Wonkette

Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™!

Condi got to go back to the rumored land of her ancestors. No, not Russia, Africa! Her last trip there was a royal dud, but this time she brought along friends: the boss, his wife, Josh Bolten, etc., and she got to see the boss dance! She got a pretty sash! She got molested by scary natives! And then she got back and nobody cared. Relive the magic, after the jump…

MORE »

As the title of this feature tries so valiantly to assert, we don’t think that the Foreigns are really that different than from us. Sure, they jabber in weird languages and wear funny clothes, but when it comes right down to it, we all have the same basic set of human needs: we all want to get high, to have sex while we’re supposed to be working, to fake the deaths of our political enemies, and, of course, to live forever by extracting the organs of the healthy and powerless. MORE »

Admit it, Wonketteers: you’ve been disappointed by the quality of U.S. sex scandals in recent weeks. Dickcember was a little flaccid, with even the whole Axis of Fun scandal only netting a skeevy Senatorial staffer who was quickly fired, so: BORING. Could it be that the cold weather is forcing our leaders to keep it in their well-insulated pants? Politicians from the tropics and the Southern Hemisphere seem to have no such restrictions on their naughtiness! This week, The Foreigns offers a smörgåsbord of political scandal, from the pederastic to the cinematic. MORE »

* Don’t fret, we wouldn’t let an idle summer week pass without a shallow poll. Thus, we proudly present: The Hill Intern Hotties competition. Since everyone already knows how this works, we’ll just let you speed along - boys’ poll here and girls’ poll here. In case you’re one of those “readers,” we’ve also got written testimonials for all the pretty girls and all the strong men. MORE »

[10:05] AnonymousHillStaffer: USA USA USA
[10:05] wonkette: YES
[10:06] wonkette: FUCK GHANA
[10:06] AnonymousHillStaffer: haha they just showed people in times square watching on the big screen
[10:06] AnonymousHillStaffer: there were like 20 people watching
[10:06] wonkette: ha
[10:06] AnonymousHillStaffer: because NOBODY CARES
[10:07] AnonymousHillStaffer: im watching on univision though so it seems a lot more important
[10:07] wonkette: of course
[10:07] wonkette: i wish i got the Ghanian networks
[10:08] wonkette: they’ll be burnin’ some flags tonight
[10:08] AnonymousHillStaffer: the coverage would be things like “death to america”
[10:08] AnonymousHillStaffer: or “courageous ghanans bring death to america–in soccer”
[10:08] AnonymousHillStaffer: haha
[10:08] AnonymousHillStaffer: i love when other countries burn our flags MORE »

MORE »

Being a White House correspondent sounds like a great gig. Several former WH correspondents have gone on to that Valhalla for print journalism, television. And don’t forget their glamorous gala, the White House Correspondents Association dinner, taking place on Saturday, April 29. (Speaking of which: Word on the street is that invites to the Bloomberg after-party are out now. Are you on the list?) MORE »