ghost andrew breitbart
Breitbart’s Ben Shapiro Having Vapors Over Gay Sportsball Figure’s Private School Not Bullying Him Enough
Ghost Andrew Breitbart’s fuckmonkey medium, Ben Shapiro, is outraged again, you guys. Is it because handsome, popular people genuinely dislike him? Sure! But it is also because some people are intolerant of people who intolerant of homosexxxxiness. This week, a sportsball man said he was gay, and most people were like, “cool bro,” but some [...]
A Children’s Treasury Of Captain America Chris Evans Giving Major Side-Eye To Breitbart’s Ben Shapiro
You guys, a terrible thing has happened. Chris Evans, who is a very handsome man who gets paid very much muneez to be handsome and for us all to look at him being handsome, apparently has some Thoughts about politics and journamalism, and those thoughts are: he does not like Virgin Ben Shapiro of Ghost [...]
Friends of Wonkette: Help Us Decide Which Of Our Epic Blunders To Submit To The Breitbart Awards
by Stefan BC
Awards season is upon us! Yes, the Grammys and the Oscars already happened and the Emmys won’t be announced until September, but those don’t count because our probation officer won’t let us anywhere near those giant open bar events. No, instead we are waiting for the announcement of journalism’s most prestigious awards gala. The Pulitzers? [...]
Daily Caller’s Menendez Hooker: I Can’t Believe We Made Up The Whole Thing (Updated!)
Next-gen rightwing journamalism Great White Hope Matthew Boyle was pretty proud when the FBI did some boring raid on some shady eye doctor allegedly organizing underage sex-hookers for New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez. Boyle had been beating his horse for months over it, while no one respectable would touch it. (Your Wonkette, along with the [...]
Genius Cultural Observer Thaddeus McCotter Believes Breitbart and Co. Exude The Punk Rock Aesthetic, Is Wrong
by Stefan BC
Yr wonket already took it upon itself to publish our own acknowledgment that obnoxious douchebag Andrew made himself judgement-proof by dying last year. Given that this anniversary is probably the most interesting news story of the day outside of Josh Trevino’s Malaysian slush fund, we had some free time to browse through the various remembrances over [...]
Daily Caller Dances On Ghost Andrew Breitbart’s Internet Grave
Yesterday the Internet had such fun with the piling-on of Poor Ben Shapiro’s “Friends of Hamas” journabacle, and his subsequent feverish quadrupling-down. It was such fun that even Ghost Andrew Breitbart’s goosesteppers-in-arms, Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller, got in on the action this morning. And — we shit you not — they were kind of FUNNY? [...]
Contest! Can You Parse This Ghost Of Breitbart ‘Friends Of Hamas’ Non-Retraction?
We all had a good laugh this morning at pathetic bumbler Ben Shapiro, of Ghost Andrew Breitbart’s Internet Mausoleum, when it was revealed by some foxy Daily News reporter how Shapiro and The Ghost accidentally accused sad clown Chuck Hagel of being BFFs with a terror group that does not exist. And of course it [...]
Ghost Andrew Breitbart Stands By His Story On Terror Group That Does Not Exist
Andrew Breitbart would be rolling over in his grave if he had ever given a good goddamn about things like “journalism” and “not making up terrorist groups that paid off Chuck Hagel.” Fortunately, those were not at the top or anywhere else on the list of things he cared about, so his corpse remains unmolested [...]
Matthew Boyle To Spend Valentine’s Day Alone, Cockblocking Bob Menendez
by Stefan BC
Hi single people! Sorry about the uber-commercialized “fuck you I’m getting laid tonight” holiday that coupled people foist on you every February. You really don’t deserve it. But take solace in at least one thing: you are not Matthew Boyle of Breitbart/Daily Tucker fame. Most normal Americans will spend the day avoiding their Facebook Feed [...]
Wingnuts Furious About Three-Month-Old Veep Debate And Zzzzzzz
Bloated cub reporter Matthew Boyle is so mad you guys. Did you know that Martha Raddatz, who moderated the vice presidential debate, has close personal ties with a certain Kenyan Impostor? And that he came to her wedding to some guy she has since divorced? Because it was 400 years ago? And that neither she [...]
Intrepid Reporter Matthew Boyle To Write About Thuggy Black People For Ghost Andrew Breitbart
The first time we came across the work of cub reporter Matthew Boyle, he was calling for Minority Report precogs to watch over the DC Metro (Tube?) and possibly secretly installing Nannycams in Foggy Bottom Starbucks restrooms. But our rising star went on to make quite a name for himself, reporting the shit out of [...]
Breitbart Takes ‘Fact-Check’ Craze To Logical Conclusion: Bin Laden Is Alive, GM Is Dead
Everybody’s boo-hooing about the fact-check craze sweeping the nation, whether it’s sane, reasonable people laughing at AP’s ridiculose “fact check” that stated Bill Clinton was wrong to point out a Romney welfare ad lie, because Clinton once lied about all the intern snatch he was pulling, or the goons of Red State telling their minions [...]
Ghost of Andrew Breitbart Finds Negative Review Of 1989 Elizabeth Warren Book, Declares National Emergency
by Doktor Zoom
How frightening is Elizabeth Warren to wingnuts? Scary enough that Breitbart remnant Big Government is running a Very Important four-part series by Micheal Patrick Leahy about Warren’s scholarship. Four parts! Wow! That must really be some dynamite exposé they have, huh? Absolutely, if you consider repeating the same charges from a negative book review over [...]
Ghost Andrew Breitbart simply does not care for this “screeching screaming song and dance” performed by Democratic (did we not already say she was black?) Congresswoman Gwen Moore. But why? What could they possibly have against this nice lady’s funny Def Jam Poetry about Scott Walker’s sleazy voter nullification and everything else he has ever [...]
Breitbart’s Biggest Bombshell Yet: Someone Else’s SAT Scores Prove Obama Might Be Dumber Than Bush!
Ghost Andrew Breitbart never sleeps, there is too much VETTENING to be done! The latest, it will knock you out of your bobby sox, cats and kittens! But what is it? What VETTENING could keep spreading and growing, like the brain holes you get from syphilis? Oh, only THIS (prepaaaare yourselves!): President Barack Obama is [...]
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