiner to the Perfectly Reasonable Conclusion that Adolf Hitler was an obviously fogget. Despite the excitable headlines in the these two fine media establishments, however, Hitler’s doctors didn’t say he was gay — it was an Army interrogator who interviewed these doctors who said it. In shorthand. And if you can’t trust the judgment of an obscure Army guy, who can you trust? Better not allow gays to marry, or you’re asking for another Holocaust! (OK, OK, so the actual Zombie Breitbart article doesn’t say Obama is gay. Just all of the comments.) Read more on Ghost Breitbart: Maybe Hitler Was Gay! (Like Obama, Nudge-Nudge, Wink-Wink)…
  more dakka

Ghost Breitbart’s Cold Dead Fingers: Shoot Em Up Yeehaw!

Ghost Breitbart has a helpful tip for anyone trying to make sense of the chaos in Boston today: It would all be much, much better if only more people were packing heat. In response to events in which arms-carrying private citizens have stopped zero bombings and helped to apprehend zero terrorists, but in which two private citizens with guns apparently shot an MIT police officer to death, Mike Flynn advises (and again, we’re not linking because fuck them) that the manhunt for the surviving suspect, and the resulting lockdown of an entire city, “is a reminder of why millions of Americans cherish their right to own guns to protect themselves and their families.” Yup. We pity the poor chicken that this man insists on fucking again and again. Read more on Ghost Breitbart’s Cold Dead Fingers: Shoot Em Up Yeehaw!…
  fear of a black vacation

Matthew Boyle’s Latest Crusade For Breitbart’s Corpse: Let’s Put Those Awful Obama Daughters In Their Place

Striking a blow for Freedom from Decency and the “gentlemen’s agreements” that have for too long kept presidents’ children from being the political punching bags that 11 and 14 year olds totally need to be, Breitbart.com’s Chaotic Evil Shitbag Matthew Boyle triumphantly revealed the specific location where Sasha and Malia Obama are vacationing (link is to MediaMatters, not to Boyle, because we agree with Charlie Pierce: “No link, because fk that pudgy little monster”). In spite of possible security concerns and a “longstanding and informal agreement between successive administrations and the White House Correspondents’ Association,” Boyle found evidence that was so compelling that he absolutely had to reveal the information: Any combination of the name “Obama” and “vacation” generates crazy numbers of pageviews. Seriously. Just about any crap that claims to “reveal” the allegedly extravagant lifestyle of the Obamas will get idiots to flock to it. Read more on Matthew Boyle’s Latest Crusade For Breitbart’s Corpse: Let’s Put Those Awful Obama Daughters In Their Place…
  Find The Goof And Raze It

Ghost Breitbart Celebrates MLK Day By Trashing ‘Roots’ & Linking To Stormfront

When former (Republican) senator Lamar Alexander quoted Alex Haley, the author of Roots, at the Inauguration yesterday, Breitbart-remnant writer John Nolte knew exactly what was called for! You see, Alexander was a close friend of Haley (despite being a Republican — weird, right?), and invoked the late writer while introducing Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor: “The late Alex Haley, the author of ‘Roots,’ lived his life by these six words: ‘Find the good and praise it.’ Today we praise the American tradition of transferring or reaffirming immense power as we inaugurate the president of the United States.” For Nolte, it was as if the Dick Signal was lighting up the clouds on a moonless night. The minute he heard “Find the good and praise it,” he rushed to the Interwebs of Justice and “tweeted out the fact that Haley’s seminal work was a fraud”: Read more on Ghost Breitbart Celebrates MLK Day By Trashing ‘Roots’ & Linking To Stormfront…
  Passing the Baton

Ghost Andrew Breitbart Welcomes Moonie ‘Investigative Reporter’ For All Future Racism Debunkings

Lest anyone think that the continued twitchings of the Breitbart Empire represent some sort of chant du cygne, the crew at Big Government want you to know that there’s a danse macabre in the old dame yet! That is to say, just as Dick Cheney continues to feed on the souls of the living, Ghost Breitbart is still bringing in new blood. Just last week, they acquired Matthew Boyle for their important “black people are thugs” beat, and now, they’ve scored “investigative journalist” Kerry Picket from the Moonie Times. We’re pretty sure that we won’t accidentally call her “him” anymore! Read more on Ghost Andrew Breitbart Welcomes Moonie ‘Investigative Reporter’ For All Future Racism Debunkings…
  running for the moral high ground

Ghost Breitbart Notes Hypocrisy In Lack Of Dumb Political Hurricane Jokes

Guys, you will not believed this, but Joel Pollak, the genius non-email-reading editor in chief at Breitbart.com is very unhappy about the hypocrisy of the left! You see, Mr. Pollak has noticed that even though there were a number of jokes about Hurricane Isaac and the GOP Convention blowing into Tampa, Florida, at the same time, very few people are making political jokes about Hurricane Sandy. In a veritable storm surge of butthurt, he calls attention to this very revealing lack of dumb jokes: In August, the left found it amusing to speculate about Divine judgment when Hurricane Isaac seemed to be approaching Tampa, FL as the Republican National Convention began… As Hurricane Sandy bears down on heavily Democratic mid-Atlantic and northeast states, no one, left or right, is joking. Read more on Ghost Breitbart Notes Hypocrisy In Lack Of Dumb Political Hurricane Jokes…
  We Have Always Been at War with Eastquestria.

Ghost Breitbart: Murdoch’s Wall Street Journal Now Part Of Obama’s Propaganda Machine

Hey guys! Did you know that there’s a vast left-wing conspiracy to cover up the TRVTH about what happened in Libya? Totally factual and documented — at least, inside what Wonkette’s BFF Rachel Maddow calls the conservative “media bubble where [there are no] neutral or contrasting points of view.” And so, when Rupert Murdoch’s Wall Street Journal, a press organ (huh-huh… “organ”) that is usually thought of as a reliable part of that bubble, runs a story falling outside the accepted conservative narrative about Benghazi, the only rational response is to declare the WSJ part of a pro-Obama spin campaign. Makes sense to us! Posting at Dead Andrew Breitbart’s Big Journalism site, AWR Hawkins says that the WSJ is one of many “Obama surrogates in the mainstream media” bent on “providing a smokescreen for U.S. Ambassador Susan Rice.” Read more on Ghost Breitbart: Murdoch’s Wall Street Journal Now Part Of Obama’s Propaganda Machine…